Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Archive for the month “August, 2010”

Erica has the last word on wood

Me again! You know, with the Shadow Lane party coming up in three weeks, I thought it was time for a friendly little PSA (Public Spanking Announcement, that is). 🙂

These weekends are quite the extravaganza, and people attend for different reasons. Some enjoy socializing with their friends from around the country and beyond. Others are shameless spank hos (raising hand sheepishly) who love to play as much as possible, along with the aforementioned socializing. However, despite my reputation for being Little Miss Hard-Ass From Hell (as Razor Ryan once called me), I have learned from painful experience that pacing is absolutely essential. I need to last for three days. And while the spirit is willing, the flesh is sometimes rather uncooperative, especially if it’s been pounded on with heavy artillery.

So, regarding those frat paddles and other heavy wooden slabs some of y’all call toys?

(Thanks to my buddy Zelle, who created this graphic just for me!)

That’s right, folks. On these weekends, my bottom is a no-wood zone. OK, canes are an exception, as long as the wielder knows what he’s doing. Or even some lighter, thinner wooden implements, like a lightweight hairbrush, that sting but don’t feel like you’re hitting me with a table leg. But leave those frat paddles et. al. in your toy bag.

Mind you, I’m not speaking for all spankees, just myself. However, you may want to take heed: Many of us bottoms endeavor to enter the weekend on a lighter note and then build up. These heavy implements tend to mark and bruise, and even if they don’t, they impart a whole lot of pain. And it is usually considered very poor form to mark a bottom at the onset of a three (or four, or five, for some) day spanking weekend. Oh, you can do it, if you’re absolutely determined to do so. But you might find that everyone but the most diehard masochists will treat you like you had garlic and onions with limburger cheese sauce for dinner: they will stay away. Many other tops don’t like to spank a bottom that is already all bruised up, so these poor prematurely marked spankees will be deprived. Not nice.

I don’t care how finely crafted the implement is. Some of you actually make these things yourselves — I don’t care. I don’t care how long you sanded, polished and smoothed it. I don’t care if you even cut the fucking tree down yourself. The answer is still NO.

Yeah, I know your hands hurt. Our butts hurt more. Boo hoo. If your hands give out, then go for some leather. Or, here’s a concept… (gasp) Don’t spank so @#$%ing hard, maybe? 😀  Just a thought. Could work. Or not.

So, what’s our mantra for the Shadow Lane weekend? Pace ourselves! Happy hands, happy bottoms. Win-win.

Oh, and that last word I mentioned in the blog title? Here ya go; any questions?

Think you’re pretty tough, huh?
Not so tough now! Say bye-BYE….

Regarding last night’s flame war…

I will not have this. Is that clear? Jesus — I go to sleep, silly me, and I wake up to this mess. Haven’t had this blog for two weeks and already I have a flame war. Welcome to Blogspot, Erica.

I should have known that a controversial topic such as the one I posted was risky, but I thought people could handle it, and for the most part, they did.

Anonymous — your original point could have been well taken, if you hadn’t degenerated into insults. My original point was not disparaging F/M — it was merely saying that I, Erica, cannot watch it. It’s how I feel and it’s my damn blog. I never said anything directly nasty about men who bottom; I kept it to my own feelings and expressed that I wished I felt differently, but it is what it is and we all have our preferences.

KinkyAG, who is a male bottom, chimed in with his thoughts, but he was perfectly civil about it, and I appreciated that greatly. You, not so much. There was a way you could have made your points without attacking and being so nasty. Please don’t do it anymore. Has Zelle no shame? Yes, she does. I know her, have met her, and she is a person of high quality, intelligence and compassion. So knock it off with the insults to her.

I will not get into a he-said-she-said fest here. I will simply restate my personal rules: Comments are to be civil. No flame-throwing. No attacking each other. And no cross-talk. If you guys have an argument with one another, take it elsewhere. Take it to email. Take it to carrier pigeon; I don’t care. This is not an open forum, this is a blog.

Zelle and Lorraine, I’m sorry you two were attacked. But next time something like this happens (and it will, I’m guessing), please alert me. I monitor my comments closely and if I feel that something is insulting or inflammatory, I will sideline it, try to defuse it and if none of that works, I’ll delete it. And yes, some people will call that censorship, but I don’t care. Engaging with certain people is fruitless; they feed on it and they don’t stop. Lorraine, I sincerely hope you will continue to comment.

Again, I’m sorry that my last topic offended some people. But I am going to post controversial topics here sometime — it’s who I am. Opinions different from mine are welcome, but they must be expressed in a way that doesn’t attack. And I expect people to be adult and not hijack my blog with potshots at each other. That is childish and I am not a freaking hall monitor. OK? I don’t want to wake up and have to deal with stuff like this.

Oh, and Anonymous, for the record? My real name is Erica. Scott is fabricated. I’ve been very open about that. Many people in the spanking scene have an alternate name; it’s not about phoniness, it’s about maintaining a bit of safety and privacy, even though we are very public about what we do.

Dammit — I had a really fun blog planned for today; I was so looking forward to posting it. But I guess that will have to wait. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to go cool off.

Me, Opinionated?

Well, yeah. A little. Sometimes. OK, maybe a little more than a little.

Recently on FetLife, someone started a thread in which they asked whom we preferred to see OTK — a female, a male, or was it about equal? My reply was:

Uhhhhhhhhhhhm… just speaking for myself, when I see a man OTK, I want to gouge out my eyes. So it would have to be female.

All right, I’ll admit that was a wee bit emphatic. However, I’m not saying I’m switch averse. I’m not saying men who bottom are wrong to do so. I’m not saying they shouldn’t. I am saying that I, Erica, can’t watch it.

There are many bottom females out there who won’t play with a man if she even knows he’s a switch. It doesn’t matter if she hasn’t seen him bottom; just knowing that he does screws with her head and her image of him. Thank goodness I don’t feel this way, since my sweetheart is a switch. Actually, truth be told, he’s mostly a bottom, even though he’s a great spanker. He doesn’t get spanked, though. He likes other things, which I’d rather not think about. But my knowing about these things doesn’t bother me… as long as I don’t have to see them. Or hear a lot of details.

Is this wrong of me? Aren’t we supposed to accept all kinks and orientations? Accept, maybe. Embrace? No. Wanna watch? No. I think you can accept what another person likes in principle and say more power to them, have fun — but that doesn’t mean you care to witness it. My dear friend and top Craig likes fire play. I’m freaking terrified of fire. Doesn’t mean I don’t want him to do it — I just don’t want to watch it.

How the hell did a diehard bottom like me end up with a man who isn’t a pure top? We love who we love. And J gives me the freedom to play with other men, as I give him the freedom to seek out femdoms. It isn’t always perfect, not by a long shot. But we work on it. We used to go to BDSM parties where we’d both bottom, and we made sure we were never in the same room. I wish I could watch him enjoying himself, but I can’t. It may seem unfair, since he watches me bottoming all the time, but he’s not me. I can’t help how I feel, so I work around it.

Some of the best spankers I’ve ever known are switches, but they all have one thing in common — I don’t watch them bottom. If I did, I couldn’t bottom to them. All I’d see in my head is that image, and I couldn’t take them seriously as a top. It is what it is, fair or not.

I’ve known some switch couples who alternate and top each other. I guess it takes a special kind of mind-flip that they’ve perfected, but I know I couldn’t do it. I think even if I were a switch, I couldn’t play with a man who was topping me one day and bottoming to me the next. I mean, how do you switch gears like that? This is where (for me) poly play would come in.

Anyway… yeah, I know I have strong opinions and perhaps I voice them when I should just think them. But some people have told me privately that I speak what they’re thinking. Guess someone’s gotta do it, huh? 😀

To the switch males with whom I’ve played — I love you guys. You’re great spankers. What other activities you enjoy are none of my business. But if I walk into a room and see you front-and-center OTK with your pants down around your ankles, it’s going to mess with my head. Not saying that’s right or wrong, it just is.

A side note: Just a friendly reminder to everyone. I don’t moderate comments and I like to keep things open. But I have seen some blogs where the comments devolve into endless bratting, angry debates between commenters or crosstalk in general that goes completely off-topic. Please avoid that here. If y’all want to debate something with each other, that’s what email and forums like FetLife are for, but not a person’s blog. Thanks! 🙂

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 8/13

First CHoS on my new blog! Before I get started, however, I have a few more thanks to bestow.

I’ve already thanked Richard and Bonnie for their blog entry shout-outs to me, and now I can add Craig, Juju and Zelle to the list. OK, now people must truly be sick of me. Who is this Erica and why is she on every damn blog I look at? 🙂 Thanks, guys. Oh, and all those MySpace jokes? Pretty damn funny.

Also, thanks to Marie for sending me a reduced version of my photo. The original size was just a bit much–you could count every freckle on my forearm, for God’s sake.

I don’t have many entries this week for a CHoS, but I simply had to post one, so I thought it would be fun to go back into my old blog archives and find the very first CHoS. It dates back to April 20, 2007–can’t believe I’ve been doing this for over three years!

Pasted below is the introductory column. Anyone remember it?

As y’all have seen, I get some pretty tacky and obnoxious messages/emails/IMs sometimes. I have often said I’m going to compile them and write a book, but I can’t do that if I don’t keep track of them. Therefore, I’m starting a new feature here: Whenever I get a really good (bad) one, I’m posting it in the Correspondence Hall of Shame.

I was going to call it the Idiot/Boor/Clueless Jackass of the Week, or something like that, but sometimes I get more than one in a week, and other weeks I get none. So, I’ll just post them when the mood strikes.

I will NOT use any names. And if someone writes me a well-intentioned and polite note, I won’t post it just because it has poor spelling/grammar. This isn’t about ridiculing people; it’s just about expressing my frustration with artless correspondence. And hopefully to make a few of you laugh, and nod your heads in commiseration!

Today, we have two. The first one was sent on my profile. I am very specific on that profile–I make sure the readers know I’m looking for spanking only, I’m not seeking sex, I’m not a submissive, etc. But still, I get notes like this one:

I like to warm up a sexy ass before I gently fuck it. If anal is a hard limit, I may allow you to give me a nice blowjob as a reward for all the work I put into “tanning your ass.”

Isn’t that classy! Hello… did I say anything about wanting sex, anal or otherwise? And you’ll allow me to give you a blowjob? Excuse me, pal, but spanking me isn’t work, it’s a privilege. :-Þ

And here’s our second offering:

I would like to put a firm hand on that bueatiful rear end.Some things about me. I had a prostate promblem so my dick dosnt work so good. That is way i am looking for new ways of entainment.

(groaning) Can you say TMI, kids?

Yes, these are real. You may now wipe the spewed coffee/tea/whatever off your computer monitor.

And here are the newest entries:

lovely pussy
u are amazing at 52

(sigh) Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m a walking miracle. We all know that 52 is ancient. (looking around) Where is this cat of which you speak?

Oh, there she is. Leave her the hell alone.
No intro to this one, no hello, just this:

asrwe you going to las vegas

Yesrw, I asrwm.
having any luck getting your butt beat? ever feel the rubber strap on your ass? it well leave a welp
No, actually, it won’t. It will leave a welt or a weal, dumbass.
Ack — it’s Friday the 13th. Hope everyone has a safe and lucky day, and have a great weekend, y’all.

See how much fun I have reading all this stupidity?

OK, so…

… are you sick of me yet? (damn, I miss my emoticons!)

I have three orders of business this morning. First, thank you to everyone who has come to take a peek at my new blog, and to those who have commented. Regarding comments, I think I’ve already discovered a BlogSpot glitch. Without any sort of rhyme or reason, a few of the comments people have posted showed up in my mailbox, but not on the blog itself. Folks, I have no clue why this happens, and if it happened to you, I’m sorry. Rest assured I have not deleted anyone’s comments.

BlogSpot indicated for commenters to sign in to some profile — Google, OpenID, what-have-you. You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to. There is an “Anonymous” option, and then all you have to do is sign your name within the comment so I know who you are.

Second, Bonnie gave me a very funny shout-out on her blog; thank you, Sis! And speaking of Bonnie… I owe her an apology. You know, I subtitled my MySpace blog “Life, Love and Spanking According to Erica,” and when I moved here, I decided to take a variation of that as my main title. I didn’t know where I came up with that, not consciously anyway. Then last night I’m reading Bonnie’s blog, and what did my eye fall upon but her blog’s subtitle: “One Woman’s Celebration of Life, Love and Spankings.”

Ooops! Did I read that at some point and then subconsciously rip it off? Ugh! I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear! I’m sorry, Bonnie. I didn’t mean to be a copycat. (hanging head in shame) But do take it as a compliment, ’cause it is. (beaming)

And third, I need to see if I can post a picture within a blog properly. Testing, one, two, three….

Yayyy! It works! I don’t have to go through all that rigmarole of posting it to Photobucket or Flickr first, then copying the URL, then pasting it, then sizing it… blech!

Happy me!

So far, so good

I’m liking this so far. I figured out how to add a photo, but I don’t see any way to adjust the size of it, so y’all will just have to put up with me being larger than life at the top of the page. 🙂

I miss a couple of things from MySpazz blogs — 1) the ability to reply to each comment individually (which they just removed anyway), and 2) the emoticons. No big deal. I will be dropping in to check comments often, so I’ll keep up with them more or less as they come in.

Any comments about the look of the place? Is it readable? I tried to keep in mind what people have said about the font being too small, the colors being unreadable, etc.

Per Todd and Suzy’s most excellent advice, I’ve checked “No” on the Adult Content setting, so people won’t get that stupid warning every time they log in to the blog. Instead, I put a warning at the top of the page. Blogspot-savvy folks — will this be OK? I don’t want to get kicked off here because I didn’t designate this blog as adult.

I have seven followers already! I have so, so much to learn about feeds and RSS and backlinks and all this other techno-crap I am hopelessly ignorant about. But at least I made a start.

A word about comments: I love hearing from you! The usual blah blah blah about no flaming, keep it respectful and civil, etc. applies. I may act like a brat on occasion (I can see you rolling your eyes out there), but this isn’t a brat board.

Any of you want to be added to my blog list, please let me know. Don’t forget, if you have my blog on your list already, please update the link.

Again, all the archives of the past five years are intact on the old MySpace page. In the future, I may repost some of the classics. Or not. We’ll see.

Thanks to Richard Windsor for posting about my new blog, and to Sandy and Zelle for tweeting about it! (insert big cheery grin emoticon here)

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