I love it. It’s gray and serene and so, so quiet. Just the patter of the raindrops. It soothes my soul.
This weekend was a little better than the last one; J is very weak and tired all the time, and still a little feverish, but he was a bit more himself this weekend. I saw glimpses of his joking self now and then. I just wish he’d get his appetite back… he’s so thin. He did go to the doctor again last week, had an exam. It’s not in his lungs, he doesn’t have swollen glands in his neck. I don’t know why it’s lasted this long, but it could be because he was so damned run down before he got it, working 12-14-hour days and sleeping so little. Anyway, I took him on his various errands, made sure he was fed, helped him with his chores.
Regarding my scene with Craig tonight — unfortunately, life interferes with one’s fun once again, and he had to postpone. Too much stuff going on, very understandable. We are hoping to reschedule soon.
Meanwhile, last night I remembered that New Guy had suggested our getting together tonight and I had told him I couldn’t. Taking a chance that he hadn’t made other plans, I wrote to him and said that if he wasn’t busy and would still like to come over, he was more than welcome.
He’ll be here at 6:30 tonight. 🙂
It’s raining. I’m playing. For another little while, I can let go of worrying about J. He called me this morning… just wanted to assure me that he’s hanging in there and tell me how much he appreciated my care this weekend. (sigh) I’m glad it makes him feel better. I just wish I didn’t hate doing it so much. Seeing him in such a weakened state makes me panic and project, and when I do that, I’m screwed.
Off to the gym with me.