Do I look like a @#$%ing chef to you??
New Guy came over tonight with a three-pack of brand-new wooden spoons. WTF?? The first time he came here, he brought me a birthday balloon and a flower. Now I get freaking spoons?? Is the honeymoon over?
Since they were kitchen implements, he got this crazy idea that I should spend more time in the kitchen. Needless to say, I didn’t share that sentiment. OK, he said, if I wasn’t going to use the kitchen for cooking, then he’d use it to toast my buns.
Yeah, well… I showed him. And his damn spoons.
We moved into the living room, where I was OTK for a long hand spanking and then put over my ottoman for strapping and paddling. I wasn’t as giggly tonight; I was feeling a bit high-strung and knew I wanted to play hard. So I pushed. What a shock, huh?
However, there are times when I really am foolish. I mean, I forget where I am and how many evil implements are at the ready. At one point, he kept whacking me with the paddle I hate most, and I complained loudly about it.
“I can’t help it,” he said, “it just looks so good on your bottom.”
“It would look a lot better shoved up yours,” I snapped.
News flash: That was the wrong thing to say. I don’t know what gets into me sometimes. But he made sure it got whaled out of me. For a while, anyway. I’m sure whatever it is will return. It never stays away for very long.
For tonight, though, I was tearful and contrite, and he held me for a long time afterward. Once I’d returned to Earth, we realized that once again, we didn’t have enough pictures. Naturally, we had to address that situation.
If you look close, you can see that my mascara is smeared. Feel sorry for me?
(sigh) I didn’t think so. I don’t care. I still think he’s a big meanie.
And yet, and yet… I kinda like him anyway. 🙂
Oh, and get this… I posted the broken spoons picture on FetLife, and got this gem of a comment:
Are newer utensils getting weaker or are older butts getting stronger?
I haven’t thought of a proper comeback yet. I simply must say something; I can’t let that one go.
Later. Right now, I feel too good to be bitchy.