Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Correspondence Hall of Shame, 10/29

Been a while, hasn’t it? I don’t have too many offerings, but I couldn’t let Halloween weekend pass without a few frights.

hi mayb we get to know eachother??

Or mayb not.

This one was from a 19-year-old:

I think you are super hot.
Can we fuck?

Well, I know I can, and I suppose you can too. Oh, you mean with each other? No chance, Junior.

You’re 19!!! Why on earth are you propositioning a 53-year-old? Can you even count to 53?

A comment on one of my FetLife photos:

well trained, i must say !
Excuse me? Really?? Do I look like a @#$%ing circus seal to you? Train this, pal.

I looked up his profile; he’s one of those uber-Dom types with “Master” in his name. Here’s my question — if he’s so masterful, why is he writing in all lower case, including “i”? 😀

And this week’s favorite:

I am 6’3, 275, D/D free, non drinker, non smoker, THICK, long lasting and can cum multiple times if the feelings right

Ummmm… good for you?
Let me get this straight: You’re just one inch taller than my boyfriend, yet you weigh about 100 pounds more than he does? I’ll say you’re THICK. Sorry, dude. I’m not into guys whose necks are bigger around than my thigh.

Here’s a follow-up on the guy who posted that comment about “older butts” on my FetLife photo earlier this week. I decided to reply with this:

Please tell me that my eyesight is failing me — someone didn’t actually post the words “older butts” on one of my photos, did they? No one could be that clueless… right?

He then wrote:

Ok, vintage butts is a better term….my bad

Oh yeah, that’s much better. I’m not old… I’m vintage! (rolling eyes) And you’re not stupid, you’re brain-cell deficient.

What else is going on… For those who have been asking about J (and thank you for that), he spent 2 1/2 hours with his doctor yesterday. She took blood, x-rays, asked him all sorts of questions. She thinks he may have some sort of low-grade infection that is keeping him sick all this time, but she wanted to wait to see what the various tests yielded before she threw antibiotics at him. So… we wait. Meanwhile, he’s functioning. The good news is, she isn’t worried about his weight loss. He’s thin, but he’s not underweight and his BMI is good. She told him don’t try to force calories, just try to eat enough now to maintain his weight until he gets his appetite back.

I think this has scared him; it sounds like he’s ready to make some lifestyle changes, cut his work hours, get more sleep. I just hope the resolve doesn’t disappear once he feels better… but I can’t worry about that now. I have to stay in the present and hope for the best.

Meanwhile, I had my first experience with cryotherapy yesterday — I had a benign thing on my face sprayed with liquid nitrogen, which freezes the growth and kills it. Not for the squeamish, folks. The treatment causes an ugly, swollen blister before it heals and sloughs off. So now I have a band-aid on my face so others don’t have to look at this icky thing. Perhaps I’ll take it off on Sunday and go out and scare small children. (OK, it’s not that bad.)

Here’s the insult to injury. This thing on my face has a fancy name: Seborrheic Keratosis. I did a little research on it, and found that an alternate name for it is “senile wart.” In other words, it’s a benign growth that older people get.

And now if you will excuse me, I’m going to go open a vein. Have a great Halloween weekend, y’all.

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16 thoughts on “Correspondence Hall of Shame, 10/29

  1. Shouldn't that be "vintage wart"?Ron had a similar procedure done on his face a few years ago to remove some skin cancer, around this time of year. With his swollen face, red scar and black eye, he was quite a sight for the kids who came to the door trick or treating! To match him, I got a "worm through the face" kit for myself, and together we were quite a gruesome twosome.Hugs,Hermione

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  2. Hermione — LOL to "vintage wart." Poor Ron! And you "disfigured" yourself to match — now that's love.

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  3. Erica , its nice to see your back , no seriously turn around and let me see your back LOLOLOL Just kidding ! Hope you will be better fast. The treatment causes a swollen blister huh ? Much like a good sound spanking does to the other cheeks ? Swollen red blister on both ends ! And both of them cute !!

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  4. Alan — LOL… please, don't give the spankers any ideas! Trust me, this blister is most unattractive. At least it's along my jaw, and not square in the middle of my face.

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  5. Happy Halloween! Good news that J is on the slow but steady mend.Meanwhile, wonder what treats are hiding in "Master" New Guy's bag of tricks! oh I hope for his sake he NEVER requires you to address him that way! 🙂

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  6. Kelly — (laughing) You know, I don't see that happening.

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  7. Omg where is guys going to get the hint that you are TAKen….

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  8. Maybe a senile wart is one that forgets what caused it to flare up in the first place, and not one that appears on "vintage" women.Glad that J is on the mend. Neither of you could take much more of this illness.

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  9. u.s. — I don't think they care. (sigh)Pam — (snort) Maybe so; but I sure wish it would get out of MY face! 🙂

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  10. Happy Halloween my Erica you are so funny you made me laugh again hehehe, i hope your wart goes away soon, i am happy to hear that J is on the mend that is great news 🙂 i won a first place beautiful princess pink horse ribbon tonight at the halloween party i won it for the best costume i was Tinkerbell you would of been so proud. love you big hugs from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

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  11. I'm glad that J may be getting some answers, and that's fantastic that he may be making healthy changes. Thanks for the CHOS and the funny comments. 🙂

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  12. I have an idea.Do go and cause some damage but not on yourself- it can be saved for "vintage" guy. Give him some credit though, at least he taught himself a new word. I am glad to hear you the world of medicine is making some progress with J and that he is making some with himself. These sorts of things can be horribly wearing.I think the universe is telling you to have some fun or a treat. If you listen very hard you will hear the same thing too- I am sure of it.

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  13. Jade! How awesome! Congratulations, honey.Bonnie-jo — thank you. Always happy when people enjoy these.Poppy — yes… wearing. Very. Fun… yes. Need fun.

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  14. As usual you got my laughing. Thanks for that, need more laughter in my life.Give J my best wishes.Age? Hell my wife is 58 and still a kid at heart!Her saying is, "Women and wine get better with time."I don't care how many candles are on the cake, you are just fabulous!

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  15. "mayb not" had me ROFL, as the kids say here on the Interwebs, and "circus seal" was not only hilarious by itself, but made me laugh all over again, remembering Groucho, Chico and Harpo in "Horsefeathers": "Hey, this isn't legal, there's no seal on it! Where's the seal? Find the seal! Get the seal!" ARF! ARF! ARF! :-DAnd, yes, adding to everyone else's remarks, that's exceptionally good news about J! OK, put on your "Dark Shadows" soundtrack CD and enjoy the day!!Furry hugs!

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  16. Poppa Mark — you're sweet; thank you. And yes, laughter is very good. I need it too.Wolfie — I am due for Marx Brothers marathon, I think! Didn't Harpo pull that live seal out of his coat?

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