And the bottom’s red glare…
…The belts cracking in air,
Gave proof to the brat,
That her Top was still there!
Yeah, I’ve got your Star-Spankled Banner right here!
(again with the damn tag…)
Yes indeed… who needs crowded parks and hordes of screaming kids? We had plenty of fireworks right here!
New Guy tried to go in one direction, saying I’d overreacted on Friday and gotten a lot of people worried. Hummph! I said I couldn’t help it, and he said, “Well, maybe you should just stop and think!”
“Thinking is my problem!” I protested. “I think too much!”
“OK then,” he said, “try not thinking?”
I asked him if he’d give me lessons on that. He didn’t appreciate it.
I proceeded to argue (successfully) that I’d had a good reason for my panic on Friday and I hadn’t posted that blog to stir people up unnecessarily, that there was no malice on my part. He agreed that I was right. He didn’t stop, however.
“Well, I thought I was spanking you for a good reason.”
“There you go, thinking again,” I snapped. “I told you, stop doing things you’re not used to.”
That did it. OTK was over.
Onto the bed I went, and he stood so he could get a full swing.
Hey! I just realized he didn’t say, “Oh, did that hurt?” this time. Not even once. Whaddaya know.
Oh, but he was in extra good form tonight, having himself quite the grand time at the expense of my poor maligned backside. And get this — he’s been playing a lot of guitar lately (even going to talent nights at clubs) and he had the nerve to say, “You know, I think we should dispense with the hand spanking. It’s not good for my hand; I need to take better care of it.”
“Not good for your hand???” I echoed incredulously.
“Yeah, it’s bad for my knuckles!”
“Then don’t USE your knuckles, stupid!” Oh crap. I said that out loud, didn’t I.
Later, still on the musical theme, he was beating out melodies on my butt with the paddle and trying to make me guess what they were. OK, I got “Shave and a Haircut.” But then I couldn’t get the next one for the life of me.
He laughed. “It’s ‘Danny Boy’!”
Of course it is. You’ve got to be @#$%ing kidding me.
Then he tried another one. I didn’t get that one, either.
“It’s ‘Jingle Bells’ — I thought I’d try something more recognizable!”
“Jingle Bells????” I screeched. “It’s JULY, for Christ’s sake!” No wonder I didn’t figure it out. “Jingle Bells,” indeed.
Besides, who can make out any sort of melody when all these damned toys are coming down on them?
He’d come over an hour earlier than usual, but alas, he left early as well. Last week, he hadn’t left until nearly 10:00 — he still had to drive home, walk his dog, etc., and didn’t get enough sleep. Said that was my fault, as well. Of course it was, dear. (rolling eyes)
Ah, but I kid. I was so, so glad to see him, as always. He put me in my Happy Place. Can you tell?
I look stoned, don’t I? No, just happily spent from the fireworks show…
Hope everyone had a spectacular 4th of July weekend. 🙂