OT Rant: The latest and greatest in disgusting food
Been a while since I did one of these. Last April, to be exact, when I ranted about Denny’s bacon sundae. Well, they’re at it again.
Having come to the end of their “Baconalia” cholesterol fest, they decided to move on to “Let’s Get Cheesy.” Imagine the possibilities. Now take those possibilities, stuff them with cheese, dump cheese on them, and then cover them with cheese sauce. There’s so damn much cheese, you don’t know whether to eat it or take a bath in it.
All the items on this featured menu are disgustingly decadent, but I’m focusing on the most outrageous: The Mac ‘n Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt. (OK, I don’t know about you, but I’d feel like a horse’s ass just ordering it. What a stupid name.)
Here it is, in all its gluttonous glory. Buttered and grilled potato bread (God forbid it should be wheat bread). A burger patty, melted cheese, and Frisco sauce (whatever the @#$% that is; probably mayonnaise-based). And then? Yup. A layer of macaroni and cheese.
This sandwich has 1690 calories (I don’t eat that many calories in a whole day!!) and 99 grams of fat. If you were to eat a stick of butter, that would be a healthier choice.
But wait, there’s more! It comes with a side of French fries, accompanied by dipping sauce. Ketchup? Nah. Cheese sauce. In case you’re still cheese deficient.
When does this stop, people? According to the latest statistics, 33.8% of adults in America are obese. No, not overweight, obese. As in morbid. Obesity-related diseases and conditions are on the rise. Children and adolescents are getting fatter. Food portions are getting bigger, fattier, cheesier, breadier, sweeter. The media tell us to diet. The restaurants and food ads gleefully encourage massive gorging.
Let’s just make it simple, shall we? Take a wheel of cheese, batter it and deep-fry it, smother it in chocolate sauce and whipped cream, and eat that six times a day. At least that will cure one of the world’s problems: overpopulation.
Granted, I don’t like bacon and I’m not all that crazy about cheese either. But even if I did like these food items, I’d eat them in moderation. A slice or two of pizza with a normal amount of cheese is fine. Do you really need triple-thick-crust pizza with five kinds of cheese piled on it, with more cheese baked into the crust???
Oh, and if you’re hankering for some dessert after that macaroni mashup, another “Let’s Get Cheesy” item is a Strawberry Cheesecake Milkshake. Ice cream blended with cream cheese and cheesecake chunks.
Could be worse, I guess. They could have crafted a Hot Cheese Sundae.
OK, I just made myself sick with that one. Later, y’all.