Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Mercy



I hear that’s a good movie. Never saw it, myself. Kathy Bates won the Best Actress Oscar for it. But that’s not what I’m going to talk about.


EDIT, 11/22: Aaaaaggggghhh! It’s just been brought to my attention that the name of the movie was Misery, not Mercy. Of course. I knew that. Chalk it up to being incredibly spacey last night. Sometimes, I try too hard to be clever and it backfires on me.

ST and I both had things on our minds tonight. We spent about a half-hour talking before we started to play, and I was up for a distraction and some fun.

We started out silly — actually, we were silly for a long time. I was challenging him as per usual.

“You just can’t keep your pants up, can you?”
“Not around YOU, I can’t!”
“Why? Am I that hot?”

“You’re full of hot air — does that count?”

He sent me to my bedroom to get the heart-shaped paddle. “And leave those pants down!”

“OK,” I said, leaving them down, but pulling up my panties.

“I said leave them down!”

“You said pants! Make up your mind!”

He had me OTK for a while, but then decided he liked me on my hands and knees. Figures.



I was NOT feeling the love…



Then it was time for the ottoman, where belt, strap and flogger commenced. Finally, I started to settle down. Stopped saying words and just made sounds. Got into the zone.

He gave me a long, hard flogging, interspersing the hard strikes with light, caressing slaps, keeping me wondering. It got progressively harder, and I struggled a little, but recovered each time. I wanted to go on.

I’m not sure what happened. Maybe my mind was askew tonight, because I was worried about something. Maybe it was the combination of hard AND fast. I’m not sure. But then he switched from the flogger to the heavy strap and really let me have it with that. Usually, I roll with that and am able to absorb it. Tonight, I couldn’t. My brain couldn’t process the pain fast enough and I wanted to scream to release, but of course I can’t scream here. So the pain had nowhere to go, and that inner battle started up.

Take it. I can’t. You have to. Don’t be a wuss. I can’t, I can’t. Just push through it, it’s almost over. NO.

“Mercy!” I cried. And of course, he stopped immediately.

I hate safe words. I hate using safe words. If I’m in a scene with a brute/jerk/Uber-Dom, then I refuse to use one, because my pride won’t allow him to see that he broke me. And if I’m playing with someone I care about, I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him worry that he did something wrong. Either way, I feel like an ass if I mercy out.

But this was ST. I had nothing to prove to him. We were way beyond this kind of nonsense. So I said it.

He soothed me with lotion, rubbed my back, stroked my hair. He asked if I was OK, a couple of times. I assured him I was. He asked what had happened — was it the pain? Was it too intense? I said I didn’t know for certain. I just knew I’d gone as far as I could go, this time.

I apologized to him. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he said. I felt like I needed to, anyway. I wanted him to know for sure that it was me, not something he did wrong. I would never, ever want him to think he did anything bad to me.

Silly, stubborn pride. Erica must maintain her bionic reputation! Oh, bull.

After I calmed down, I felt fine. Relaxed. Sleepy, almost. My mind was quiet for the first time today. And if it was possible, I felt even closer to him than before. Because I was able to say mercy to him, when I can’t say it to anyone else.

“There is no such thing as a bad scene with you,” I told him. I meant it.

Please hold good thoughts. ST is bringing his dog in for a bit of surgery tomorrow. I know this time tomorrow night, he’ll feel very relieved and glad it’s done. So best wishes for his beautiful boy.

Hmmmm… I do believe he accidentally took my heart paddle with him. Don’t tell him I said so, but I hope he brings it back. šŸ™‚

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23 thoughts on “Mercy

  1. Your bionic reputation is safe. Thank you for sharing a great scene. I hope the surgery o ST's dog is successful.joey PS There was no mercy by Kathy Bates in the movie.

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  2. Interesting, after you put yourself through physical and mental torture: And if I'm playing with someone I care about, I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him worry that he did something wrong. Either way, I feel like an ass if I mercy out.When you do the logical thing, the result is a closer bonding …I felt even closer to him than before. Because I was able to say mercy to himI have to wonder if you had said this to some others, if the relationship would have changed.

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  3. I know the feeling exactly, and have those internal dialogues with myself from time to time. There's no shame in admitting you've had enough.I'm sure ST's dog is in good hands, and we'll keep our fingers and paws crossed for a successful outcome.Hugs,Hermione

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  4. You are, and always have been, very sweet, Erica.

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  5. Erica,Nice post and letting us know that it is really ok to use a safe word. I don't have one myself, but my top knows when I need a break and we both see it at the same time. šŸ™‚ It is really neat when both top and bottom are in tune and understand each other.I have a feeling both ST and his buddy are going to be feeling better after today.

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  6. Ok. Ok. I see it. A dangling participle. LOL

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  7. Hi Erica, Thank's for sharing this VERY Lovely scene with all of us :-)As usual i really enjoyed reading this. I would say mercy as well if it was too much for me :-)Believe me i would say mercy more then ever now since i got sick.As ALWAYS You and ST did a FABULOUS job :-)I hope ST's doggie doe's ok with surgery.Much love and hug's to you my VERY dear friend,from your naughty girl Jade XOXO

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  8. joey — I saw the clip of her shattering his ankles with the sledgehammer. I'll pass on the rest of it!OBB — I don't know. Maybe. But for now, THIS relationship (next to John) is the most important. :-)Hermione — thanks for the crossed fingers/paws. He's a sweetie; full of energy and kisses.Lampwick — thank you. :-)Bobbie Jo — mercy is universal, I think. The generic safeword. Some people create their own, but I've never bothered.Jade — thanks, sweetie. Sometimes, it's a relief to admit we can't handle everything.

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  9. I REALLY appreciate this post!! There should NEVER be any GOOD reason for not using a "safeword," and I am GLAD that you did!!This acknowledgement MIGHT "encourage" others to WISELY use their safewords, as well!!Bob.

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  10. Bob — I hope it does!

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  11. I hope all is well with ST and his beloved pet.

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  12. Kelly — I asked ST to please email me after he gets the pup home, to let me know all went OK. Should be sometime this afternoon.

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  13. Guess what Pretty one? I like you on your hands and knees as well…;) You look veryplayful in that picture!Your heart shaped bottom and a heart paddle? Be still my heart.Maybe I should make him a few more paddles… just for you!Poppa

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  14. Poppa — (snort) He makes his own paddles, thank you (including that one) — he sure doesn't need more of 'em! :-)Hey, guess what? My third Spanking Court scene just went up. Check it out!

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  15. I understand the battle of not wanting to use a safeword, but that's what they are there for. I'm glad you and ST were both able to roll with it.Regarding your title, that makes me think of the song "Mercy" by Duffy. I sang that at karaoke night at a spanking weekend once. Yeah, I'm clever like that. šŸ˜‰

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  16. Lea — not only have I not heard of that song, but I haven't heard of Duffy, either. I'm OLD.

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  17. She has a really unique voice, I love the song. And if you check out the link, you'll see how many of the lyrics were really fitting for the setting. Hehe. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWRTRtap-Is

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  18. OMG! You two play partners were made for each other! LOLOLOLAND SINCE WHEN… have YOU.. not FELT the LOVE! After all.. I see a "heart afire"… LOL

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  19. Zelle — ha! Cute. šŸ™‚

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  20. "Lea — not only have I not heard of that song, but I haven't heard of Duffy, either. I'm OLD."OMG, I am OLD too but you would LOVE this girl. Soul music from a petty welsh girl. http://youtu.be/y7ZEVA5dy-YDid you at least watch "The Commitments?"PoppaPS as for the paddles…. did you want 3 or 4?

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  21. Poppa — I loved The Commitments. šŸ™‚ And how about 0? Does 0 work for you?Oh, and Lea, I checked out the clip — oh, geez, of course I've heard that song. I'd have to be living under a rock to not know that one! Just never heard of the singer.

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  22. I was spanked by a heart paddle once ….. But it broke. I hope your heart paddle does not break. Nothing worse than a broken heart. The VBB

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  23. VBB — yes, I read about that! šŸ™‚ ST assures me this one won't break; he ought to know, 'cause he made it.And you're right — broken hearts suck.

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