Vanilla and kink worlds, that is. That happened to me this week. Bear with me while I set up the story.
A couple of months ago, I received email from a friend who knows who my father was. He wrote, “Did you know that your dad is mentioned in [name deleted for discretion]’s autobiography?”
I was confused. I knew who the author is; she’s an actress and comic, around my age, and she has a disability which she often pokes fun at in her standup act. “Do you mean my cousin is mentioned?” I wrote back. I know she worked on one of my cousin’s TV shows in the 70s-80s.
“No, your dad,” he replied. He went on to explain that in the early 80s, my dad pitched a TV pilot for her and they had several meetings. The pilot didn’t sell, but they became good friends. And he gave her a very special gift, one she never forgot.
Wow. Yet another story I didn’t know about my father. Now that he mentioned it, I remembered Dad talking about that pilot. I remembered the name.
I Googled the actress, whom I will call G, and found that she has her own website, which I searched until I found a contact email. I then wrote to her, introducing myself (with my real name, of course) and thanking her for the kind mention of my dad in her book.
Her email back to me was lovely, bubbling with enthusiasm about how delighted she was to hear from me, that she’d always hoped that somehow we could connect but she had no idea how to find me, how much she’d loved my dad, etc.
She also sent me a friend request for Facebook. I’d written to her with the address that’s connected to my Facebook account, and she found me that way.
Except on Facebook, I’m Erica Scott. Oops.
I really don’t know why I’m even on Facebook. It’s so relentlessly vanilla and boring, and even though a lot of fellow spankos are on there, they’re on with their real names, family and work connections, etc. I have no interest in apps and games, and I couldn’t care less about Farmville, Zooville or any other ville. If you look at my profile, it’s not readily obvious what I’m into; I have no spanky pictures, and in my description, all I say is, “There is more to me than meets the eye, and let’s just leave it at that.” However, my friend list has a lot of kinky-sounding names in it. And I list my blog under Website. So anyone with even a modicum of curiosity could figure it out with a couple of mouse clicks.
I accepted her friendship invite. She wrote me a couple of messages on there, but all she commented on was my love for Dark Shadows, which she shared. On my birthday, she posted a greeting on my wall and said that when her schedule freed up, she’d love to meet for coffee/dinner.
Very long story somewhat shortened, we met this past Wednesday at a local deli halfway between us (turns out she lives about 10 miles from me). I felt instantly like I’d known her for years.
We talked and talked and talked. She’d brought me a copy of her book, and told me about a lot of the stuff in it, how she’d revealed a lot of secrets (about herself, about Hollywood, etc.), bluntly discussed her disability and what it was like growing up with that, and so on. She talked about my dad and cousin, and shared stories of them. I ate it all up.
And then G said, “So, what about you?” “What about me?” I hedged. “Tell me about you,” she said, picking up her sandwich. Clearly, it was my turn to talk.
So I told her the usual boring stuff. Never married, no kids. Lived alone since I was 17. With the same man for 15 years, but we don’t live together. College grad, work as a proofreader/copyeditor. Blah blah blah.
“And? What else?” she asked. Her gaze was calm and direct. I wondered how much she’d figured out. If she had questions, she wasn’t asking them. She was letting me decide what to tell.
I don’t understand why, but this woman, whom I’d known for about an hour, suddenly seemed like an old, dear friend and I wanted to tell her. I knew so much about her, and I wanted her to know about me. And my instincts told me I could trust her and she wouldn’t judge.
“Well,” I said, fiddling with my coffee cup. “Did you wonder why I’m Erica Scott on Facebook?” “Yup, that thought crossed my mind,” she answered.
“And did you happen to look at my friends list?” I went on. She nodded. “I did… interesting collection of names,” she said, smiling. Oh, screw it, Erica. Tell her.
So I did. I told her who Erica Scott is and what she’s into. Not in detail; she didn’t need to hear all that right off the bat. Just a brief outline — the kink, the wiring since childhood, “coming out” later in life, finding John, getting into videos. I said that in a small circle, I was well known. I also told her that no one in my family knew.
Her gaze never wavered, she didn’t bat an eye. She got it. She may not be kinky, but she knows what it’s like to feel different.
I told G about my book and shared my own process of writing it. She said she wanted to read it. I hesitated. “I hope it won’t offend you,” I said. “There’s some pretty explicit stuff in there.”
“Please,” she scoffed. “Don’t you get it? I’m a comedian. Nothing offends me!”
Three hours flew by. I was so overjoyed to meet her, to talk with her. She was a connection to my past, to my father. Pretty much everyone in his world has died, but here was someone my age, full of stories and memories. She told me things my father had said to her and I could practically hear him saying them.
And it felt SO good to hang out with a new friend and to be able to be both Erica Scott AND Erica [real name], not just one or the other.
Before we left, she autographed her book for me, signing it “Your new old friend, G.” I got her mailing address and the next day, I arranged to have one of my books shipped to her. I also got a sweet message from her, saying what a pleasure it was to meet me and she looked forward to getting to know me better. And that she honored my trust.
How about that, huh?
In other news: Looks like LOL Day #6 was a success. I feel like I spent most of my day yesterday reading all the LOL blogs, reading comments and adding my own to others. For everyone who dropped by and said hello, thank you!
My third Spanking Court clip may go up this Monday. I hope. Stay tuned. Cali said the remaining three will go up one per month (December, January, February). I can’t wait! Meanwhile, she sent me some fun pictures to tide me over. I posted this one on FetLife, so I’ll put it up here too. It’s from Scene #4, when I dragged the Disciplinarian into court with me, complaining about him to the Judge. Check out the look on V’s face!
This makes me snicker every time I look at it.
Have a great weekend, y’all. And to our vets: THANK YOU.