Are you ready for this?
You may want to sit down. I don’t think y’all have ever seen me quite like this. And you probably won’t again, so you’d better memorize it. I may come to my senses tomorrow and take it down. 🙂
OK, so the naked thing is nothing new. The collar? That’s another story.
Allow me to backtrack to the beginning of this evening, if I may.
When ST first arrived, he asked me how I was doing. He already knew, having read my blog. And I’m sure he knew I needed to blow off some details. I can talk to him about this stuff. He is as discreet as the day is long. And he’s a switch himself, so he understands.
He sat quietly and let me vent a bit about my frustrations with the domme/slave thing. When he sensed I was finished, he did an assessment — perhaps it was subconscious on his part, or maybe it was deliberate. He knew I wanted and needed to be edgy tonight. I craved to be pushed, challenged, unnerved a bit. I needed to let go.
“I could use a beck-and-call girl, myself,” he mused, winding his hand into my hair and tightening his fist. “I think I should make you MY little spank slave.”
“Right,” I scoffed.
“I have a collar and leash right here in my bag,” he said, watching my face closely. “I think I should put it on you, what do you think?”
He was checking with me. I knew it. I blustered, “Oh my god! You’ve GOT to be @#$%ing kidding me!”
But I didn’t say no. And so the collar went around my neck.
Only with someone I trust this much, would I go there. I constantly amaze myself with the things I’m willing to do with him, things that are so out of my little play box. And tonight, that was just what I needed.
He made me crawl into my bedroom on my hands and knees, and once I was on the bed, I had to take off all my clothes. But not before I had one last moment of defiance.
After that, I was subdued rather quickly. Especially when the clothes came off and the ropes came out. Collared and tied, I was helpless.
“Now I can do anything I want, can’t I,” he taunted. “And you can’t do a thing about it.”
No, I couldn’t.
And oh, it hurt.
“You’re not going to scream, are you?” he growled in my ear. I shook my head vigorously. “Perhaps I should MAKE you scream.”
But somehow, I didn’t. I cried, I smashed my face into the bedspread. But I did not scream. I did say please, please… “Please what? Please show you some mercy?” “Yes, please,” I sobbed. “I’ll think about it,” he said.
After the tears began, he softened a bit. He untied the rope and took off the collar. But the spanking went on for quite a while after that.
He paused, hovering over me. “Are you getting what you need?”
“Do you need some more?”
“Go on, let it out,” he murmured as I wept. I did. It felt so, so damned intensely good. The knots in my stomach and chest dissolved. All the tension flowed out with my tears.
I don’t know how he always knows just what to do, where to take me. He asked me if I liked it. I answered as honestly as I could: “I liked it with you.” I don’t believe I’ll ever fetishize that degree of D/s. It’s not me. But freefalling a bit, knowing he’s there to catch me, is damned hot.
Reluctantly, he finally let me put some clothes back on.