OT: Embarrassing fun with my new scanner
In my plodding, reluctant efforts to drag myself into more up-to-date computer equipment, I recently chucked my fax and my really crappy old printer and bought a new combo Epson printer/scanner/copier. I even set it all up myself, which is no small feat, considering that electronics and I are not friends. And I’ve never had a scanner before, so this is a fun new treat. Did some digging into antiquated photo albums…
For those who read my book or who have known me for some time, you’ll recall that I’ve said I was a cute baby and little girl, but then things went awry and I went into an Ugly Duckling phase that lasted from around age 8 to my mid-teens. People tell me that I’m exaggerating, that I should produce pictorial evidence. Honestly, there isn’t much of it. Aside from school photos, there are very few pictures of me in existence during that phase, and thank goodness. However, I did manage to dig up a few, so you can get some inkling.
First, we’ll start with the cute stuff. Here I am on my first birthday. Yup, you can tell it’s me — my mouth is open.
OK, here comes the big “awwwwwww” moment. My brother’s Bar Mitzvah — I was three weeks shy of five years old (and I’d already learned how to smirk):
Look at those little gloves! “Hee hee, I look adorable and I know it.” Yeah, enjoy it, little girl. In a few years, you’ll look like this:
AAAACCCCK! My sixth-grade school photo; I was eleven. Braces and chubby face in full splendor.
Here I am at 13, holding our enormous orange cat Henry:
Will you look at that schnozz?? Now you know why the other kids called me Pinocchio.
Trying to hide behind Henry and failing utterly:
Back then, when people told me to haul ass, I had to make two trips. And I hadn’t even reached my peak weight yet; that was at age 15. And no, I have no photos of that, mercifully.
Oh, and speaking of my book, you’ll also remember my father’s evil third wife, Vampira. Here’s a rarity — me, my dad and the wicked witch in one photo, on my 18th birthday: