"Oh, put a sock in it"
It’s been a strange, unsettling and combative week on FetLife. Granted, there are tons of members and a constant swirl of activity, and some things are bound to touch a nerve now and then. But this week really got under my skin. I allowed things to get to me more than they should, and I’m not thrilled with myself over it. And at the same time, I got sort of a heady thrill getting up in certain people’s faces. I don’t know what that’s about, really. I don’t like it, but sometimes, I can’t seem to help myself.
It started earlier this week, with a man who posted a piece of writing about “what to do with your sub when she gets too full of herself.” He then went on to describe in excruciating detail how you first put her in a hot bath, then tie her down naked to a bench, strap her with all your might for 15 minutes straight (not just on the bottom, but on her back and all the way down to the backs of her knees) until she’s covered with welts, then give her an enema with hot soapy water. Guaranteed to change her attitude.
I wrote that yes, people tend to have a different attitude when they’re in the hospital. Others chimed in, saying that punishment sounded excessive and irresponsible. He then wrote to me, “Erica, save the drama for your books” and went on to say that my books are lame. He also put down the others who agreed that what he’d described could seriously injure someone. Well, it turned into a free-for-all, and the moderator closed the thread. Should have ended there, but then this idiot, assuming three different sock-puppet names, went around to the profiles of everyone who challenged him, myself included, and posted insults to their pictures. One woman was fat, another one was ugly, etc. Me? He said I have yellow teeth.
I could have ignored it. But instead, I posted to all my friends that I’d discovered his sock-puppets, and I made fun of him along with several others. He started it!
Later, a particular political group posted something so offensive, a couple of my friends with opposing views joined the group to say what they thought. They were non-combative, not at all disrespectful. I did not join in — I don’t join political groups. Period. But I watched what was going on; watched as my friends were censored and banned for disagreeing. One of my friends wrote to the moderator, respectfully and politely, trying to get him to change his mind and allow a healthy debate. The moderator wrote back all sorts of rude, condescending crap, like “Give it up, boy.” Boy?? Good Christ, I thought. People like this are voting in the next election. I’m scared.
Finally, another friend posted an announcement that she would be traveling soon and she was booking spanking sessions. She posted it in a spanking group and she got permission from the moderator to do so. But then it rolled downhill into one of those “spanking models are akin to prostitutes” flame wars.
And several pages into it, one of my favorite people (not) had to chime in, as always. A bitter, unpleasant, condescending woman who manages to start or exacerbate flame wars nearly every time she posts. She’s been doing so for years, starting on the old Shadow Lane message board, and she continues to do so on FetLife. I have met her in person and I’ve gotten into it with her a few times online. She has a passive-aggressive, snarky, bitchy way of posting, with thinly veiled contempt for anyone in the pro spanking industry (she writes of “models” and their “work” using quotes). Even her punctuation is annoying. She never uses a period, a comma or a semi-colon; no, she ends every sentence (and mid-sentence) with ellipses. So her posts go on and on and on, several paragraphs, filled with “… … … … … ” And it’s never one question mark; it’s always three. (???) She has these crappy little parties in her home, and she’s always talking about MY parties, MY rules, MY way of doing things, as if hers is the benchmark to follow. (I heard from someone who went to one of her parties; she said it sucked.)
Last year, when there was a nasty thread going on about spanking models doing pay sessions at parties, she was so offensive that I blew up and told her publicly to put a sock in it, and that she didn’t need to keep going on about HER parties, because we heard her the first 100 times. Several people messaged me and thanked me.
So this time, when she started up again (ending her rambling tome with her usual “Just my two cents”), I commented how it was amazing how her two cents cost us so much of our precious time. Then I posted “… … … … … … … ad nauseam. Yawwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.”
Again, people wrote to me and cheered. How sad that she’s so universally disliked. I could almost feel sorry for her, if I didn’t find her so personally objectionable.
The thing is, I’m not usually into engaging like this. Truly, I’m not. I hate fighting, and I don’t get off on being mean to people. But if certain people provoke me first, I take an almost perverse delight in poking them back. And I know I shouldn’t, but dammit, sometimes… it’s irresistible.
Maybe it’s a holdover from my childhood, when I was bullied. Perhaps it’s my righteous anger side, roaring to the forefront: “If you fuck with me, or my friends, I’m NOT gonna be quiet about it anymore!”
Or maybe it’s simply that I have very little patience and people across the board annoy me. (sigh)
Regardless, I’m sure ST will take me to task for this bitchiness tomorrow. I welcome it. But damned if I’m going to take back anything I said. :-Þ