As I look around the blogosphere lately, I’m reading such interesting, funny and poignant posts. I have no such thing here today. Just some random oddities.
First, in the ongoing madness of search keywords, here’s the latest and strangest of the strange:
my panties lyrics
Funny, I never knew there was a song called “My Panties.” Perhaps it goes something like this? (sung to the tune of “My Bonnie”):
My panties are grabbed by the waistband,
My panties are down to my knees,
My panties are pooled ’round my ankles,
Oh, pull up my panties for me!
Pull up, pull up,
Pull up my panties for me, for me
Pull up, pull up,
Oh, pull up my panties for meeeeee!
Thank you. I have ruined yet another song. 🙂
Yesterday, I did the bus-and-train sojourn downtown to see the periodontist, who is monitoring my gum recession. Good news — in six months, there’s been no change, which means I don’t need to have surgery. We agreed he’ll check me every six months and keep an eye on things.
Thank goodness it’s only every six months. I don’t know how people deal with daily commutes on public transportation. On the way downtown, the woman seated behind me had a wet, dripping, horrible cold, and I had to listen to a rattling, phlegmy sniffle every minute or so. For God’s sake — haven’t you heard of Kleenex? I wanted to reach into my purse, withdraw my pocket pack of tissues and fling it over my shoulder. Blow your @#$%ing nose!!
But that was nothing compared to the ride home. Fortunately, I have a good photographic memory and I can relay a lot of detail. Still, nothing compares to the actual sight before my eyes, stepping onto the bus and sitting down across from me.
I don’t know how old she was — maybe early to mid 20s. Doesn’t matter. It’s what she wore that burned into my retinas.
A baby-doll dress, white with blue and gold paisley print and adorned with blue sequins. It barely came down to her thighs, so underneath it she wore — wait for it — multiple layers of starched, ruffled lavender petticoats. It would have looked ridiculous had she been thin, but unfortunately, the image was worsened by the fact that she was quite overweight.
But wait, there’s more. On her feet were rainbow-colored, tie-dyed sneakers and light blue bobby socks. On each wrist, several dime-store bangles (plastic, rhinestones, macrame). She had a large multi-colored clip in her hair, shaped like a butterfly. And she wore large headphones. OK, nothing strange about headphones, right? But these weren’t just any headphones. They were covered with purple and pink heart-shaped rhinestones.
Topping off the ensemble? A turquoise Tinkerbell backpack.
I tried not to stare. But it was like the proverbial car wreck.
I’m reminded of a line I heard many years ago — I can’t remember who it was, but this performer (a comic, I think) was talking to a woman wearing a loud, garishly colorful ensemble, and he said, “Nice outfit. Looks like Walt Disney threw up.”
What’s everyone giving up for Lent? I think I’ll give up taking public transportation.