Of all the nerve!
So yesterday afternoon, I showed John the full Spanking Court final clip. He seemed to like this one the best of all; he kept cheering, chanting “Harder! Faster! Harder! Faster!” over and over, and he especially loved it when the Disciplinarian gave me the last 50 all on one cheek. “I love this! Can we watch it again? Can we?”
I rolled my eyes. “You can watch it all you want, if you’ll just shut up!” He said we’d definitely have to give the neglected left cheek some attention. Yeah, yeah.
Later, we went to dinner at the local sushi place. We eat there about once a week; to say it’s a small-town quirky place would be an understatement. It’s tiny, run by one sushi chef who prepares everything, and he always has two or three young girls waiting tables for him. We’ve watched dozens of them come and go in the years we’ve been eating there; apparently, he’s not much fun to work for and they always seem a bit nervous. So why do we eat there? Because despite the insanely erratic service and the semi-frequently screwed-up orders, the food is good. And John likes to support the businesses in his little town.
John suffers from migraine headaches. However, he is one of the lucky ones, if you can call a migraine sufferer lucky — he feels them coming on early (his vision blurs), and he can always knock them down by ingesting anything with caffeine. So at the first sign, we immediately have to get either coffee, caffeinated soda or No-Doz into him. Time is of the essence.
So last night, we’re sitting at our table when he got that telltale bleary, unfocused look in his eyes. Blinking, he ducked his head and mumbled, “I need caffeine.” I knew what that meant.
Well duh, we were in a restaurant. Call the server over and ask for a cup of coffee, right? Not in this place! We’ve had to ask for water refills two and three times, usually. There was no such thing as getting anything “immediately” in this restaurant. And he didn’t have any No-Doz on him.
I went on autopilot — I snatched my wallet out of my purse, left our table and flew out the door. Outside, I ran two doors down to Happy’s Liquor, grabbed a 20-oz bottle of Diet Coke, practically threw the money at the clerk and ran back to the restaurant, shoving the bottle into John’s hands.
How ridiculous is this, being in a restaurant and yet having to run to a nearby liquor store to get a drink?? But it worked. He chugged the soda, and within minutes, his eyes cleared. A few minutes after that, we were served our food and he was able to eat just fine.
Back home later, I was at the bathroom sink washing my hands. John dashed in, snatched his hairbrush off the counter and started whaling away on my left butt cheek. “What are you doing?” I screeched.
“Getting that left cheek!”
“That’s gratitude for you!” I hollered, trying to squirm away from him. “After I saved your evening!”
To this, my beloved quipped, “Who GAVE me the migraine in the first place?”
Well! You know, he’s lucky he’s so damn cute. Or I just might forget my bottom-only status and kick his ass from one end of town to the other. 🙂