Fifty Shades of Ellen
No, this is not going to be a review of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Why? Because I haven’t read it. Nor do I intend to. The most I’ve done is flip through it in a bookstore. However, I’ve been keeping up with the mass media about this book (one of three), about the author, about the phenomenon that is this trilogy. I watched E.L. James on “20/20.” I’ve read the reviews — both from vanilla readers and those of us who know BDSM firsthand (no pun intended).
My impression? It’s a vanilla imagining of what we do, not to be confused with what we actually do or what we’re about. It’s written by a bored housewife who did all her research on the Internet, and it’s being gobbled up by legions of bored housewives who engage in missionary sex once every couple of weeks or so and wonder what this kinky stuff is about. It’s an S&M version of those overwrought, clichéd romance novels I eagerly consumed in high school and college as a closeted spanko, surreptiously seeking the occasional spanking scenes. And finally, it’s yet another twist on that tired old chestnut storyline, “young, naive girl gets enmeshed with an older worldly gentleman, who just happens to be conflicted and damaged, but they complete one another.” Meh.
Anyway… a friend on Facebook passed this on to me, and it’s simply too good not to share. The incomparable Ellen DeGeneres, attempting to do an audio version of the book — as one might expect, she had a bit of trouble with it. Enjoy!