Someday, I’ll learn to simply ask for more
Someday. But tonight wasn’t it.
Just last week, I wrote about bratting. Once again, kids, the following is not something I’d suggest if you don’t know your top. 😉
Most of the time, I like to play hard. It’s my only spanking of the week and it has to tide me over. And ST is usually up for delivering it. However, I think he was a bit tired tonight. He was quiet when he arrived, and he told me that he’d strained his back a bit and it was sore. I asked if he was OK, if he wanted some Advil, but he said he was fine.
We commenced with our scene and he perked up a bit, getting into it and engaging in banter with me. He referred to himself as my “doctor,” and I said, “What does PhD stand for — phony doctor?” “No… Pretty Hard Discipline.” I groaned aloud.
“Some of us need to behave,” he teased. “Don’t we?”
“What’s this ‘we’ stuff? Who are you, the Queen of England?”
“Are you calling me a queen, now??” He’d give me a few harder swats after I cracked wise.
But I needed him to ramp it up. I waited for it to get edgy, to feel the challenge, to wonder if I could take it. The strap and slapper stung, but I was absorbing them fairly easily. And then, ST actually got onto the bed, lay next to me and started swatting me playfully from his lying position. Oh, please!
I bent my elbow, propped up my chin on my hand and turned to look at him. “You know, if you’re not up for this, we can just end it and call it a night!”
He laughed. “What kind of night shall we call it?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I snapped. “How about Lame-Ass Top Night?”
That did it.
Of course I don’t think he’s lame. Of course I didn’t mean it. But oh, it just seemed so right to say that moment. 😀
“I guess we’d better get down to business, huh?” He didn’t wait for me to answer that, just laid it on hard with the strap and slapper.
Uh oh… he caught my eye roll.
I think that was around the time he decided to get my two canes and lexan paddle. Oh, dear. Yes, I was about to be challenged. Especially when it came down to the final 10 with all three. That was when I finally screamed inside my head, “Oh noooooo, I can’t take it!” But I knew I could. I hunkered down, breathed deep and took it. Because I wanted to. I needed to.
It hurt, of course.
Not complaining, however. 🙂
Afterward, I was spent and quiet, so we stayed on the bed for another hour or so in companionable silence. I do believe the activity might have fixed ST’s back as well as my attitude.
Not sure why I was so edgy tonight. Maybe it was all the tension lately. Maybe it was all the asshattery last week. I didn’t feel angry, just edgy. Whatever. For now, it’s vanquished.