Correspondence Hall of Shame, 7/13
What better day than Friday the 13th to honor the Internet Freak Show?
Message to me on FetLife:
Nice profile pic. Is that your freshly spanked as?
As what? Nah, that’s not me. Some strange woman just happened to appear bare-assed in my bedroom.
Guy on Alt wrote to me. His profile bore zero resemblance to mine, and he was older than what I specifically requested, so I didn’t reply. A week later, I get this:
Why won’t you let me spank you??? We can meet for a coffee or lunch and see how it goes and move on from there. You pic the place in your are that you feel comfortible with.
I still didn’t reply, but realllllly wanted to write the following:
Uhmmm… why? Well, let’s see:
1. You’re several years older than my crystal-clear stated age range, and you look 10 years older than your age;
2. You can’t type three sentences without making three errors; and
3. Your profile states that you’re especially interested in women who wish to learn how to lactate. Wrong anatomical region, pal. I don’t have milk glands in my butt. Move on.
None of you’re fucking business.
you are totally fuckable
I am in LA a lot
Well, good for you, Snookums. Feel free to pass by my apartment when you’re in town. And then keep going.
Finally — doesn’t happen often, but this little gem is from a female:
Hi Erica , my name is [deleted] I just wanted to say I was asked to be spanked across my ample bottom … I am so naughty lately and justly deserve it but an so embarrassed to be bare bottomed and humiliated … Any suggestions I know I can’t hold out they are ready to doank any moment and I do not have a choice.. My bottom is swelling with anticipation . So are breasts he plans to tug and pull them a bit I imagine.. Here we Go….
What am I supposed to say to this, really? Thanks for sharing? Happy doanking? (WTF is doanking?) Oh, and her bottom is swelling with anticipation? Hmmm. Sounds to me like an excuse why she can’t get her jeans on.
Hope everyone out there is doing well and dealing with the heat without too much suffering. It is disgusting here — the air feels like a thick, hot, and wet blanket. All the more reason to stay indoors, my preferred place. 😀
Have a great weekend, y’all.