Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Ode to our stress relievers (AKA spankers)

OK, without going into an abundance of detail, let’s just say this past weekend sucked eggs. Saturday was a whole lot of stress and aggravation and heat and traffic, culminating in a horrible fight between John and me. In the car, on the freeway. Fortunately, I’m sane enough to keep my head while behind the wheel and I didn’t crash us into a divider (or another car). But it was highly unpleasant. Many apologies (both of ours) and a million tears (mine) later, we are OK. But it left me feeling shell-shocked, fatigued and tense. I hate fighting. I hate confrontation. And I go into emotional overload.

So I was more than ready for ST today, and guess what? He was more than willing to help me with my stress problem. Whatta guy, huh? So, to the tune of the Rolling Stones’ “Mother’s Little Helper” (embedded below), I have penned “Stress Releasing Helper.”

What a drag it is, being stressed

Life is oh-so-hard today,
I hear every bottom say,
Baby needs something today to calm her down
And though she’s not really ill
When she’s acting like a pill
She goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
And he puts her OTK
Spanks her till she feels okay

Feeling like a shrew today
I hear every bottom say,
She just can’t stop acting out, it’s such a drag
So she eats a frozen cake
Till she gets a stomach ache
And goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
And he knows just what to do
Spanks her bottom black and blue

Spanker please, lots more of these,
I’m still not sane, I need more pain!
What a drag it is, being stressed

Jobs are such a bitch today,
I hear every bottom say,
Bosses think you’re there to work, how fucked is that?
Now they want her to stay late,
She says “NO, I’ve got a date!”
And goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
She forgets about the rut
While he’s whaling on her butt

Spanker please, I’m o’er your knees
I’m full of steam, please make me scream!
What a drag it is, being stressed

Life will piss you off today
I hear every bottom say
Plain vanilla every day is just a bore
It’s a spanking that she’ll need
Not the pills and not the weed
She goes running for the shelter
Of her Stress Releasing Helper
He will spank her backside bright
And she’ll sleep in peace tonight

Feeling so much better. Thank you, darlin’. You’re so much better than any drug (cuter, too). 🙂

Single Post Navigation

17 thoughts on “Ode to our stress relievers (AKA spankers)

  1. TERRIFIC parody! It's funny, I'd rather have confrontations with people I do NOT know than those I'm close to. I'm glad you and John made up.Enjoy sitting today. 🙂

    Like

  2. Erica, would you say celebrating along with the Rolling Stones, 50th Anniversary, your parody of one of their tunes. You had a 'spanking good time' relieving your 'stress'.

    Like

  3. I believe every bottom can recognize her/his self in that song. Very funny. LMAO I'm happy you and John made up. My best to both of you. 🙂

    Like

  4. Hi Erica — I am VERY happy that you and John made up :-)I hate fighting too.I Love your song parody it was funny hehehe LOL and i can relate to it :-)YOU AND ST ROCK. I am happy you both had a great time.Much Love and hug's from your naughty girl Jade xoxo

    Like

  5. Loved the parody, I can identify with it. :-)Blame the %$#&@* heat for the arguement, when it is hot like it's been it doesn't take much.

    Like

  6. Kelly — when there's no emotion or caring invested, I can confront rather comfortably. But with a loved one? I can't stand it.Six — I'd forgotten about their 50th anniversary. Guess this was quite fitting, then!Nathalie — so glad you liked it. :-)Jade — ST rocks, yes. Me, I rock the boat.Kaki — some people adapt to it better than others. For me, heat is conducive to temporary insanity.

    Like

  7. I have actually never heard that song before, but now I'll never hear it the same again anyway. Lol. Great parody! I love the stress relieving helpers! Hoping to get a second dose of stress relief this week myself. Glad ST was there to help you out!

    Like

  8. Lea — isn't that a great song? It's an oldie, but pretty classic, so I figured most would know it. 🙂

    Like

  9. Haha! This was great. I had no idea you were a lyricist, Erica. I'd love to compose the music half of a song your wrote. That would be so much fun 😀 like Prefectdt and I did – http://spankedhortic.wordpress.com/2012/06/19/it-got-set-to-music/I understand what you mean about hating confrontation with loved ones. I'm definitely a man of peace and harmony and it's really stressful and jarring to argue with anyone, especially those who are closest. I'm glad you got it worked out :-)Best Regards,Quai

    Like

  10. Still reading you book Erica and did not beat anyone over the head with it. Your blog brought the tears to my eyes.Take good care of yourself xx

    Like

  11. God, I feel old. Lea never heard this song! Can there be others like her out there?

    Like

  12. Once again you've completely destroyed any chance I'll have of hearing that classic any way but Erica's way. Ok, you probably improved it. Still think you're a menace to the music industry. But don't stop rockin on 🙂

    Like

  13. Quai — well, I wouldn't call myself a lyricist. More of a parodist. Some songs simply cry out for spanko interpretations; I've done a few of them. 🙂 (A personal favorite: morphing Gene Pitney's "Town Without Pity" into "Tops Without Pity.")Margita — oh, good. (whew) 🙂 I will always try to take good care of myself; you do the same.Kaki — you and me both. (sigh)Emen — some say I'm a menace, period. 😀

    Like

  14. Weird Al's got nothing on you! BTW, that last pic is dangerously close to a gyno shot.

    Like

  15. Anonymous — you think? Nahhh. You should have seen the other ones I deleted. 😉

    Like

  16. That was terrific. I like a good song parody; you did a great job — kept enough of the original; picked a recognizable song; stuck to the rhythm…Sorry you were stressed out, though. I do agree, spankings can help a lot.

    Like

  17. Sandy — thanks! I'm really fussy about parodies; I insist on matching the syllables and word stresses and so forth.

    Like

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: