I am so over this @#$%ing heat
(warning: cussing ahead)
Anyone remember the old Twilight Zone episode called “Land of the Midnight Sun”? The one where the Earth is orbiting closer to the sun, and it’s so hot everywhere that thermometers are bursting and paintings are melting, and people are either dying or going insane? That’s what I think we’re in right now. Either that, or Hell. Enough already with day after fucking day of triple-digit heat! I’m so sick of it, I could scream. In fact, I think I will, in a bloggy sense.
Could be worse, I know. At least my building’s antiquated A/C system hasn’t croaked, as it usually does during a heat wave. But it can’t keep up with heat like this, so my apartment has been averaging about 76-80 degrees. I have every fan I own running and I’ve been spritzing myself with water for the evaporative cooling. Dinner tonight was a pint of frozen yogurt.
At least I got some respite at John’s house this weekend. His central air system is like A/C on steroids; it’s powerful enough to deal with triple digits. He had to work late on Friday evening, and when he came home, he said his place was nearly 100 degrees, but within two hours after putting on the A/C, it was back down below 80 already. (I didn’t go there until Saturday morning.) Of course, the utility companies are telling us to set our A/C at 78 degrees, but even my beloved diehard environmentalist said, “Fuck that” and cranked it down to 68. So it was quite comfortable there. Unfortunately, we couldn’t stay in there all weekend.
Yesterday, we went to the nursing home where his mother is staying until she’s well enough to go home (she got out of Kaiser Hospital last week). Before we went, we’d seen one of John’s sisters, who said she’d already been to visit. She made a face, saying the place was depressing, and they automatically put all the patients in wheelchairs and diapers whether they need them or not. Lovely.
The first thing I noticed when we walked into the place was the pervasive stink of pee. The people who worked there were nice, but the place itself was dreadful. John’s mom was pretty much out of it and it was impossible to have a conversation with her, but we still stayed for over an hour. From one of the nearby rooms was the sound of a patient howling and keening, and my nerves nearly snapped. We were just about to leave when John’s brother, sister-in-law and nephew arrived. I groaned inwardly. Shit. We almost got out, but now we’re stuck. Sure enough, we stayed another 15 minutes while John and his bro/SIL caught each other up. Deep breaths, Erica, we’re almost out. I’d just gone through this with my own mother and it was just too damn much. At least the nursing home she’d been in didn’t smell bad.
When we left, my car nearly killed us both — it was 110 in there, according to my car’s temp register. It was like driving inside a blast furnace until it finally started to cool down a little bit. At least it’s a newer car. Some of you might remember older-model cars, the ones that overheated on days like this when you ran the air conditioner.
Poor John. The heat did a number on him, too. Even long after we got back into his lovely icebox of a house, he was sweating. It’s like he was overheating from the inside out.
Today was better. Not cooler, you understand, but at least we didn’t have to do anything dreadful. We went to brunch, and in the parking lot, we saw two other couples walking ahead of us. Knowing that the restaurant was probably already packed with the lunch crowd and not wanting those two couples to get there ahead of us, I actually broke into a sprint and ran across the lot, down the sidewalk and inside. Hey, it got us seated sooner. So what if it damn near killed me.
So now, I’m home, and it’s still hot; it’s 10 PM and a brisk 83 degrees. Eric Idle is on TV as I write, at the closing ceremonies, singing about looking on the bright side of life. Shut up, Eric. You’re in London right now. Come here and deal with this damned heat and see if you still look on the fucking bright side.
Why yes, I’m cranky. Thanks for noticing.
Tomorrow Mr. D is coming over. I look forward to seeing him again, but I don’t know how either of us will survive playing in this heat. I was tempted to tell him to forget about the toy bag and just bring his bathing suit, but hopefully it will be OK. Perhaps I’ll spritz him with my water bottle. 🙂 That would be a kindness, wouldn’t it??
Tuesday I’m having lunch with Alex; she’s been in town for the past couple of weeks and this will be her last day here. Can’t wait to see her again! Wednesday I get my first batch of work from the new client, and Thursday I am seeing my cousin again. So it’s going to be a busy week. But if this heat doesn’t break, I may end up in the loony bin. Which I wouldn’t mind, if it were air-conditioned.
Excuse me for now — I’m going to go pour ice water on my sheets.