Most definitely OT — RANT
I’m going to apologize in advance, y’all. I don’t usually blog about anything to do with politics or religion. But I just read something that blew my head apart, and I simply cannot keep quiet.
WARNING: The following contains blasphemy. If this will offend you, please, please don’t read it.
So, remember Todd Akin? The Missouri senator who, a couple of weeks ago, started a firestorm by claiming that women who are “legitimately raped” won’t get pregnant, because their bodies will “shut it down”? Of course you do. It appears that the GOP is not too pleased with him (cue the understatement font here) and many have withdrawn their support for his re-election.
Today, his wife (someone actually married that asshat??) came out swinging, saying that the GOP’s attempts to get her hubby to withdraw are akin to rape. (Say what??) Lulli Akin (what the @#$% kind of name is Lulli??) also claimed that their tyranny is reminiscent of the American Revolution. Gee, Lulli. Exaggerate much?
Later in the Talking Points Memo article that I read, Lulli is quoted as saying it doesn’t matter if the campaign donations are small, because “God will increase them.” So if Akin receives a paltry sum, all that the campaign manager (his son, BTW) has to do is say, “God, multiply it. Make it pay.”
Is that how things work? I am flabbergasted! And here I’ve been, all these years, operating under the assumption that if I want money, I have to perform some manner of work for it. What a fool I’ve been! All I have to do is ask the Bank of God!
Hey, Big Guy! I have a few singles and a couple of 20s in my wallet. Couldja please multiply those into, say, several hundred thousand? That would be peachy! I don’t want to be too greedy and ask for millions — I just want enough to tide me over for, well, the rest of my life, with good housing, proper health care and enough money to provide my body with nutrients without having to resort to Purina Cat Chow.
(Hmm. Just remembered the skyrocketing costs of health care. Perhaps I’ll need millions after all.)
And since you’re so good at math, God, how about some subtraction as well as addition? Subtract at least half the amount of mouth-breathing, racist, homophobic dumbass morons from the planet, and add on a whole bunch more who possess healthy, functioning brain cells and reasonable minds? Think more Hawking, less Honey Boo Boo. Or more Plato and less Palin.
I know, I know. If you were to rid the world of ALL the idiots, that would take up all your time and you wouldn’t have any left over for your other requested tasks, like detouring hurricanes for the Republican National Convention. But half would be a good start.
I swear, every time I think I’ve heard the most asinine thing that could ever be uttered, someone comes along and lowers the moron bar. No, you @#$%ing twit. Money doesn’t magically multiply like a benediction. Your husband stuck his foot in his face and now he’s reaping the fallout. Deal with it.
(if you want to see the article, it’s here.)
Ugh. Ugh multiplied. Rant over.