Dear Hollywood: You Suck! (OT Rant)
Wow, another rant in under two weeks! Erica’s on a roll! How come? Well, let’s review. On Friday, John lost about half of his day off, dealing with issues with his mother. On Saturday, we went to visit my stepfather, who has aged about 10 years in a few weeks. And then today, Mr. D had to cancel because his sick neighbor went into the hospital and he didn’t want to leave him. Totally understandable… but that doesn’t mean I’m not so damned frustrated I could croak.
Who are the @#$%ing rocket scientists who decided that living longer is a good idea?? Argh.
Anyway, since I can’t do a thing about any of this, I thought I’d blow off some steam over something unrelated, but incredibly maddening.
Last week, I happened to notice a link to an online article entitled “Worst Hollywood Kisses.” Curious, I clicked on it. Turns out it was about celebrities caught making out by paparazzi, engaging in, and I quote, “gross PDA” (public displays of affection), the kind that made people want to yell “EWWWW! Get a room!” I believe the term “bad taste” was used as well.
So I went through the pictures. Granted, several of them were gross. Gene Simmons and his wife lapping at each other’s tongues. Angelina Jolie sharing a passionate, full-on kiss… with her brother. And stars I’ve never heard of, looking like they were trying to suck each other’s faces off, men grabbing at their women’s boobs, etc.
And then there was this one.
Wait a minute… what? This is gross?? Are you kidding me? Jay Leno bestowing a respectful and tasteful hand kiss to Betty White, the Grande Dame of Hollywood, is gross PDA? Since when?
I love Betty White. Betty White is my hero. Ninety years old, and still fully active, even starring on a sitcom (and often upstaging her much-younger co-stars). Sharp as a tack. Betty White gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, growing old doesn’t have to be a crapfest. And yet, this wonderful woman has to be added to such a tacky list? Why? Because she’s old? What bad taste? Uhhhh… he’s not playing tonsil hockey with her, for Christ’s sake. He’s kissing her hand.
But wait, there’s more.
This one was also included in the “Worst Hollywood Kisses” list:
What, pray tell, is EWWW-worthy about this? It’s a couple lying on the beach and kissing, reminiscent of the classic “From Here to Eternity” scene. Nothing is exposed, he’s not groping her, they’re just sharing a kiss. So why is it in included in the GROSS list? Because, as the article specifically mentioned, the photo is of 54-year-old Sharon Stone.
Funny how age wasn’t mentioned in any of the other photos. The implication is clear: Shame on Sharon Stone; she’s too damned OLD to be frolicking on a beach and engaging in public displays of affection. I guaran-damn-tee you that a picture of a young starlet couple doing the exact same thing wouldn’t have made the list.
Hey, Mr. D, are you reading this? Now do you get why I think ageing blows? Because of crap like this. Everywhere. Guess what, Hollywood? I’m 55, and I kiss John in public all the time. Checkers in the market call us “lovebirds.” People whistle at us from cars driving by. I like kissing him, and I’m going to continue kissing him, wherever I damn well please. And those of you who voted the above photos as gross, if you don’t like it, y’all can take your ageist attitudes, fold them four ways (with sharp corners) and shove ’em where the sun don’t shine.
Still feeling pissed off. Perhaps I’ll wander over to FetLife and see if there’s some Uber-Dom idiot who needs a new one. (grumble)