Interchangeable asses — what a concept!
A couple of days ago, I saw a post in FetLife Classified Ads that made my brain explode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no judging, people have their own kinks, blah blah blah. Shut up. Some things are just blecchhhhh.
In dire need of destroying a new slaves ass. Any anal whores wanting a sadistic ass master message me.
So, I pasted this charming tidbit into a Twitter post, adding, “Really, who could resist this?”
I got several tweets in response. This morning, I received this one from Spanking Blog:
“Anal whores with extra asses they want destroyed are flocking to him even as we type!”
I laughed out loud. Ha! Who’s got spare asses lying around the house? Then my feverish brain started sparking.
What about it, bottoms? Professional spankees? Frequent party attendees? What if we all had extra bottoms, ones we could swap out when necessary? Consider the possibilities!
First, the most obvious. Played too hard? Burned yourself out on Friday night of a party weekend? Got several shoots in a row and your ass is grass after the first one? No problem! Simply whip out one of your extra bottoms, switch it out, and you’re good to go!
But that’s not all. These extra bottoms could come with myriad custom features. Playing with a top who likes a mini-butt? Use your Victoria Secret Model spare bottom. Top prefers a bit more padding? Easy. Use the J-Lo version.
Playing with an Edward Sissyhands top? Whip out your Ultrasensitive bottom, which derives pleasure and stimulation from the wimpiest of swats. And for the tops with iron hands and paddles like boat oars? The Super Deluxe Kevlar.
And, without getting too graphic, we could even have versions with extra-strong, super-elastic back doors. You know, for those who enjoy playing hard back there, but don’t want to be torn to shreds, or incontinent before they’re 50. “Wait, honey! Don’t lube up that Mas Grande plug just yet. Let me switch to the Porn-Star butt.”
Oh, and of course, these spare bottoms would be self-exercising and toning. Having a bad ass day? Wanna rock that skin-tight new dress? Forget Spanx and control-top pantyhose! New ass, new you!
I really like this idea, folks. Would one of you inventor types get on it? It’s the future of spanking! This spankee has just finished bottoming to an entire football team, brandishing every toy in the Cane-iac collection. But you’d never know it, not with her Interchangeable Ass!
I can see only one potential drawback to this invention. Whenever someone tells you to “haul ass,” you’d have to make more than one trip.