Mr. D is fond of them. Whenever I express dislike or distaste for something or another, he likes to say, “I ought to tie you up and make you”…whatever. Couple of examples?
“I ought to tie you up and make you watch “The Hangover.” (Because he knows, with rare exceptions, that I detest lowbrow humor and I wish I’d never heard of Judd Apatow or the Farrelly brothers.)
“I ought to tie you up and make you watch Fox News.” (Because, well, I don’t need to explain that one.)
Really, if one wants to punish me, there are so many ways. Another couple could be:
“I ought to tie you up and make you eat cottage cheese.” (Unless you have a vomit fetish, I would strongly advise against that.)
“I ought to tie you up and make you watch a Three Stooges marathon.” (Oh, please, please, anything but that. Seriously. They make me sick. I can’t stand the sight or the sound of them.)
What would be a goofy but utterly effective threat for you? (In Pixie’s case, I know that would be “I ought to tie you up and make you eat green beans.”)
Speaking of silly threats (and yes, I’m about to shamelessly name-drop) — years ago at a Shadow Lane party, completely flabbergasted at my insatiability even on the Sunday night of a three-day spankfest, Keith Jones blustered, “I’m going to spank you until you can’t sit down for a minute!”
Yeah, that’s about right. 🙂
C’mon, reader participation time!