Relativity: Defining a hard player
(Please note: The following is not a judgment post about how hard some people play, about marks or damage, etc. It is simply an observation, and me wondering where I fall on the spectrum. So please, no negativity/judgment — don’t want any flame wars erupting!)
I used to call myself a hard player. People told me I have a high tolerance. The one and only Keith Jones bestowed upon me the nickname of “Bionic Bottom.” I broke implements, I made hands look worse than my bottom. So I figured, OK, I’m a hard player.
These days, I’m not so sure. Like everything else, “hard” is relative.
It’s quite the pictorial world online now, thanks to FetLife photo albums and the countless spanking photo blogs out there. I don’t have time to look at all of them, but there are some I view regularly (admittedly, to see if any of my pictures turn up on them). I see an amazing range of spanking evidence, shades varying from pink to red to purple. I see marks that go from surface streaks to deep bruises and welts that look like they will take a long time to heal. Occasionally, I see broken skin and blood.
Has it always been this way? Or is there a newer trend, a sort of competition to see who can take the most, who can get marked the most? Is pink now considered wimpy? Is there so much content out there now, that players feel the need to up their game in order to stand out?
I can take a fair amount of spanking. But lately, as I read and observe, it seems my tolerance has many limits. There are implements out there that go so far beyond your usual paddles and hairbrushes. The sjambok, for example — I don’t even know what that is or how it’s pronounced, but apparently, it’s nasty. Wood and leather? Meh… old school. Make way for the rubber, the lexan, the Delrin. Unbreakable, unshatterable, formidable. For every implement I can take, these days there seems to be another I can’t. And yes, sometimes I feel like a wuss.
Another observation I’ve made, and please correct me if I’m mistaken: Has spanking territory (skin-wise) expanded in recent times? I admit to being old school about spanking — for me, it’s on the behind, and directly underneath it (the sweet spot). Not too high, not too low, concentrated thoroughly on the cheeks. But now, I’m noticing that many include the thighs. And I don’t mean the upper-upper thighs, just in the vicinity of the sweet spot — I’m talking all the way down the back of the thighs. And sometimes on the front of the thighs as well, or the inner thighs. I used to see this extension of punished flesh only in the BDSM realm. Now, it seems more and more spankos are venturing into it too. I saw a lot of thigh bruising in the recent party I attended.
Now I don’t mind the occasional hand slap to the thigh, as an attention-getter. I even volunteered to take a “thigh turkey” (hard hand slap to the inside of the thigh, creating a hand print), because I was curious about how it felt. But implements on my thighs?? AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH! I don’t know how people take that pain. I bow to them. I cannot.
I’m also concerned about damage, honestly. The bottom, fleshy as it is, is made for quite a bit of pummeling. The backs of the legs, though, have underlying bone and muscle. The skin is more prone to broken capillaries and spider veins. And those don’t go away — you have to have them zapped with a laser, and that costs $$$. Also, the sciatic nerves run down the backs of the legs.
Let me reiterate — I can take some thigh attention. One of my favorite scenes last year at BBW was with the lovely gentleman who had a collection of implements and was giving me 12 with each one. I had to count, and he had a firm rule: NO kicking. If I kicked at any time, he would give me 12 punitive smacks with his hand… on my legs. Guess what? I kicked… once. Those 12 slaps were measured, not super hard, but they stung fiercely. I did not kick for the rest of the scene (and he tried damn hard to get me to do so, too!).
That was fine. Like I said, attention-getters. Something off the beaten path (har!) to make a point. But then we have the guy I played with a few years ago, who went to town on me with a wooden spoon. All over my thighs and hips as well as my bottom. I’ll let you guys be the judge. I thought this was ugly. But some might think it’s neat, I don’t know.
He contacted me a while after that and asked if I wanted to play again; he was genuinely surprised when I said no. He thought this level of marking was just fine. Don’t get me wrong — it’s not the marks themselves I objected to. On the bottom, they would have been fine. Not all over my legs and hips, though.
So I’ll ask again — is it just me, some isolated incidences, or is the spanking area broadening in general?
Let’s review, as Jules from BBW would say. I can’t take heavy wooden paddles and I can’t take rubber. I am fine with deep redness and some marking, but I don’t want to look like I was hit by a car walking across the street, sent flying and then skidding for two city blocks on my ass. I am a thigh/leg wuss. I don’t want anal play in any way, shape or form, and don’t even think about parting my cheeks to slap in the tender areas there. Hard player? I don’t think so. I think I’m going to have to reclassify myself as a medium player.
Then again, for some, my “medium” is beyond the pale (so to speak). So really, how does one define play levels?
Things I ponder when I should be working. Your thoughts?
EDIT: Would like to hear from the folks who do like the broader range of spanking area as well; interested in hearing what you like about that. Makes for a well-rounded discourse, getting various opinions!
Have a great weekend, y’all. 🙂