Dear Real Life…
… YOU SUCK!!!!
No, don’t worry. Nothing has happened. I’m just frustrated and in a MOOD, and need to blow it off.
Fun is needed. Play is needed. Distraction is needed. Balance is needed. Because there’s just too much real life I’m sick of, at the moment.
I’m sick of hearing about a dysfunctional government run by a bunch of babies, and being at their mercy. I’m sick of having too many friends living too far away. I’m sick of not having enough money to go be with said friends. I’m sick of worrying endlessly about the man I love more than anything in the world, because what will be, will be, and all my worrying helps nothing. I’m sick of wondering when I’ll get my next job project. I’m sick of all the “what-ifs” that swarm in my head during times like these. (No, I’m not going to list them. That would give them too much validity.)
I’m sick of ME — of how my well-being so often depends on externals. It annoys the hell out of me that all I need to snap me out of this maelstrom is a damn good spanking and all will be well with the world again. How screwed up is that?? I’m sick of how I need attention. It’s tedious.
Yeah, I know. I have a lot to be grateful for and I’m whining. Don’t lecture me. I know what I’m doing. Instead of stuffing down my feelings (along with half a jar of crunchy peanut butter, or too much chocolate, or whatever else would be my drug of choice), I’m admitting where I am today. You lucky people.
Fortunately, I am meeting a friend this afternoon, so I will have an hour or two of fun and distraction. It’s a gal pal, so there won’t be spanking. But there will be frozen yogurt. With crumbled brownie topping, dammit. And chocolate sauce. And nuts. Fuck calories. I’m burning them up right now with all my stewing.
I guess now is the part where I wind down with some sort of bromide about how this too will pass? Meh. Forget it. I’m just in a rotten mood today.