Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to hell we go
Happy Friday, kids. This is sorta off-topic, but funny. One of my friends posted it on Facebook, of all places, and I shared it there, so I thought I might as well do so here too.
Apparently, pretty much anything and everything is a sign of demonic possession these days, according to the fundies.
I didn’t even know what roughly a third of this sh*t is. I had to Google Freemasonry, Rosicrucianism, and Backmasking. The latter is playing records backward (the old-fashioned LPs) to hear hidden messages. Damn. I remember my brother and his pals playing Beatles records backwards in the 1960s. I guess they were all in need of an exorcist.
I suppose I can see where they’re coming from with some of these, like Wicca and Voodoo. Church of Satan pretty much spells it out. But come on… Vegetarianism? The Devil eats tofu! And WTF is Remote Viewing, anyway?
Yoga? Really? And what’s wrong with Earth Worship? What are we supposed to worship, Uranus?
Halloween is demonic? Why stop there? Why not claim Christmas is evil, too? After all, Santa is an anagram for Satan.
OK, I already knew the Twilight films were evil. Or maybe they’re just @#$%ing stupid.
Here’s what’s interesting to me: Nowhere on this list is anything that can be connected to kink. One would think at least Sadomasochism would be included. So, all those people who tell us we’re going to hell for being spankos and BDSMers? NYAHHHH!
Another fun tidbit I read recently — we’re not supposed to say “LOL” anymore, either. Why? Isn’t it an initialism for the fun and innocent “Laughing Out Loud”? Nay! It stands for “Lucifer Our Lord”!
My head hurts. All the real evil being perpetrated out there in the world, and these morons are worried about people reading a freaking comic book or playing a game of D&D. Scary, really. But I won’t go any further with that.
According to this list, I’m a pretty good girl. I’ve never been to a rave, I couldn’t care less about Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, and I don’t read palms, I just feel them. I’m scared to death of fire, so I’m certainly not going to walk in it. I haven’t smoked “marihuana” since I was 24, so the statute of limitations on my possession has run out.
But alas, I have been known to engage in fornication. (sigh) Fine, bring on Father Karras. My head may be spinning around, but at least there’s a big ol’ smile on my face. 🙂
Have a great weekend, y’all.
Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking 
Erica,
Damn. I just put on a Harry Potter costume and spanked a lot of female bottoms at a Harry Potter themed spanking event. I guess I am very naughty based on the list. I just hope some female tops punish me for my “evil” ways.
Hug,
joey
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joey — oh nooooooooooo! Repent!
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Who the freak would put Yoga and Voodoo on the same list!? Ludicrous! But then I'm all done with other freaks telling me why I'm doomed to Santa's workshop for eternity!
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Anonymous — I suppose there are worse things than being doomed to making toys for eternity. 😉
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Agree one hundred per cent on Vegetarianism. It had to have been inspired by the devil. Lycanthopy–ok, I can see that one. After I change I want to rip somebody's throat out. Church of Satan—a little obvious. Skull and Bones–that's Yale, right? Wasn't HW Bush a member? Makes perfect sense then. Heavy Metal—you mean gold, silver or lead? What about aluminum? Fire walking—no problem. I rarely indulge any more. Levitation—now wait a minute, that's too much fun to give up. And give up Remote Viewing?—no way! This is the only way I can see the inside of the girls' locker room and catch Mary Ann Slobotnik in the nude. And yeah, FYI, the devil made me do it.
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Playing video games is evil? What about being in a video game? Is that the same thing?
http://megagames.com/sites/default/files/game-content-images/ut2003od_2.jpg
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Rollin — come now. How could vegetarianism be the work of the Devil? Wouldn't the Devil be a flesh-eater? 😉 Ah, so that's what “remote viewing” is. Thank you for the clarification!
Chief — HAHAHAHAHA! Well, look at you. Hmmm. I think you may be hell-bound for having red hair, but not sure about that one.
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You would think spanking, which can lead to sub space, which can be a kind of OBO, would qualify?
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Sarah — exactly. However, I am stumped. OBO? Or Best Offer? Old Body Orgasm?
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Wow. Postmodernism, eh? I knew I was channeling the devil every time I choreographed like Merce Cunningham.
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Astral-projection–is that where you show movies of someone's really big butt?
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I totally agree that all of these could lead to demonic possession (if we're lucky), but yoga? Seriously? They think stretching will allow the devil to possess your soul? Why don't they say this about Zoomba or that awful stairmaster. Now THAT'S evil!
Cindy
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Oh,and congrats on the Chross!
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Sooo many ludicrous inclusions on this list. But the one that is fascinating in a way is the free masonry claim. Either the History or Biography channel featured stories on this “secret society.” In my state there are Shriner's Temples where they conduct ???? It is some club that prohibits members from divulging details. I know they allow their venues to be used for Halloween attractions and proceeds contribute to various fundraisers. WHAT? I don't know.
I just happen to LOVE Halloween. THE.BEST.HOLIDAY.EVER! 🙂
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I know about the Masons. My dad was a 32nd degree and my uncle was a 33rd degree and potentate, which is about as high up as you can go. They started out as real masons, the ones who work with brick and mortar, and stone masonry. It began hundreds of years ago and the masons had secrets of how they did their stone carving and such and that is why they formed the mason groups. Then it morphed into what they are today.
BTW, Tim Russert said on national TV when Bush and Kerry were running against each other that it didn't matter which one of them got in because they are both “Bonesmen.” They are also related. They are also cousins.
Another bit of true interesting information is that all of the presidents (not sure about the current one) have been related, albeit distantly in some cases. There was a gal in college that studied this and found it to be true. No, it is not a conspiracy theory. It is just an interesting fact.
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Yoga and vegetarianism got me too. WTF?
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Erica, if there is one word I worship its 'spanko'. To me it's a HEAVENLY word.
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Renee — how very demonic of you! 🙂
Mick — (snort) Not touching that one!
Cindy — yeah, Zumba should be the one they pick on. All those sexy moves are the Devil's work for sure!
Kelly — I don't have anything against Halloween, but I admit, I hate all that zombie crap. This whole Walking Dead/zombie craze makes me sick. But hey, I'm all about the candy!
Bobbie Jo — how on earth did people who work with stone morph into something that's considered demonic?
Lea — exactly. Stupid.
Six — works for me!
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Only record I heard played backwards was the flip side of 1910 Fruit Gum Company's “Indian Giver”. I forget what it was called but it was a version of ” Howdy Doody”.
Real sinful that!
John
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Speaking of Christmas, are you aware that Oliver Cromwell banned it in England? Called it the ” Pagan Feast.”
John
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Thanks for publishing this list. I'm alway short of ideas on what to get my nephew for Christmas, and a young fellow can only have some many bibles. But this has given me some great ideas. Amazon sells divining rods (with fast shipping for Primers) but that may not be “gateway” enough.
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John — Christmas banned? I wouldn't want to go that far, but I would be all for banning Christmas carols.
Anonymous — oh, no one can have too many bibles! If you stack them, you can put a bookshelf on 'em and store your porn. 🙂
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Hi Erica — I read that list and didn't understand all of them,but in my opinion of what I think is that,whoever is writing all this thinks a lot of things are sinful 😦 Which is STUPID! For example chocolate is sinful because it makes some people gain weight,and it has lots of sugar in it, UGH the key word is moderation 🙂 The 2 words that will NEVER be sinful to me are SPANKO and SPANKING 🙂 Hope I made some sense cause I am feeling very YUCKY today 😦 Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade
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Postmodernism??? I suppose regular Modernism is OK then.
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Of course the Devil is vegetarian, all horned animals are herbivores.
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Jade — basically, anything that's fun is sinful. Just remember that, and go ahead and have fun anyway. 🙂
Anonymous — or Pre-Modernism.
Anonymous2 — nope, just can't see it. The Devil consumes flesh. Rare. Or raw.
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