"What are you thinking?"
Anyone who has played with me, or knows even a little about me, knows that I am not a quiet bottom. But I’m not talking about the obvious (my big sassy mouth and all that comes out of it). I mean my sounds. The sounds I make when I’m beyond talking, when I’m getting into the zone.
When that absolutely perfect strike happens, when everything comes together (the right spot, the right sound, the right amount of impact), I have been known to let out something that’s a combination of a groan, a moan and a howl. It’s pure pain and pleasure interwoven. And even though my top doesn’t get to see my face, it looks something like this:
(The above is not a posed photo, it’s a screen capture from one of our videos. So that is a very real face.)
Steve is fascinated by this sound. “What are you thinking about when you do that? What’s going through your mind?” he asks.
I can’t answer. I say I don’t know.
“You’re the writer! You have the words for everything!” he protests.
Perhaps. But I can’t really articulate what I’m thinking at that moment. Because I’m not thinking. I’m purely feeling. For once, I’m completely out of my head and all is visceral. That sound comes from deep within my gut, not from my brain.
It’s kind of like trying to describe what you’re thinking when you’re having an orgasm. Because you’re not thinking. Well, I’m not, anyway. I’m thoroughly surrendering to the rush of feeling, riding the pleasure waves.
Can any of you describe what you’re thinking during a spanking, when you’ve gotten to the point where your mind shuts off, when the nattering and protesting and traffic cease and you’ve gone to a different place? Or are you like me, simply feeling, with no words to adequately describe your state of being?
I can use adjectives, like the well-worn “intense.” But I cannot for the life of me articulate where the moan comes from.