Those awkward family moments
This post was inspired by a friend on FetLife, who wrote about a random memory from her childhood. She was in the back seat, and her parents were up front, gossiping about another couple. Apparently, the husband spanked the wife, and they thought this was “terrible.” The child then piped up from the back, “Unless she liked it.”
Imagine the shock. (“Where did that come from?? Whose child is this?”)
Ah, if only they knew. Anyway, in this season of family togetherness (tongue firmly planted in cheek there), I got to thinking about those moments many of us have had with parents, siblings, etc. regarding our kinks.
My mother was the queen of TMI, in all aspects. She had no filters, and she used to discuss her sex life with me wayyyy too openly for my comfort. On the one hand, it was kind of neat having a mother who wasn’t uptight and prudish about sex, but on the other hand, I’d find myself thinking LalalalaIdon’twanttohearthislalala when she told me certain things. I’ll spare you those details.
Years ago, she and my stepdad used to watch some talk show on cable, hosted by Bob Berkowitz — I’d never seen it, but it was all about sex and people’s sex lives. Mom and M were fascinated by this show and my mother was constantly telling me about what they’d just seen and heard, and what people were into. I guess the show was pretty open and graphic.
Anyway, one afternoon, Mom and I were out having coffee, and she was going on and on as usual about the Berkowitz show, and what all those naughty people were doing. She talked about the porn, the toys, the bondage, etc., and I basically sat and squirmed. Then she said musingly, “You know what I really don’t get? That whole spanking thing.”
I damn near choked on my sip of coffee.
“I mean,” she continued, “that’s pain! Who wants pain? What’s sexy about that?”
Oh, Mother. I do not want to have this conversation with you. So I just shrugged and said I didn’t know. But I was dying to mutter, “Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it, Ma.”
Looks like my proclivities aren’t genetic, at least not from my mother’s side! I wonder about my dad sometimes. I mean, he led a pretty wild Hollywood life. And when he passed away, I did find the writings of the Marquis de Sade among his books. Then again, he was an avid reader and had hundreds of books. It could have been quite meaningless.
On a side note, I also found a t-shirt in one of his drawers, and printed on the front was “Twenty-five years of S&M.” You can imagine my reaction to this. What the hell was that about?? I finally had the courage to ask my former stepmother about it. She laughed.
Turns out those shirts were printed up when Dad’s best friend and his wife celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Their names? Sheila and Mike.
I never did have the nerve to ask S about whether or not my dad was into anything kinky. I guess some things are best left unknown.
How about you guys? Anyone have any similar family stories to share?