Just because

I’m always happy to see Steve. But sometimes, I really, really need to Steve. Just because.

Because he is so much more than my top. He is my friend and my confidant, and at times, my rock. Because sometimes, life feels like shifting sand under my feet, and I find stability under his hand, or in his arms. 

I don’t like ceding control, or showing weakness. But he gives me permission with his presence. 

John and I often talk about what makes a perfect scene. He says, for him, an ideal scene is a blend of physical, mental, and sexual. The physical activity needs to be present and handled well, but without the head space, it’s just pain. Also without the sexual arousal, it’s just pain.

I modify that a little, I think. Maybe it’s just semantics. But I prefer physical, emotional, and either sexual or sensual. Emotional, for me, encompasses so much more than mental — not just my head space, but all the feelings I’m experiencing. And while some would say that any spanking is sexual, simply by its nature (intimate contact, bare flesh, etc.), I don’t always think of it as sexual, especially in party play. But sensual it is for sure. The touch, the caress, the slap, the hand in my hair. The sensuality of the varying touches feeds my skin hunger.

Today, after talking for a while, I decided to set the mood by surprising him with Secretary — he’d never seen it, and I picked up a copy on Amazon. I know the scene community is divided on this film and I won’t belabor all the old arguments — the movie is 12 years old, after all. But happily, Steve loved it. 

Slight tangent here — I have a question, for those who have seen the movie (more than once, as I have) and remember specific scenes. Do you recall the part at the end when Lee is sitting at Mr. Grey’s desk in the wedding dress, refusing to move, and is slowly growing delirious with hunger and thirst as three days pass? Her fiancé came to see her in the beginning, and that was real. But remember how a parade of people came in to see her as she sat there in her stupor? Her mother, her father, her doctor, her brother-in-law, the paralegal, Grey’s ex, and a strange woman with a stack of books on feminism? Were those people’s visits for real, or were they in Lee’s imagination? I tend to believe the latter.

Anyway… we had a deliciously intense session after that, one where I felt completely in submissive mode. (Must have been the movie.) At one point, I remember him rubbing his palm over my lower thighs, teasing, making it seem as if he were going to strike me there. Which would hurt like hell. But all I could think was, “I accept. I’m ready if that’s what you choose to do.”

He didn’t. But I thought he would.

He liked the dress I was wearing, and wanted pictures of it.

The skirt portion is short, with a sheer, floor-length covering. 

I’d mostly faded by the time we got to these, but it’s OK.

“By the way,” he said after the film. “You can be a bad girl all you want, but no cockroaches, OK?” I assured him that’s not my style. I can’t get near one of those things without screaming like a girl. No worms, either. 

Oh, and look what he brought for me:

No special occasion, no particular reason. Just because. 🙂

Yes, really

John and I were in the mall on Saturday night, picking up some things for him. It’s been a long time since he felt good enough to walk around a mall, so we took full advantage. While in the men’s underwear department, getting t-shirts, I saw this and just had to take a photo.

Yes, really. Spanx for men. (Click on the photo for a larger version.)

Y’all have heard of Spanx, right? (How could you not?) Famous compression undergarments for women, so we can eliminate all signs of imperfection in our tight dresses and slinky clothes, pack that cellulite in like sausage casing, and look like movie stars. We can’t breathe, all that compression can actually cause organ damage over time, but what price vanity? 

But… for men?? This I did not know.

“Firms Chest”! “Narrows Waistline”! “Targeted Compression”! Oh, and see that circle thingamajig in the lower right? Here’s a slightly blurry, but still readable closeup of that image:

Yup, that’s a Gut Gauge. You can choose your level of compression power. Apparently, this package contains the Turbo Trimmer.

This package should come with the fine print: “Oh, you are so not getting laid tonight if you wear this.”

Stop the madness, people. Put down the deep-fried bacon pizza and the triple mocha latte, extra-whip, and get to the gym if you don’t like what you see in the mirror. I guaran-damn-tee it will work better than packing yourself into these things. And, guys? In the 1950s, would you have worn a girdle? No? I rest my case. This is carrying metrosexual too far.

(P.S. Any of you grin and giggle inwardly whenever you say Spanx? Yup, me too.)

Thursday miscellanea

Note to self: After working out Monday, then engaging in intense spanking scenes both Monday and Tuesday, working out on Wednesday was probably not the best idea.

My body hates me right now. It did last night, too. But it was a good hurt, at least. 

It was good to see Steve on Tuesday. It had been two weeks, so we had a lot to catch up on. I told him all about my fun with Pandora and Alex and Paul, and he told me about Coachella. I was tired and a bit tender, so we kept it to hand spanking, no implements this time. But it was a hard one, one that had me hollering into the couch cushion toward the end. He sensed that I just wanted to be held, so he said, “We don’t have to do anything else tonight if you don’t want to. It’s up to you.” Usually I’m up for as much play as possible, but not this time. So we just relaxed, cuddled and talked some more.

I made him laugh with all the naughty interpretations of the various religious holidays at this time of year. (And yes, he is a practicing Catholic.) He wanted to take my Sharpie and write on my butt cheeks: “Ass Wednesday + Palm Sunday = Happy (K)Easter.” “Um… no,” I said. “I don’t think I have enough butt for all that!” “I’d write small,” he insisted. But fortunately, he forgot about all that.

For those who have been asking, John is stable these days. He’s sleeping a bit better, the leg swelling is under control, and he’s still chipping away at the list of things that need to be done. And he’s prioritizing himself and his health, which is new. Last weekend, he got one of those typical last-minute notices his family is famous for. We went to his sister’s restaurant for a late lunch on Saturday, and she announced, “Easter dinner at [his other sister’s] house tomorrow at 4:00!” Oh, really? When was his other sister planning on letting him know about that? And of course, if he said yes, then he’d no doubt get a call from that sister, suckering him into playing chauffeur for their mother, which is exactly what she did last Christmas (when he got a similar last-minute invitation). I braced myself, setting my teeth, waiting to hear him say OK, knowing it would throw off his whole Sunday routine — and then I heard him say, “Yeah… well, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” I thought maybe the next day he’d change his mind, but he didn’t go. I had to restrain myself from squealing with glee. Those asshats! Where do they get off, tossing him these zero-hour notices, like he has no life and he’s just waiting for their crumbs? Meh.

At brunch on Sunday, I asked him if he felt sad about the Easter thing. He just shrugged. “Nah… I’d rather go home and take a nap.” If it was bothering him, he didn’t let on. I know it hurts him sometimes, deep down, that his family didn’t turn out to be what he thought it would be. Which is why I’m relieved that I let go of that ideal years ago. Who needs that kind of heartbreak, really?

And finally, just because this is so effing ridiculous and made me laugh like crazy (and I found it on Facebook, of all places), I’m sharing this with you.

You’re welcome. Happy Thursday.

EDIT: Since today’s blog was a hodgepodge, here’s another random item I’m tossing in. Let’s have a show of hands: Who’d like to see this asshole’s cattle prod put to a very special use?

"Dreams" shoot!

Plus lots more fun with Alex and Pandora, and Paul too!

Pandora was shooting with Clare Fonda and others yesterday, so I came by Alex and Paul’s house at 5:00 to hang out with them until Pandora returned, which was around 6:00. We chatted for a bit, then got down to the business of shooting. I say “business” tongue in cheek, because for me, it’s pure joy.

We decided to go with Kelly’s suggestion: Paul’s a workaholic, and I’m his woefully neglected mate, trying desperately to get his attention by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When that fails and I can’t get him to tear his eyes away from the damned report he’s brought home, I tear up the report. I then get plenty of attention, but not the kind I wanted.

What a fun scene that was. I don’t know when Pandora will be releasing it on Dreams of Spanking, or what it will be called, so I don’t want to give too many details away. Suffice it to say that we had some spirited dialogue and lots of spanking — hand, hairbrush and strap. I had never played with Paul before, but I’d always wanted to; I’d watched him with others, I had always liked him, so it felt like a very natural progression and we bantered with ease. 

Here I am, in typical Erica “righteous indignation” mode. And will you look at Paul’s face!! Yum!

I had misunderstood one of Pandora’s directions: she’d asked us to shoot another minute of hairbrush spanking footage, with “no talking.” But by that, she meant no pauses for dialogue, just action. I took that literally, and I was dead silent for close to a full minute. After that flurry, Pandora said, “Erica, it’s OK to say ‘ow’ and fuss,” and I cried, “Oh, no! I thought you wanted me to be quiet!” We all had a good laugh, as it was probably the first time in my filming history that no sound came out of me for that long! I was game to reshoot the minute, complete with fussing.

I was grateful to be in scanty lingerie, as I quickly grew warm and sweaty with the action and with the A/C being turned off. But otherwise, I was exhilarated, and sorry to see the clip come to an end! They turned the A/C back on, Paul got me a large tumbler of water without my even asking, and we shot some stills before I put my clothes back on. After that, Alex and Pandora shot a brief scene for Northern Spanking, with Paul on camera. I sat and watched, and somehow, I managed to keep myself from laughing hysterically at some of their dialogue. But I had to clamp both hands over my mouth!

After that, we sat around chatting for a while, and then it was time for a late dinner. I suggested Jerry’s Deli, even though it wasn’t super close, because they stay open past midnight, and it was now about 9:30 — plus they have a huge menu and there would be something to please everyone. They agreed, and we headed there. Paul insisted on paying for my dinner, which I thought was lovely. We had a great time, eating and yakking and enjoying that post-shoot euphoria we all seem to get. Our dishes varied: breakfast for Alex, salad and sweet potato fries for Pandora, cheesesteak sandwich for Paul and a bowl of soup (with wonderful fresh rye bread) for me. I was starting to wind down and get sleepy, but wasn’t ready for the evening to end just yet.

Back at Alex and Paul’s, we had a glass of wine and talked some more. I need to mention Alex’s kitties. She has two, both of them sweet, beautiful boys. One of them is an angel kitty — very mellow, loves everyone, loves to be petted. The other? Well, he definitely has his own agenda. He too loves attention, but it has to be on his terms, when he wants it! If you try to give him attention when he doesn’t feel like it, he has his ways of most emphatically letting you know he is displeased and you should cease and desist from annoying him. 🙂 

For example, at the end of the night, Alex, Pandora and I were all sprawled on the bed, and Mr. Fussy jumped up on the bed to join us. He made his way over to my left side and curled up against me, so I started to pet him and scratch his ears. He snuggled and purred, rubbing against me, and every time I stopped petting, he nudged my hand for more. So adorable! This went on for several minutes. Until His Highness decided he was over it, and in a split second, he reared up his head, bit my hand (not hard) and jumped off the bed in a huff. Well! I had been dismissed! I then sat up and Alex went to get me a lint roller, so I could clean off the mass quantities of kitty fur that was adorning my clothes all down my left side. I really should have taken a couple of pictures of the cats, since they’re both so cute and photogenic. But there will be other opportunities.

It was midnight — Alex and Paul were marvelous hosts, but I knew they were tired, and that I really should head out so everyone could get some sleep. So hard to go, though! We all shared massive hugs, and Pandora took a selfie of the two of us.

Such lovely people, all three of them. ♥

Busy with work today, but of course I had to take some time out to catch up here. And in a couple of hours, Steve is coming over. I’m definitely getting more than my usual amount of attention this week! 🙂 Makes up for not going to BBW, which is this weekend.

Alex & Paul, love you and see you soon, I hope! Pandora, you are amazing and I’m so very happy I got to meet you, work with you and hang out with you. Please do come back to us again soon!

Yes, I’m going to hell

But at least I’ll be with my friends. 😀

Being that it’s Easter weekend, I couldn’t resist sharing these tidbits I found. (Warning: Blasphemy ahead.)

Oh boy, fun for the whole family! I think I’d pass, though. I do not need to find Easter eggs that badly.

Everybody sing along! “It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A…”

EDIT: I just saw this, and it begged to be added. To this, I only have one question: WTF??

Lest I be accused of only lampooning the Christian/Catholic faith, rest assured, I’m an equal opportunity offender. Found these Passover cartoons as well:

Actually, matzo really isn’t that bad. Bland and boring, yes, but at least it’s not gross, like those disgusting beige blobs (AKA gefilte fish) you’ve heard me bitch about in the past.

Don’t believe me? Here ya go — validation:

At least the foodies will never be allowed to wrap it in bacon. But if some sweet/savory combo freak ever tries covering it with chocolate, I am leaving the planet.

Whatever you celebrate, have a great weekend, y’all.

Fun with Alex and Pandora

About a week ago, the lovely Pandora Blake came from across the pond to her first California visit. She’s been a very busy bee while here, shooting up a storm of videos and having fun adventures while staying with Alex Reynolds and Paul Kennedy. She and I had never met, but we’ve been online buddies for a long time and always hoped we’d get a chance to hang out in person.

And that chance finally happened. 😀 She’d messaged me on Fet, saying she’d be here until the middle of next week, and would I like to meet? Absolutely, I said. So today, she, Alex and I met for lunch at the oft-mentioned Aroma Café. When we were at last face to face and hugging, it was as if I’d known her for years. 

We had to stand in line for a long time to order, because it was a beautiful sunny day and my favorite hangout was packed. Alex and I had waxed enthusiastic about the place, and when Pandora saw the menu, she announced that she wanted everything on it. But she hadn’t seen anything yet.

The bakery case. The rows and rows and shelves after shelves of cakes and treats. She snapped a shot of Alex and me crouching down and ogling the sweets…

…and we vowed we’d share something or another after lunch.

So much fun! The food was awesome as always, and the company was fabulous. Lots of laughs and girly chat, which was just what I needed. For those who know me well, you know that when I get animated, I talk with my hands. A lot. And of course, this afternoon I managed to knock over my glass of water, all over the table. Fortunately, we snatched up our purses before they got wet, so it was just a matter of mopping up the water. But shortly after that, I flapped my hand again, and this time I knocked over the metal pole thingamajig with our table number on it. Sheesh! What a klutz! At least I didn’t knock my water over a second time. 🙂

And then, it was dessert time. I stayed at the table so we wouldn’t lose it, dispatching Alex and Pandora back inside and telling them I was OK with whatever they chose, as long as it was something with chocolate (which would still leave the number of possibilities high). They did not disappoint, having ordered a slice of a chocolate cake with ganache and raspberry jam between the layers, frosted on the outside with white chocolate frosting and then plastered with chocolate jimmies. 

Did I say slice? Make that a slab. Here we are, about to dive into it:

Would you believe that, even with the three of us, we couldn’t finish it all? (Although what was leftover was mostly frosting.) Soooo freaking good.

Pandora told me she’s always hoped for an opportunity to shoot with me, but we were never in the same place at the same time. She knew this was last-minute, but would I like to shoot something for her site before she left CA? Would I! So, if all goes according to plan, this coming Monday I will be heading to Alex’s house to shoot for Pandora’s Dreams of Spanking site, with Paul topping me. How cool is that? 

Alex had to head off to take care of some stuff, so Pandora stayed on with me, and I agreed to drive her back to Alex’s after we were done chatting. We stayed another 45 minutes or so, and then I took her back, getting to see Alex and Paul’s place for the first time (and their kitties!!).

So Pandora suggested shooting something a little on the edgy side, with a take-down of sorts, a struggle, maybe some bondage — Paul will be a bit of a bad guy, but I will definitely be deserving whatever I get. Anyone have any thoughts on scenarios? We’re open! This should be fun — I haven’t shot anything edgy-ish since I did “The Villain Strikes Erica Scott” three years ago.

Thank you, ladies, for such a great afternoon! Can’t wait to see you again on Monday.

In other news this week, there was a lot of buzz about our lunar eclipse last Monday. I didn’t see it, but I have seen pictures of it. It’s pretty fascinating, seeing the “blood moon” — the moon appearing to be a deep shade of red.

Although to be honest, I’m not quite sure why it’s such a big deal to see a red moon. After all, some of us see red moons on a regular basis.

Not me this week, though. Screw that! However, next week for sure. 🙂