Yeah, I know that’s not a word. It should be.
I think I’ve mentioned before that John is fond of giving me a swat (or two) in public places. Sometimes while we’re walking down the street, or in a parking garage. Oftentimes it’s in some kind of store, when I’m leaning over to get something off a shelf. I’m sure our hi-jinks have turned up on many a security camera.
You know, it’s weird. As open as I am about the spanking thing, I am embarrassed when I get swatted in Vanilla Q. Public. (I guess that’s the point, huh?) I immediately dart my head around to see if anyone saw us. We’ve gotten some smiles, some snickers, even a couple of whistles and catcalls from cars driving by. One woman called out, “I saw that!” But most of the time, no one sees (that I’m aware of), which is my preference. Silly, right? Considering how open I am about this and all. But I don’t want vanilla strangers gawking at me.
Last Sunday, we were at CVS Pharmacy, and I was reaching for John’s shampoo. As he is wont to do, he gave me a good smack on my right cheek. “John!” I snapped, straightening briefly and looking around. Then I went for the shampoo again. “I’m sorry, I meant this one,” John said, and smacked the left.
“Stoppit!!” I hissed, turning around, and then I saw an older woman walking toward us. Oh, crap. She was smiling, so of course she saw. But I didn’t expect the following — she went right up to John and said, “You’re embarrassing her. Stop that.” HA!
John, always quick on the uptake, came right back with, “It’s all her fault! She started it.”
To which our friend shook her head, gave him an “You’re so full of it” smile and replied, “Oh, don’t even go there with me. I know better.” Then she walked on down the aisle.
I didn’t stick around to watch John feign indignation… I was too busy stumbling around the corner, laughing my butt off. She sure told him!
How do you guys feel about public swattery?
Have a great weekend, y’all. To my friends who are currently at Crimson Moon, I am freaking jealous and miss you like mad and can’t wait to see you at the end of the month!