Tuesday of Pain

Dunh-dunh-DUNNNHH! Doesn’t that sound ominous? It was.

So here is Steve’s convoluted Top Logic. He will not be here next week, as he’s going hiking/camping with his son before school starts. And in two weeks, it will be the Tuesday right before Shadow Lane, so we will have to play lightly that day. Therefore, yesterday’s session needed to be extra hard. Right?

Yeah. I thought it sucked too.

OK, so maybe I’d better tone down the smart-assery and sass, I thought to myself. No dice. He did everything he could to provoke my feisty side, including one of my pet peeves — repeating the same @#$%ing phrase over and over. This time, it was “young lady.” Which I usually like, but maybe just once in a scold-y way. Not fifteen times. 

“Enough already with the ‘young lady’!” I snapped.

SMACK to the thigh. “Excuse me? Did you say something?

Aaaaand we were off. Damn that man… he knows my Achilles heel all too well. I can kick, squirm, rage in frustration and yell “STOPPIT!” He’ll just laugh, say “No-o-o-o…” and do it again. 

(Just a reminder to everyone else out there who might play with me at a future party: Steve is the only top who gets to do that. Don’t get any big ideas! :-Þ )

We moved to the ottoman. I was ready for him to bring it.

I love that Cane-iac OTK strap. But the Lickin’ Stick? Not so much.

He patiently, quietly, and firmly kept going, the hard blows juxtaposed with gentle and kind words, encouraging me to take just a little more. I reached the point of “Oh-my-God-I-can’t-take-anymore” and then went beyond it. He eased off a bit, let me catch my breath, then resumed. Crash went the heart-shaped paddle, and I burst into tears. And there it was, that flow of emotion, that release, that inexplicable trust.

How does one explain this to people who don’t understand? Here was this man causing me pain, and I couldn’t feel any safer with him. He is my protector. His pain delivers me.

As you can see, my thighs got some attention this time.

I need this to tide me over for two weeks. Think I can make it! (Ha! Probably not even two days. But it was a valiant effort.)

I felt at peace yesterday, despite the pervasive sadness all over the media due to this week’s events. But I don’t want to talk about that now. I will post my thoughts in a future blog. For now, I want to stay in my bubble for just a little while longer.

Tonight: dinner with SpankCake and Alex! Win!

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