Why I love Jillian Keenan
For many reasons, but to name a couple: Because she is a mainstream writer who has the bravery to speak for us kinky folk. Because her latest writing is a brilliant piece for Slate entitled Spanking is Great for Sex, Which is Why it’s Grotesque for Parenting.
In the off chance that you’re not familiar with Ms. Keenan, she is a journalist who outed herself as a spanko in the New York Times, here. I don’t say this about too many people, but she is one of my heroes. We follow each other on Twitter, and she once tweeted to me that if I’m ever in New York, we should hang out. Now that was a compliment indeed.
I am probably not the first spanko blogger today to call attention to her latest piece, nor will I be the last. But I don’t care; I just want to spread the word. Ms. Keenan has voiced an opinion that I have thought for years, have hinted at in my writings, but never articulated so bluntly and perfectly as she did.
Spanking children is grotesque. It’s wrong on just about every level I can think of. What we do as adults is consensual, plain and simple. A child doesn’t get to consent. That in itself is enough of a reason to not do it, but when you throw in the physiological and sexual ramifications, as Ms. Keenan does, then you really have a case against it. So let’s review: spanking causes a child fear, physical and emotional pain (it’s fucking humiliating), and it throws in a confusing sexual connotation too? It’s outlawed in certain states and in Sweden. Why is this ban not worldwide already?
Ms. Keenan is very brave. She is already getting major backlash for this article — from enraged parents, from the fundamentalists, from the anti-kinks, and from the just plain stupid. Don’t bother reading the comments attached to her piece, unless you want your head to explode. She has been tweeting a random assortment of negative messages she’s received, gems such as:
“I was spanked and I turned out fine!”
“Football players tap butts!”
“Spankings are about power, not sexuality.”
“Foot rubs can be sexual!” (WTF??)
“People spank butts because they’re conveniently padded!”
And my favorite, which looks like one of my CHoS entries:
“GOD! You think SPANKING is SEXUAL??? U r SICKKK! You NEED TO be LOCKET up!!!”
But for every negative comment she receives, for all the hate mail and condemnation, I know she will in turn reap much praise, and deservedly so.
Brava, Jillian Keenan. Thank you for being our voice once again.