No, not the snowman. Please. It’s in the 80s here.
I’m talking about this Frosty — “Frosty the Paddle,” aka “Frosty the Naughty Stick,” a holiday special from Cane-iac.
As you can see, it’s Lexan, but it has a sort of frosted, snowy looking texture to it. And yes, there are three jingle bells at the end. Very festive.
The good folks at Cane-iac asked if I would like to try this little holiday treat, and I said I’d be honored. (I didn’t ask what it was made of, but I assumed that they wouldn’t make a holiday implement out of rubber — that would be just so wrong — so I figured it would be OK.)
It arrived on Monday, just in time for my visit with Steve yesterday. It had been two weeks, so I was more than ready to play, even though my healing self is still putting some restrictions up. We did some OTK for the first time since before my surgery; I propped my head up onto pillows and folded my arms under my head so my face wasn’t smooshed. Not ideal, but it sure felt good. At one point, I sucked in an extra deep breath and gasped, “Damn, I’m so sensitive!” Steve paused and asked, “Do you want me to go lighter?” While I pondered that, he added, “Too bad! and continued at the same intensity. Hummpph.
After that, we moved to the ottoman, where I once again propped onto my elbows over the side, keeping my head raised. I’m getting good at this, as you can see from the confident smirk.
I wasn’t smirking for long. OW.
The Frosty Paddle/Stick sorta looks like the Strictly Licking Spanking Stick that I hate with all my heart and soul, but it feels very different. It has a bit of flex to it, and while the wooden stick is thuddy, Frosty has a bit more of a bite and a sting to it. But it’s powerful. Steve wasn’t going that hard on me and we didn’t play super long with it, since I’m still erring on the side of caution. But it made a statement! (and a whole lot of jingling)
Here it is, in all its glory:
I searched the Cane-iac site, but could not find a page for Frosty. But it’s a very new item, so hopefully there will be an order page for it soon.
So for the rest of the holiday season, whenever you hear the song “Frosty the Snowman,” replace the lyrics with these:
And I’ll say “Don’t look at ME!”
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.