Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

A quick update

It’s 9:00 p.m. I left the hospital at 8:00, after being there since 11:00 this morning. John came through the surgery, but it took longer and was more difficult than they thought it would be, because of the extent of damage to the valve and the effect all that strain had on the rest of his heart. However, they were able to repair the valve, and didn’t replace it. The doctor couldn’t resist saying, “He should have done this a couple of years ago.” You think? Ugh. Maybe he would have if you guys hadn’t dicked him around for so long, insisting he get a replacement when he wanted a repair. You wanted to go the easy route, and he wouldn’t let you.

I basically sat in the waiting room and didn’t move unless I had to use the restroom. I waited and waited and waited. Steve came to be with me for a couple of hours, and then John’s brother came around 6:00. The doctor had come to see me about 2:45, and told me that I could see John in about 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Three and a half hours later, I still hadn’t seen John and no one was telling me anything. For a while, I just sat in that damn chair and bawled. I felt so powerless.

Finally, a nurse came to talk to us, and then the doctor came again. He said they are having trouble getting John’s heart to stabilize, so they had to put him on something called a balloon pump and a respirator. And they had to sedate him so he would keep still. He will be in ICU for the next couple of days until things stabilize and he can breathe on his own, and then they will move him to a regular room. After that, he’ll be in the hospital for another 5-7 days.

We got to see him. Christ. He was hooked up to all sorts of stuff with a million cables and wires, and he was unconscious. I told him I loved him anyway, even though he couldn’t hear me.

Can you believe this mess??


Insult to injury — the fucking parking cost $16.

So. I am home. I had a bowl of cereal at 9:00 a.m. and a bag of pretzels at 3:30 p.m. Guess I need to eat something, huh? I am deliriously tired, but wired at the same time. Tomorrow morning, I will call the hospital and see how he is, and begin the vigil once again. For now, I hope I can sleep.

Thank you to everyone — for all the tweets, the comments on Facebook and FetLife, the texts, the emails. I will do my best to answer everyone individually. But for now, I need to shut off for a while.

More later.

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22 thoughts on “A quick update

  1. Please don’t feel you need to answer us. I just want you to know you’re both in my thoughts.


  2. Just like Mija said– and thank you very much for taking the time to update us. As they’re taking care of John, don’t forget to eat well and sleep and all that stuff yourself! Love!


  3. SpankCake on said:

    We’re here when you’re ready… take care of yourself, and when you’re ready, let us take care of you. xo


  4. Hugs Erica,

    We are all thinking of you both.

    Don’t forget to take care of yourself.



  5. Dear Erica – – Don’t be intimidated by the room full of gadgets… Valve surgery is very intense, but patients usually recover quite quickly – you’ll see DRAMATIC changes and improvement in him over the next few days, and the people in CICU are super heroes… You take care of yourself as you are going to be in it for the long haul over the next few weeks, and you have to take care of yourself first, then be there for him… Praying for you and him… Dale


  6. Like everyone has said, take care of yourself. Then you can help take care of John and let us all try to do what we can to take care of you both. Love you guys!


  7. Hang in there, Erica. I’ll be thinking of you and John today.



  8. Still an Admirer on said:

    I’m glad the surgery is done and John is on his way to being his old self again. Thanks so much for taking the time to update everyone. Replies, forget about it! Like everyone before, you gotta take care of you too. John is in good hands and on the road to recovery.



  9. Ariel on said:

    Thinking about you both this week.


  10. @VillainSpank on said:

    So relieved, but still holding my breath.

    I am reminded of a young intern who told me that it was his job to make me live longer, but not to save my life.

    Of course, that’s a general thought..since I see it’s still in general practice. 😦


  11. MaMa Blue on said:

    Love you both!


  12. Erica, this must be really tough – to feel concerned, but not being able to communicate. Here’s a hug. And other one. Well, take as many as you can use 😉
    Oh, and eat healthily please. Will help to be of help. Yes, I know you know. ;-(


  13. Just to say, be brave, be strong. Best wishes to you both.


  14. Tell John if he’s not up and spanking you in three days, we’re all disappointed in him. 🙂

    Glad the operation was a success. Next step is for him to recover, and the one after that is for you to recover.

    That picture makes me realize how incredible modern medical technology has become.


  15. Thank you so much, everyone. As of this morning, John is a bit more stabilized, but still being kept sedated. I will head to the hospital later this morning. And yes, I did sleep.


  16. BlueMark on said:

    Thanks for the update. Good to hear that he is more stabilized! Good also to hear that you got some sleep. Remember to take care of yourself, too.


  17. poppamark on said:

    I have been through this with both parents and two brothers. The waiting is horribly hard. They do not seem to concern them self with those who wait except in my one brothers case a nurses aid kept checking on us and a recovery room nurse really went above and beyond to keep us informed.

    Now hopefully come recovery which will be slow and painful at first; but it WILL get better. I will say a prayer for you both and be here if I can help in any way.

    Remember to take care of yourself too!


  18. Downunderdon on said:

    Please take care of yourself as well. Blessings


  19. Hi Erica — I read your comment on here that John is a bit more stabilized, that is GREAT news 🙂 You are both in my thoughts and prayers.Sending much Love and hugs. I agree that the pic you took of the iv bags and machines is a mess 😦 I go to the hospital a lot, but I don’t like them they scare me.


  20. BlueMark — I was able to take a nap today AND work out. Trying very hard to keep myself sane and prepared.

    Poppa — yeah, the waiting sucked. I have to cut them some slack yesterday; they were extremely busy with John. When I walked into ICU and saw the absolute maze of tubes, wires, monitors, bags, machines, and God knows what all, I realized they were giving him all the focus they had. Today, they were very nice to me and quite informative.

    Don — will do my best.

    Jade — I know you see a lot of that stuff, honey. I’m sorry.


  21. Just to reiterate what everyone else has said and remember to take a breath and comfort that positive energy (in the form of thoughts & prayers) all has the same positive intent and goal. Hang in there.


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