A quick update
It’s 9:00 p.m. I left the hospital at 8:00, after being there since 11:00 this morning. John came through the surgery, but it took longer and was more difficult than they thought it would be, because of the extent of damage to the valve and the effect all that strain had on the rest of his heart. However, they were able to repair the valve, and didn’t replace it. The doctor couldn’t resist saying, “He should have done this a couple of years ago.” You think? Ugh. Maybe he would have if you guys hadn’t dicked him around for so long, insisting he get a replacement when he wanted a repair. You wanted to go the easy route, and he wouldn’t let you.
I basically sat in the waiting room and didn’t move unless I had to use the restroom. I waited and waited and waited. Steve came to be with me for a couple of hours, and then John’s brother came around 6:00. The doctor had come to see me about 2:45, and told me that I could see John in about 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Three and a half hours later, I still hadn’t seen John and no one was telling me anything. For a while, I just sat in that damn chair and bawled. I felt so powerless.
Finally, a nurse came to talk to us, and then the doctor came again. He said they are having trouble getting John’s heart to stabilize, so they had to put him on something called a balloon pump and a respirator. And they had to sedate him so he would keep still. He will be in ICU for the next couple of days until things stabilize and he can breathe on his own, and then they will move him to a regular room. After that, he’ll be in the hospital for another 5-7 days.
We got to see him. Christ. He was hooked up to all sorts of stuff with a million cables and wires, and he was unconscious. I told him I loved him anyway, even though he couldn’t hear me.
Can you believe this mess??
Insult to injury — the fucking parking cost $16.
So. I am home. I had a bowl of cereal at 9:00 a.m. and a bag of pretzels at 3:30 p.m. Guess I need to eat something, huh? I am deliriously tired, but wired at the same time. Tomorrow morning, I will call the hospital and see how he is, and begin the vigil once again. For now, I hope I can sleep.
Thank you to everyone — for all the tweets, the comments on Facebook and FetLife, the texts, the emails. I will do my best to answer everyone individually. But for now, I need to shut off for a while.