Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

He’s home

John was discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon. I waited at home to get the word from him, and while I was there, I admit I had a bit of a panic attack. He’s not ready. Hell, I’m not ready. So all I could do as I waited was text/email friends and try to find my strength. I would have gone to the hospital to wait, but John had warned me that one of his sisters finally showed up (nice; he goes into the hospital on Tuesday and she doesn’t contact him or visit him until Sunday?), and I didn’t want to see her, so I waited at home.

When I got the call, I just moved into action mode.

Drove to the hospital. Picked up his medications at the pharmacy and spent several minutes with the doc going over them all. Naturally, they all had different instructions — different times of day, some need food, some don’t need food, one needs to be taken with the other, blah blah blah. Went up to his room and packed his stuff, talked to the nurse about the mobile unit that will be coming to his house to draw blood every other day and check his vitals. She took out the final IV and we were good to go.

Took him home, got him settled, took all his towels to go launder them. The nurse said he needed a clean towel every time he showered, no reusing. His washer/dryer are downstairs, and he’s not supposed to go up or down stairs, so I will be doing his laundry for a while. Of course, when I got in there, I could not figure out for the life of me how to work his old and very un-user-friendly washer. I know I sound like an idiot, but I absolutely could not get that damn thing to work. It turned out he’d shut off the water, and he had to call directions to me over the balcony how to turn it back on, but I kept turning spigots and nothing was happening. Meltdown #2.

Finally got that working. Tried to organize his meds, but there were so many, it was hopeless, and we ended up snapping at each other. He needed pill organizers, which I’d need to get at the pharmacy. So I went out to the pharmacy and two different markets to get him groceries, and then back to the pharmacy because I’d forgotten to buy the anti-bacterial soap. Back to his house, unpacked everything, put the towels in the dryer, gave him some food. Then IΒ spent about an hour (I’m not kidding) organizing all the meds. This isn’t even all of them:

2015-03-29_21-17-36_740

And this is what I ended up with:

2015-03-29_21-16-55_891

Four separate organizers, each labeled with a post-it about when to take them. This is for one week. Each Sunday when I’m there, I will do this. It will be easier next time, I’m thinking.

John is supposed to hug a pillow to his chest whenever he coughs, to keep everything in there from getting too jarred. I kept catching him without the pillow and coughing. It made me nuts. I tried to give him his meds and he questioned everything. Had to show him the bottles so he could see I was giving him the right things. I had to coax him to take Imodium, even though he’d been in the bathroom countless times for the past couple of days. He’s not the best of patients, and I’m a crap nurse. So there were tense moments.

It was nearly 11:00 PM when I left. John was fed, had taken his meds (even a pain pill, which he’s been resisting as well), had clean towels, had everything he needed. This morning, the mobile hospital unit would visit him. His neighbors, who work at home, will be checking on him.

I still needed to get my own groceries, so I was in the market at 11:30. I then realized I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since 11:00 that morning. Not good. I got home, drank water, ate. Caught up with emails and texts. Crashed.

Today, I am a zombie. I think John is actually doing better than I am. Again, not good. I need to get my shit together.

John was sweet. He said I did great, that everything got done, he’s home, he’s in one piece, he has everything he needs. He claims I was “a little nervous.” I said no, I was hysterical. I yelled. I cried. I was awful, and I’m so ashamed.

No gym today. I have work to do, and I need to decompress and be quiet. I will probably go see him tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone for the continued concern. Please continue to hold good thoughts.

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19 thoughts on “He’s home

  1. I hope John can still have some dinner in addition to that stack of drugs, so that you can spoil him – and yourself. Here, a dose of positive energy again!

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  2. You have done wonderfully, Erica! I’m glad he is home and doing well! You are both still in my thoughts. πŸ™‚

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  3. Ariel on said:

    It’s almost less stressful to be the patient than to be where you are. You’ve doing great. Especially with all those pills to organize – man that’s a lot. He’ll need to hug a pillow to keep from rattling with all those pills. Thinking good thoughts – sounds like he’s on the mend.

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  4. Richard on said:

    As a mear blog fallower for a few years i wish you and you love a very speedy recovery

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  5. You are doing everything just right, even with a few tense moments thrown in. In addition to organizing meds, doing laundry, going shopping, and coordinating things with his doctors/nurses, you are also showering him with love. That makes all the difference. Kudos to you! So happy he is now back home.

    Pam

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  6. Hi Erica — I am so glad that John is home πŸ™‚ I think you did a GREAT job taking care of him πŸ™‚ You are very loving and caring.Do not be ashamed that you cried,yelled, etc it’s normal.Some things at times do get overwhelming , I always hold good thoughts for you both πŸ™‚ Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade/ Emily Jean xoxoxoxo

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  7. Medical things bring out stress like nothing else. 😦 My dad had a valve replacement operation before he’d qualify for his kidney transplant. When all was said and done he was taking over 60 pills a day. Crazy! Glad he’s home safe and hope you both get recovery time now.

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  8. Nothing is more jarring than serious medical stuff; there’s a tangled forest of feelings not even easy to identify, much less negotiate without stumbling along. John is right, you’ve nothing to blush over, you did a lot of complex things correctly in a stressful situation, for a somewhat difficult patient– while still recovering from hospital trauma! So if it was done with a bit of noise, well, it just makes for a better story later!

    I get the impression John is already better than when he went in, so it helps to have more positive stuff to look forward to! Meanwhile, that bit with he washer was quite the comic episode! Is your man the type that unplugs every appliance before going out of the house for a week or so? Did you have to reset clocks and DVRs and such?

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  9. MrJ — he’s not eating very much right now.

    Jay — thanks. I don’t really feel like I was all that wonderful.

    Ariel — care-talking is just not my thing. I get too nervous. But I’m trying.

    Richard — thank you.

    Pam — thank you for the encouragement. Despite all the difficulty, I’m glad he’s home too. He was so miserable in the hospital.

    Jade — overwhelming is a good word, thank you.

    Lea — sixty??? Jesus!

    Wolfie — ha… well, John is quite the environmentalist and is concerned about saving water and electricity, but that’s not why he turns the water off in the laundry room. He’s had laundry room floods before and he’s concerned about that possibility, especially when he’s gone for a while.

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  10. Thinking good thoughts. For you, always. For the quality of your life with John, always. You both have a long way to go to be sure, before your normal day to day is just that, normal everyday stuff. A long way to go, but look how far you both have come already. Love and best wishes and good thoughts, always.

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  11. Joe — yes, we came a long way. Thank you.

    Ronnie — you’re sweet.

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  12. Been there, done that, except I was the slightly grabby but very grateful patient on a day bed in our dining room – no stairs to climb to shower. Keep on remembering to take care of yourself. With a warm hug, Jon

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  13. Downunderdon on said:

    We men are all such wussy babies when it comes to any sort of medical procedure; for a stubbed toe to open heart surgery and everything in between. John is just so lucky that he has such a caring goddess to look after him.

    Please remember to look after yourself as well.

    Blessings

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  14. Jon — trying to. Thanks.

    Don — goddess?? Ye gods, hardly. But thank you.

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  15. Spanking360 on said:

    You and John are in my thoughts ans prayers.

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  16. poppamark on said:

    Yeah the stress factor when someone you love comes home is quite amazing. Remember that all you held in while he was in surgery and then recover still has to come out. So yes you both bicker but as corny as it sounds you bicker because you love each other. he is sore and miserable, you are stressed, emotional, and you both went through a scary time.
    Don’t sweat it, it is normal and you both are fine.
    John can’t probably vocalize his fears or even how much he needs to lean on you, so he grumbles. He does things he shouldn’t in part to get a rise out of you. Being a man means we can’t say what we really fear, or how much we need and appreciate our other half, nor can we vocalize the depth of emotion we feel for the person we love.
    Erica you are doing fine. Cry, vent, and meltdown when you need to release those pent up emotions. When it is over you will do exactly what you have always done your whole. get back up and get back to work.
    You are a strong special Lady, we know it, and so does John.

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    • Poppa — you’re very kind. Truth be told, no one is being harder on me than I am. John has said many times how he couldn’t have gone through this without me and that I’m doing a great job of taking care of him. (sigh) I wish I could believe that in myself! But I will try to roll with this a little better, and take better care of myself. Headed for the gym right now, actually.

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