Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

“Give it to me”

Two weeks ago today was John’s surgery. It feels like two months.

I really don’t feel like giving much of an update. Suffice it to say, it’s been a rough time. John’s recovery has been sidelined with some unexpected complications — nothing life-threatening, but definitely impeding and disheartening. The stress has been huge, as well as the amount of work I have to do when I’m with him. I love the man (obviously), but he is not an easy person to take care of. So when I’m there, I’m stretched paper-thin, physically and emotionally, and when I’m home, I’m beside myself with worry and frustration. It’s exhausting.

Today, Steve came over.

Hugging me close at the door, he observed, “You’ve lost weight.” I’m not quite sure how; I have been making sure to eat and drink. I haven’t gotten to the gym as often as usual, but I have exercised. Maybe the constant stress is burning more calories. Whatever.

I caught him up with everything. We talked. He said, “You need to be over my knee, don’t you.”

God, yes.

I have cried countless times since this all started, particularly the past week. Yesterday at the gym, for example, I spontaneously welled up three times while on machines. These tears seemed to come from a bottomless pit and I felt no better after I shed them. Today’s tears were different. They came on immediately — I don’t think he’d given me more than half a dozen slaps. From the start, it felt like I was being drained of poison.

It hurt a lot at the outset, as it had been three weeks. Like a mantra, Steve’s voice behind me intoned, “You need this. You need this.”

And as the tears became sobbing, I heard him say, “You’ve been carrying all this around for way too damn long. Give it to me. Let me take it. Let me carry you for a while.”

Afterward, he pulled me into his arms and I continued to weep. I was mortified to see that I’d left large wet blotches on the shoulder and chest of his t-shirt. But he didn’t care.

He gave me a little extra with the riding crop and the Lexan paddle, just to finish me off. And when he had to go, he put me to bed like a child, as I was limp with tiredness. Wouldn’t even let me walk him to the door.

I slept for an hour.

The problems are still there. Tomorrow, I have a long day ahead, taking John to two doctor appointments. But for this moment, I feel boneless, melted. He took my tension away.

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Just for today, I think I may not lose my mind after all.

Thank you. ♥

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13 thoughts on ““Give it to me”

  1. Steve sounds like a really great guy. You’re surrounded by people who care about you–let them take some of your burden 🙂

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  2. Lostgirl on said:

    “Let me carry you for awhile.” That is so incredibly beautiful. I’m glad you got a chance for some cathartic release. Peace and blessings 🙂

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  3. Awe! (Lots of hugs!) I’m glad Steve was able to come over and help carry you for a while. I hope you hear good news at the doctor appointments tomorrow! ❤️

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  4. Hi Erica — I think it’s beautiful that Steve said let me carry you for a while, He is so caring.I am glad you got to release some tension and stress 🙂 When I look at your pic, I can tell you are going through a lot you look so sad 😦 I feel like crying.I just want to hug you,Wishing John good luck at the doctor appointments tomorrow. I care about you both a lot. Much Love and hugs from naughty girl Jade/ Emily Jean

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  5. What an incredibly beautiful so-much-more-than-friendship is this.
    And what a well-deserved spanking.

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  6. Very glad that spanking relieved your stress, for the moment at least. I wish there was some way to avoid it building up again, but guess there isn’t any. All the best to you and John.

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  7. Dale on said:

    That was a great post, Erica – – Seems that Steve took care of all of the things that we wanted to do for you – – Thank you Steve – – … and things will be much better in the morning, Erica… Prayers for you always!! – Dale

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  8. Autumn — yeah, he’s a keeper.

    Lostgirl — thank you, dear. It was definitely needed.

    Jay — the doctor appointments took all day and I’m running on fumes right now, so I’m especially grateful for my stress release yesterday!

    Jade — I’m not really all that sad, I’m just stressed out and tired. I’ll be OK. Promise.

    MrJ — yes, I’m grateful to have a caring top.

    Joe — sadly, the thing about stress is that as soon as you get rid of some, there’s more waiting for you!

    Dale — thank you so much. 🙂

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  9. Remember that special place you liked to go and be by yourself when you were a kid? The place that was just yours? The one that gave you space and comfort?
    Ok. Now, close your eyes and go there.

    Then, pull up your unmentionables, girl, and go to back to today.

    Jon
    PS Yes, yes, very new age-y but I know exactly where that place was for me. I can smell the pine needles and feel the rock and the coziness and remember that no one ever found me there. It works.

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  10. poppamark on said:

    You are stronger than you think and you have good friends to lean on, Ms. Erica; you will be fine!
    I would be surprised if some sort of set back did not happen for John. He will overcome them too.

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  11. Jon — I didn’t have a place like that, I don’t think. Basically any place where I could be alone was good for me. 🙂

    Poppa — that’s what people keep telling me; I’m strong. I wish I felt it!

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  12. I hope the best for you and your significant other.

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