Outside the comfort zone
Those of you who have been following me for years, have read my book, etc., know that I have a bit of exhibitionism in me. I love playing in front of others. I’m obviously not camera-shy. And years ago, I sashayed down the bike path at a local park in the moonlight, wearing nothing but heels and stockings. So I guess, buried deeply within my careful and meticulously planned self, there’s a teeny part that enjoys taking a little risk too.
However, one place where I’ve never taken risks is where I live. Yes, I play inside my apartment and I’m sure neighbors have heard and wondered. But outside my door, I don’t mess around. John used to love to do naughty things in my hallway when we were leaving or coming home, like pull up my skirt, or loudly smack my butt. To these I would jerk away and hiss, “I have to live here!” Same thing with Steve. He always makes like he’s going to pull me out the door in nothing but my underwear (or less), and I parrot that identical phrase to him.
Yesterday, after we were done with a very thorough hand spanking, Steve said, “We’re going to go a little outside your comfort zone today.” My first reaction was to tense up, on the defensive. “Look at me,” he said, and I did. “It will take about five seconds. Will you trust me?” How bad could it be if it only took five seconds, I thought. Slowly, I nodded.
He got his camera ready, took off my top (my pants were already off, obviously), and told me to go into the corner by the door and strike a pose with my arms over my head. Ummm… OK. Didn’t see the harm in this, since I’ve done it many times before.
“Good,” he said. Then he unlocked and cracked open my front door. “Now go and do the same thing in the hall.”
I stepped back. No way. With all those doors that could open any second?
He didn’t order; he knows that’s not my style. He convinced. “I can hear if someone is coming, and if I hear a door opening, I’ll push you back inside,” he said. “I’ll go into the hall first, make sure the coast is clear. Then I’ll say ‘ready, set, go,’ you jump out, I’ll snap a picture and you can dash back inside.” Again, he asked, “Will you trust me?”
That’s when my mind clicked over. This wasn’t about exhibitionism. This was an exercise in trust. I knew I didn’t have to do it if I really didn’t want to, if I didn’t feel safe, if I was afraid. And that’s exactly why I did it. Because I do trust him.
So when he gave me the cue, I scooted out the door, struck a pose, and as soon as I heard the camera click, I was back in my living room, my heart pounding.
He was right; it didn’t take more than a few seconds. But it pleased him so much. And yeah, I was a little thrilled too. I’ve forgotten lately what it’s like to let go, be a little crazy.
We then headed into the bedroom for my “reward.” No, not that kind of reward. I’m a spanko, remember? This kind of reward.
And then all was well in my little world for a while.
In other news, John is now up to walking for an hour twice a day. Of course, after each one, he is exhausted and has to take a nap, but it’s progress. I’m looking forward to when he can get some of his tone and muscle back. He’s so very thin right now…
Back to work with me. Happy hump day.
Of course Steve was pleased. Being trusted and making your girl do something she´d rather not do is a Top´s big thing. 😉
Good to hear about John’s progress.
MrJ — well… I prefer “convinced” rather than “made.” I am highly resistant to being made to do anything. 🙂
I can see that. But I would never equate ‘dominate’ with one specific meaning of ‘help to do things she would normally not do’. Especially with: ‘enforcing my will.’
I am glad to hear that John is making progress. Soon, I hope, he will be back to his old self (minus the sickness)!
As for you, it sounds like Steve has pulled you out of the doldrums as well. Enjoy the spring.
Don — I hope so too. Meanwhile, it may be spring, but it’s a deliciously gray and dreary day outside and that’s my favorite! 😀
Great Picture! So happy to see your beautiful smile again! I am glad the stress is at a more manageable level for you. Johns journey may not be fast but it will be worth it! Working towards good health has to be easier than waiting for a friggin’ insurance company to schedule your operation.
The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train! 🙂
Poppa — you don’t know the half of it! John fought with the damned HMO for years, trying to get them to agree to the surgery he wanted, rather than the easier/cheaper one they wanted. And then when they finally did it, the surgeon had the nerve to say to me, “He should have done this years ago.” Well, duh. 😦
Yeah I understand. I fought with Workmans Comp for 18 months after I ruptured 5 discs. I had tremendous pain in my one hip. They would not even X-ray it until I had my back surgery telling me it was back related. After surgery the pain was still there so they took a look. I had broken a piece off my pelvis and it crumbles into tiny pieces and was in my hip socket tearing the labium apart.
Two years after I first got hurt my surgeon hollered at me because if it had been taken care of I would not now be looking at a future hip replacement.
Got to love this health care system.
Tell John I share his pain!
Great to hear you having fun.
Jon — thanks. Yes, it’s a pleasant change.
Brave girl Erica. Lovely pictures.
So happy to hear about John’s progress.
Ronnie — thanks! 🙂
That’s good for you. Letting your hair down, so to speak, and stepping outside your comfort zone. And good for John. Relatively soon after very serious surgery to be walking for two hours each day (if I understood you right). Great! Let’s hope its all downhill from here. Freewheeling! Best wishes, Joe.
Joe — I guess it’s relatively soon, especially considering that for the first three weeks after his surgery, he couldn’t walk at all. Thanks… I hope so too.
I’m something of an exhibitionist too. Wasn’t it a rush after you got back into the apartment? It’s so scary being out in the hallway, because “OMG, somebody might see me”, but when you get back into your apartment you realize that it was just this side of safe, which is what gives you that rush. I live in the basement apartment in my building, and there are only four other apartments, two on each of the other floors, so I can hear if they’re about to open their doors. I’ve pushed it a couple times, and it’s so damn hot when I’m back in the apartment having ALMOST been caught!
Hi Erica — Nice pics 🙂 YAY YOU GO GIRL 🙂 GREAT JOB 😉 I like to take risks as well,it’s so much fun, I like the adrenaline pumping before and afterwards. So happy that John is making progress that’s WONDERFUL 🙂 Much Love and hugs always from naughty girl Jade/ Emily Jean
Jen — I did have a rush when I came back in, yes. 🙂
Jade — thanks! Hugs back.
It’s good to hear John can get a little exercise by walking now!
Sounds like you had quite the little adrenaline rush from the trust excercise! LOL 🙂
Jay — I did indeed! 😉
nice to see the beautiful smiles back,but please make sure next time your bra & knickers are matching ones
Graham — the lace and some of the flowers on my panties were nude color, as was my bra.
looks like different shades of nude now I have looked real close (I`ve even had my jewellers eye glass on it lol),keep up the good work