Correspondence Hall of Shame, 6/12
Been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve saved up some terrifically terrible tidbits for you.
Short and stupid:
Hi beautiful 🙂 would love tto strap u to bed an sspank your sweet ass til it red
Did I get you excited, darlin’? You’re stuttering.
WARNING: Grossness alert. The following entry is especially revolting. Read at your lunch’s peril.
Male here with a massive pussy eating fetish. I love to eat it dirty, smelly, hairy (prefer it hairy), unwashed/wiped for days, “creampies”, and I also love eating on the period (no tampon in). I also love it pissy and for a female to piss as I am eating her out. Not looking for sex really, I can get off from eating pussy, but only if its dirty/smelly or that time of the month.
Uh… move on, pal. First, I don’t have “that time of the month” anymore. Second, unwashed/unwiped for days?? Where are we, on a remote desert island? I’m far too clean for you. Oh, and you like it really hairy? Feel free to time travel back into the 1970s.
(excuse me while I take a quick break for a shower)
Hello I work in Xxxxxx we could spank I could spank you and you could fist me in exchange ? Just a straight forward arrangement . Let me know
Sure, I’ll fist you. Gimme your face.
OK, kids, interpretation time:
Hello beautiful angel of heaven wanted to see you wanted quitame Virgo’m looking for someone to teach me more than good
WTF is “quitame,” and why would I want it? Oh, and honey, I don’t teach good. I teach bad. 🙂 Angel of heaven? Clearly you took a wrong turn somewhere.
And finally, a real head-scratcher; a new take on the form letter This was much longer, but I cut out the portions with personal information.
-)Well ♪ ♫ This is Your Qualified Boy next door The Kid Crowned King Öcean: I’ve NEVER DID MIND ÄBOUT LITTLE THINGS ÄLL I CARE ÄBOUT IS MY AUDI RIMS BENTLEY WINGS GUCCI INTERIER IN MY BENZ
I’VE FINISHED WRITTEN 260 SONG ABOUT LIFE/CLOTHING LINES/WEED/REAL STUNTs/MONEY/CLUBS/POLITICs
The Kid Crowned King Öcean Am a Beat composer & a performer
My Life is a Way of Art & Patterns.
Am easy Able To Do FEATURES or HOOKS*
i Would Love To Take You Out For a Classy Romantic Dinner After Or Before a Healty Fun Catwalk Through The Mall
Whateva You Like Whatever You Want
That’s All For Now -)
#Crowned King Öcean♔★♪
Say it with me… HUH?? Dear King Ocean: Methinks you’ve inhaled a bit too much saltwater.
As for this crown icon, it sorta looks to me like a bifurcated light bulb, or a butt with the cheeks pulled apart and a plug inserted. Go on, try to unsee it.
In other Friday news, John has now been back to work for two weeks. He is very tired, but seems to be hanging in there. His spirits are good. He has been too tired to take his walks, but we’re hoping his energy will come back. As for me, all the plumbing/plastering/drilling/etc. is finished in my apartment, as of this morning. There’s still a lot of work that needs to be done on the pipes overall throughout the building, but the ones in my immediate vicinity are fixed. No more noise, no more invasion. Yesterday, I got away from it all and spent the day with Alex, and we caught each other up for over six hours. It did us both good, I think. Friends are wonderful things. ♥
Have a great weekend, y’all.