Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Defining… and redefining

OK, kids. I have some things to say. Hunker down and grab a beverage, because this is long.

I find myself at a crossroad with this blog lately. Since I moved to WordPress, my views and comments have dropped by about two-thirds. I was told to wait it out, and I have; it’s been five months. I’m not sure who my readers are anymore, really. Do people still read blogs, these days? Is the blogosphere destined to be pictures only? And where do I fit in, in all this, at this stage of my life?

So, I’ve been feeling the need to clarify a few things. Much of this, many of you might thinkย is already well known. Bear with me, because I’m clarifying as much to myself as I am to you, and I need to get it all down.

1. I am a depressive. I have been for most of my life. It is clinical and physiological; my brain wiring, serotonin levels, etc. are screwy. I am also cynical, curmudgeonly, snarky, sarcastic, and a glass-half-empty sort. This is who I am. How do I cope? I take meds. I exercise. I talk to friends, I play with my top. And sometimes, I vent. I rant. I bitch. Sometimes, I wallow a little in the pity pot until I’m able to climb out of it.

I realize I’m not everyone’s cup of tea; I am no ray of sunshine. But if you don’t like who I am, or what I have to say, think I’m too negative, please… just don’t read me. And please, don’t shame me or invalidate me. I know people mean well when they try to fix, try to suggest things that will snap me out of it, suggest that I count my blessings and be grateful, tell me that other people have it much worse. Believe me, I am fully cognizant of my blessings, and I know they are many. Problem is, when I am in the abyss, I can recognize the blessings with my head… but I cannot feel them in my gut. They are temporarily lost to me. Regardless of what Abe Lincoln said, I cannot simply “make up my mind to be happy.”

Let me put it another way. If you saw someone in a diabetic coma, would you say to them, “Come on! Just make up your mind that your blood sugar levels are normal.” I would hope not. A depressive cannot control the unhappiness anymore than a diabetic can control their blood sugar. They can only manage it somewhat, and hope that it doesn’t go haywire.

So. if my sometimes cranky outlook on life isn’t your cup of tea, please feel free to seek out people who will blow sunshine and rainbows up your ass. I promise I will try hard not to be too over the top negative; I will keep working on perspective.

And remember this: ๐Ÿ™‚

sarcasm_minion

2. I am a spanko. Well, duh, Erica. Tell us something we don’t know. Patience, boys and girls.

I’ve been in this scene now for 19 years and counting, and I’ve watched a lot of changes, seen a lot of people come and go. Maybe I spend too much time on FetLife, but in recent years, I’ve noticed an overall attitude, a sort of negative vibe toward people who identify with just one fetish.

Used to be that people like me, who identified spanking as their sole fetish, called themselves “spanking purists.” However, now that term is frowned upon; it’s considered elitist. Somehow, it’s not OK to simply enjoy one aspect of the lifestyle anymore. We are supposed to experiment, to try new things, to be open-minded. We are supposed to “evolve.” So now we have St. Andrew’s crosses and whips at spanking parties. We have caned breasts and thighs. We have interrogation scenes (granted, those are done privately, but still).

I have very mixed feelings about the term evolve, as it’s used in the scene. On the one hand, some of my dearest friends use it and I know they don’t mean to upset anyone. But on the other hand, I resent the hell out of it. Because the implication is, if you’re not evolving, if you’re not continually changing and broadening, then you’re a dinosaur. You’re narrow-minded. You’re doing it wrong.

Here’s the deal, kids. I’ve done my experimenting. In my earlier scene years, I went to way more BDSM gatherings than spanking parties. I’ve been tied up, tied down, on a St. Andrew’s cross, in suspension. I was whipped by this guy. I scened with a man who is considered one of the premier experts on BDSM. (Who, incidentally, marked the hell out of me on a Friday night of a spanking party weekend; a major no-no.) I worked in a dungeon.

Most of my friends like a lot more fetish stuff than I do. Hell, my boyfriend and my top like a lot more fetish stuff than I do. And so sometimes, I doubt myself. I wonder if I need to branch out, be more open to other things.

Recently, John and I went to a BDSM/dungeon party, for the first time in many years. There was nothing wrong with it, no one did or said anything inappropriate. But I was miserable. I didn’t enjoy being there, I didn’t like anything I was seeing. And when we left, I was sad and depressed, and I wasn’t sure why. Until I thought about it, and realized that, just like when I was younger and desperate to belong, I was trying to force myself into places where I didn’t fit.

Well, no more. I’m not going to apologize for being a spanko, for liking what I like. What gets me going? I love a man’s hand, or implement, striking my bottom/sit spots/uppermost upper thighs. A friend recently asked me, “Do you hate D/s?” No, absolutely not; it can be really hot with the right person. But for me, it must be centered around spanking. Period. I do not want a gag in my mouth, a collar around my neck, clamps on my nipples or a hook up my ass. Paddles, straps, crops, canes? Bring it. A nice soft flogger on my back — there’s my exception to the bottom rule. I don’t want to be thudded with implements that look like closet poles, or have my flesh flayed off with a rubber hose. Marks, bruises? Sure. But my blood is to remain within my unbroken skin, thank you. My “bionic bottom” days are over. I am not in a competition with anyone to see who can have the most trashed ass.

If that makes me unevolved, then so be it. But I will not feel less-than about it anymore. I am who I am, and this is what works for me. If you like a lot of different fetish activities, then I am happy for you and wish you all the pleasure. But please don’t judge me or think less of me because I don’t.

3. This blog is more writing-centric than photo-centric. I realize that everyone and their second cousin has a Tumblr photo blog these days. But let’s be real, folks. I think it’s time to start calling myself a retired spanking model. My shoots are very few and very far in between these days. Don’t get me wrong; I am extremely proud of the fact that I have been a spanking bottom on video all through my 40s and most of my 50s. That’s unheard of. But even I realize I’m getting a little too old for this. I may have knocked a few years off my face with surgery, but the rest of my body is aging, in various and insidious little ways, despite all my efforts with diet and exercise.

Recently I watched a video that I shot last year, and had a couple of rude awakenings, seeing myself in HD. Fact: most bottoms can look good when the spankee is bent over — everything smooths out and tightens. The true test of a bottom’s shape and tone is when they’re upright. As I watched myself over the man’s lap, the camera zoomed wayyyyyy in on my bottom (jeezus, if that thing were any closer, I could have had a colonoscopy). And then, in that extreme closeup, the top told me to stand up, and I did. And watched as, in glorious HD, my bottom sort of flattened out and collapsed. ACK!! My eyes! Also, as I watched myself lying across the bed, much to my shock and horror, I saw my mother’s age-spotted arms and vein-y hands. How the hell did she get in there? Then… oh, f**k. That’s not Mom. That’s me. (Yes, Mom, I can still hear you. I should have worn more sunscreen.)

QUICK EDIT: Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’ll never shoot again; I enjoy it too much, and if the opportunity arises, I won’t say no. But what I don’t want is to cross over the line between being a rebel against ageism and being a joke. I know haters are gonna hate, but I’m not made of stone. Comments like “What is someone as long in the tooth as Erica Scott still doing in spanking videos?” hurt. Yes, that’s real. Or the guy on Twitter who posted my picture and tweeted, “Wow, I didn’t know there was such a thing as granny porn.”

What does this all mean? Mostly that the days of exciting write-ups of shoots, with accompanying photos, are pretty much behind me. And because I don’t go to many parties and we don’t have a local spanking scene, my party reports and pictorials will be rare as well. So, if you look at blogs for the spanking photos, this blog isn’t for you. Sure, I’ll still have posts about Steve and our scenes. But I’m sure a lot of people find those redundant after a while.

So what does a spanko and former video actress write about? I feel like I have a lot of wisdom and experience to share, and would love to have some interesting discourse with y’all. But if all folks want is pictures these days, then I may need to gracefully retire this blog. Thoughts?

One more point, and then I’ll end this soliloquy. If you do read this blog, and you enjoy it, or if you want to debate a point with me, ask questions, whatever… for heaven’s sake, take a minute and drop a comment. Without feedback, we bloggers might as well be talking to ourselves. And I don’t want to hear any more about how it’s too difficult to comment on WordPress. I’ve already explained how it works, here. Also, people have mentioned that they don’t want to comment because they don’t want their names and email to show up. Well, you don’t have to post them. When you go to the comments section, the first thing that comes up is blank spaces for Name, Email, and Website. Guess what? You can leave them blank. Put whatever name/nickname that you wish in the name slot, and that’s it. Actually, you don’t even have to do that; if you leave Name blank, your comment will appear as Anonymous. So, no more excuses. I don’t ask you to agree with me when you comment. All I’ve ever ask is 1. you stay on topic, and 2. you are civil and polite.

(whew) OK. I feel better now. I meant no offense to anyone; just needed to redefine who I am and what I’m doing here.

Have a great weekend, y’all.

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64 thoughts on “Defining… and redefining

  1. Erica,
    I love you blog and would be very sad if you decided to retire it!! Continue to write whatever you feel like and I will continue to read. I actually like that your blog is more of a written blog than a picture blog. Although I do like the occasional picture. I feel like sometimes when I open a blog I’m like whoa I can’t unsee that!! ( not yours) your pictures are tastefully done. And I love that the couple times I’ve had a question you have been more than willing to take the time to answer. So my vote would be to keep doing what you’re doing!! Vent, rage. Recount your scenes with Steve and write anything you damn well please!!

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  2. Erica, you said a mouthful, and I LOVE you for it. Yes, like me, you appreciate just being a SPANKO. With STRONG opinions about life itself. I would to thank you for your BLOG, for your HONESTY, and being TRUE FRIEND to Me. Yes, I had to HANG UP my SPURS, so to speak a few years back being an ACTIVE SPANKO, because I was getting along in age. But now and then, I rise to the occasion once in a while. Please, Please, stay as you are. And may you continue your excellent blog for many more years come. XXX I will always LOVE YA, And both of us just being a SPANKO, is just one of them.

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  3. I have read your blog for some years now, and would miss it greatly if it were gone. As you note, there are many spanko blogs, but I find that there are few you can read and somehow touch the essential humanity of the writer. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated by this ofttimes lurker. Thank you…

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  4. Anonymous on said:

    Well Erica … I feel at liberty to comment because I am older than you and have been in the scene for at least 30 years. I have spanked most of the retired divas of the Los Angeles scene including Kiri Kelly, Eve Howard, Dolores Cortez, and many others who do not use pseudonams. I am now too old to be a devotee but you were pointed out to me at a Shadow Lane Party in California years ago by Ellie O. I sometimes come across your blog and once in a while I read it because I find you and your life style interesting. Just as I have progressed from a spanking zealot to an aging alumnus of the scene you have progressed from a attractive young diva to an equally attractive but enthusiastic matriarch of the genre. Never mind about some wrinkles and the anatomicas gravitas (sic) you seem to have identified your niche just as I did after much experimentation. I have always found Los Angeles to be the cutting edge of kink and have had some great experiences there over the years but be assured that losing my enthusiasm as a function of time and age is somewhat like losing an old friend. I experience depression but have found a medication which keeps the despair in check. I can only say that your thoughts in today’s narrative ring true and I will continue to read of your experiences on the coast with interest. So here’s to wishing you a future of chilled champagne and sexy spankings. Spanko’s have a gift and it serves to augment their lives.

    The Grinch

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  5. My wife and I are un-evolved spanking purists. I got the lecture about evolving when we started the party circuit. All it did was piss me off. We do a niche blog that has only 200 readers a day. Some of the posts are about our play, but seldom include pictures as we are aging and not so cute these days. We post about things that interest us and supplement with some chosen web pictures and a few pictures from the vaults of time past. The things which turned us on at 25 remain with us. We make no apologies for not adopting things found under the BDSM umbrella.

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  6. KB — you’re sweet. Thank you, and thanks for the private messages of support, too.

    Six — that was lovely. โ™ฅ

    Chet — glad to hear from you. Thank YOU.

    Grinch — at the risk of your replying “Bah humshit,” that was really, really sweet. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Bogey — ya know, I don’t blame others if they want to branch out. More pleasure for them, I suppose. I just don’t want to be judged because I don’t! We are who are are. I’m not a multi-tasker in any way, in my life. But the passion I feel for spanking is 110%.

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  7. Hi Erica!
    I will completely admit that I had no idea you had moved your blog until this week. I have all the blogs I read in my little blogger feed and I scroll through them every day with my coffee and see what’s new. And I must have missed your post that said you moved. I think I saw you on facebook and my brain was like “Huh, where has she been?” And then I investigated! This is really just my own stupidity. I am glad I found you again ๐Ÿ™‚ I love reading what you have to say.

    I also understand completely about trying to fit into a box (or not leaving your box) I feel like I have a daily crisis about what I should be doing or should like. But really at the end of the day, you just are what you are and like what you like. And who cares?

    And I am the same on comments. Sometimes on my blog I feel like I am talking to myself. But I actually like blogging and talking about my personal life and my sex life and sharing things I can’t share with real life friends. So I decided even if I get no comments I will still post about all that stuff because it’s kind of therapeutic and just a good outlet! It is nice to have friends though.

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  8. Downunderdon on said:

    Dear Erica,
    I think that sometimes people get too hung up by the “scene” and think that if they are not doing x, y or z they are bad fetishists. My wife and I have never been to a party (not that I have ever seen one here in the backward land of Oz), never had a fetlife account and never wanted to publicly acknowledge our play. Why….because it is ours! for us only.

    What attracted me to your site…I could see a fellow spanko; some one who likes to be spanked. Why; after 35 years of searching I am no nearer to an answer. But I do like your blackish humour, your slightly pessimistic outlook on life and the way you face the realities of our chosen method of pleasure. Lets face it…no one is as young as they used to be but the older I get the more I appreciate the wonders of life and all it contains.

    We are simple people….I like to spank and she likes to be spanked….simple as that!
    (These days spanking is more often fitted around appointments with the doctors than our spontaneous younger days.)

    To me there are choices that are made every second of the day and for each choice there is an outcome. I choose to read a blog(s) that tell a story of someones life, their successes and their failures, because it is real. I choose to read your blog because it gives me a laugh, a cry, a warm fuzzy feeling, outrageous anger (sometimes) but more than anything else because I enjoy identifying with you.

    A horrible analogy but here goes……you are like a bottle of very good red wine; early on it is full of spice and flavours but a little rough around the edges. With time the roughness has been knocked off, the flavours have matured. One day (hopefully in the far future) you, like the rest of us, will quietly slip past your use by date. But I hope you, like me, will look back with pride not anger.

    Very long winded…it could have been summed up with a simple, I read your blog because it is you, not someone else. Please keep entertaining a selfish me for a while yet.

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  9. Anonymous on said:

    Erica, I first learned about you from one of your movies. I have been reading your blog for a couple of years and yours is the first I go to not necessarily looking for pictures, but looking to see what you have written today. Your writing style is one of the best I read. We too are simple spankers. I hope you continue.

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  10. Jadelyn Mathias on said:

    Hi Erica โ™ก What you wrote is helpful,I hope you don’t stop your blog,I enjoy reading it, I Love it, but I wish people would stop judging you because of what you like, As long as you like it what business is it of theirs ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I am sure there are things they are not into either. We shouldn’t have to change because society wants us to, I agree with what you said,You are who you are.As myself as a Spanko I am only interested in one fetish which is just spanking Not the other crazy stuff out there.I was sad when I read that you are retired from doing videos ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I don’t think age should have anything to do with anything,Do what makes you happy. You are a beautiful person inside and out,If people won’t have you in their videos, well shame on them, you do amazing work.They will just be missing out on a very fabulous and talented actress.You taught me a lot about the spanking scene I wouldn’t have known much about it if it wasn’t for you ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you so very much.You will always be my favorite Spankee, You are a true legend my sweet friend โ™กโ˜†โ˜†โ˜†โ˜†โ˜†Much Love and hugs always from naughty girl Jade / Emily Jean โ™ก

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  11. Casey — well, if you weren’t aware of my new address and just found it, hopefully others will too! Happy to see you again. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Don — thank you for that. It truly made me smile.

    Anonymous — thank you! See, kids? You CAN comment anonymously!

    Jade — thank you, sweetheart. Don’t worry. I still might turn up in a video or two before I end up in the Old Folks Home. Never say never. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  12. Ariel on said:

    Your blog is a one of my daily reads – I always check in, though you seem to have a rhythm to your posting days. I’ve been reading your blog for years, cheering silently most of the time, which isn’t rewarding for the blog writer, so maybe I should venture out of my shell more often. I’m a lurker and a major introvert who generally fears even leaving comments.

    There are always going to be those who “evolve” and think everyone else should too, even if everyone else doesn’t find that to be evolution. They’re hard to ignore. And they’re everywhere. Sometimes it feels like they’re looking for validation. Maybe you threaten them by liking one fetish. The more sure you are and the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more some people will resent it. I can’t help thinking the rude comments dealing with age are based on jealousy and the commenter him/herself feeling threatened.

    One of the reasons I read your blog is the you that shines through. Your spirit, wit, writing. We have similar jobs, I think – I work for myself, editing, writing and ghostwriting. And we share the darkness. Not sure I’ve ever left a comment when you’re going through it – I know what that upside down, no way to the surface feeling is like and never thought I could say anything useful. Conversely, and maybe selfishly, watching your return each time makes me more certain I can find the way back when the cycle drops into that place again.

    Which is a very long-winded way of saying your blog has meaning for me and I would miss it. I enjoy (and envy) your adventures. I’d hate to see you leave the blog behind. There are those of us out here reading and in my case, I have 3 saved tumblr blogs and probably 30 saved blogs that are text. And I’d miss reading posts by someone who understands the sheer wrongness of things like bacon-wrapped pizza and chocolate-covered beef jerky.

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  13. Ariel — it is comments like yours that make me remember why I love blogging. Thank you for breaking out of your comfort zone and reaching out to say something nice to me. From one introvert to another, you are welcome anytime. โ™ฅ

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  14. I still read your blog, even if I don’t comment often, and you’re still an inspiration to me- not just the fact that you’re so open and honest about your life and your spanking fetish, but also because you’re an excellent writer and a clear voice for our community. You’re one of the primary reasons I started blogging, and I truly admire you.

    Now, having said all that… please don’t let it be a burden! If you want to take a break, well… you earned it. Take a break. Post when you want to and feel like it and need to vent or it makes you happy to share something. You’re not getting paid for this.

    PS… what’s the video with the naughty close-up? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  15. Like you, I’m a spanko, not into all the extra stuff that so many people are into. I found that out at a fetish party 11 years ago when a guy decided that he wanted to use some implements on my breasts. I figured what the hell, I don’t know if I’m into that, but it did absolutely nothing for me, so I was much happier when he turned me around to work on my bottom. I also found out that I can’t be cuffed to a St. Andrews Cross with my arms up for very long. He had to adjust that after a while. The only new thing I’ve tried in the past few years is a switch, and OMG, WTF is that??? Not trying that again soon. LOL

    I think you should keep going with the blog just the way you are now, because you have a loyal following even if it’s dropped off some since the move to WordPress. Do what you feel comfortable with!

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  16. CarolBeth on said:

    Erica,

    I only started reading your blog last fall. But then again, at the ripe old age of 58, I FINALLY was able to realize my dream of experimenting in BDSM. It’s true I’ve only tried with one man (10 months now) but it provides what I need.

    Anyway, I find you refreshing. Maybe because we have some similar personality traits – the strongest being, neither of us beat around the bush.

    When I was reading item #1, it sounded like I wrote it about myself. I so strongly identify with you about depression. I’ve suffered since age 13 and was diagnosed manic depressive at 26. Meds help, but there are still “dark times.”

    Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I will miss your blog if you decide to stop – but I will understand. Oh, and I do love the pictures, but I come to read.

    Take care. CarolBeth

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  17. You are definitely surrounded by very supportive readers and lurkers, Erica. Your comments section for this post really makes me smile. I really enjoy reading your blog…I’ve laughed with you and even cried with you. I look forward to reading your posts whether they are about a recent scene or are simply about your life and how you’re feeling. I would sincerely miss your blog if you decided to retire it. I know I inadvertently ended up taking a break from my blog, but I do plan to get back into it again. I enjoy sharing experiences and gaining perspective with friends…and that’s what I’m doing here.

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend. โ™ฅ

    Lots of Love,
    Jay

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  18. Anonymous on said:

    I check up on you all the time, like I do with all my friends. I love your humor and appreciate your writing–the pics, too.

    I’m only interested in the spanking part, too, as a top, and I have no interest in seeing or participating in the beating, torture, or mutilation of women (or men). As you say, many people are into those things and if they’re happy, I’m happy. It’s just isn’t for me.

    I’m your age and maybe it’s just me, but I’m attracted mostly to women close to my age. Just one man’s perspective

    Happy to leave a comment though I usually check in with you through email.

    M

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  19. Ian Foster on said:

    I am sad to read that you are feeling down. I find that reading your Blog cheers me up – though I only read it occasionally I always read all the new entries. I like your comments, they always strike me as at least somewhat reasoned and valid. You are not just being bratty.

    I have commented before that for me (I am 64yrs young), you and some of the more mature spanking models/actresses seem the most authentic/real because you are not pretending to be naughty little schoolgirls or bratty cheerleaders.

    I too am rather one dimensional in that I am only find M/F (note the capital F), F/F and m/f spanking. Some might say that I have another fetish, which is being turned on by pretty women wearing slips/petticoats and stockings. When the spanking and the underwear are combined then wow. So I especially like pictures of you wearing stockings, you certainly have the legs for it!

    Ian

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  20. Erica,

    You are in fact a ray of sunshine. We, your readers, are illuminated by your thoughts, dreams, struggles, and victories. Sometimes, we can completely identify with your experiences. Other times, we learn about a life different from our own. And once in while, we get the privilege of living through you and wishing for a moment that we might be like you. Even your challenges yield insight. Yes, you are a ray of sunshine. Occasionally, a skeptical, grumpy, sarcastic ray, but a brilliant source of light nonetheless.

    As for being unevolved, Randy and I are right there beside you. Every other kinky thing we do is in conjunction with spanking. Even sex. We’re spankos, and that’s what we like first and always. No polyfetuals on FL will ever change our minds.

    From a selfish standpoint, I hope you do shoot again and as often as you like. We own several of your videos, and what makes your performances special is not your physical appearance (although you always look great) or your unmatched longevity as a model, but your irrepressible personality. As a spankee, you are clever and confrontational. By the time the spanking begins, everyone but you is fully convinced that you deserve it. Few other models can match your sharp wit, endless energy, and seemingly spontaneous delivery.

    So, yes, I’m definitely still reading and still a big fan, be it on Yahoo Groups, MySpace, Blogger, or WordPress. If you want to write, I want to read. Love you!

    Hugs,
    Bonnie

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  21. Hi, Erica!

    I think that advice about your traffic coming back if you wait it out was always a bit optimistic; in the real world they say that three moves equals a fire and on the internet it’s always been worse than that. Nonetheless, sometimes it has to be done. It’s my impression, though, that we have entered a sort of post-blog era; there are fewer people reading blogs or visiting any sort of “old web” at all that’s not built into an app on their phone. And commenting has dropped off even more than reading has. Sometimes I look at my blog (which was always more of a “look at the neat spanking stuff I found” space than any sort of personal journal) and wonder what the hell I’m doing when social media platforms exist where it’s easier to discover new stuff, easier to share it, easier to give feedback on it (just click the little heart or the like button!) and easier to move on when you get bored. But at the end of the day, for me it’s about having a place of my own to express myself in. I miss the active commenting conversations that used to happen in blog comments — it made the blogging experience a lot more rewarding — but I don’t think we’re ever going to get that back. Whether there’s anybody left at all willing to look at blogs five years from now, I’m still not sure about. But I’ll probably still have one, even if it’s more like a personal journal or diary or scrapbook, like blogs were back in the early LiveJournal/Diaryland days.

    As for the aging and body image discussion, most attempts at reassurance coming from outside ourselves are pointless; we run our own soundtrack of insecurities in our own brains and we don’t hear contradictory input. So I won’t try to tell you you’re worrying too much. But there’s a reason dominatrix types can still make a good living at almost any age, and I’m going to oversimplify by calling it “attitude uber alles”. Their sort of “art” is not the only sort where attitude is the most important thing. As a woman who is well endowed with attitude, it’s my opinion that you can continue to make spanking movies for as long as it pleases you to do so, and they will find an appreciative audience. It won’t be the *same* audience as the people who only want to see the pure sweet candy that is young perfect 20-year-old bodies; but that’s its own niche, not a universal pre-requisite.

    I do confess I laugh every time I encounter one of your rants about being called “mature”. It’s just another entry in the grand “people are assholes” pageant. For me “mature” is a word like “slut” or “whore” or “witch” — people can call themselves any of these things if they like, but it’s not appropriate for other people (and certainly not near-strangers) to apply such words to others. In fact I just went back and did a search on all 3,590 posts on my blog and only found two places where I typed (as opposed to quoted) that word. Once it was in “scare” quotes indicating my skepticism, and once I was using it to mock a certain sort of self-important spanking man.

    As for the future of your blog, I hope you keep on doing it, but I get that it has to keep being fun, which is harder with fewer readers and many fewer commentors. I’m pretty sure posting exactly whatever the hell you feel like is the only way to have a prayer of threading that needle! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  22. “I am a depressive. I have been for most of my life. It is clinical and physiological; my brain wiring, serotonin levels, etc. are screwy. I am also cynical, curmudgeonly, snarky, sarcastic, and a glass-half-empty sort.”

    No wonder I like reading your blog. I am the same way.

    I instantly sent that cartoon to my daughter too, because that is her too.

    Like

  23. Anonymous on said:

    Besides your blog being my favorite for years I enjoyed all the coments.
    I’m on a tablet so lurking is so much easier but will remain a huge fan!

    Like

  24. Bobbie Jo on said:

    Well said! I particularly agree with you on the fact that we are who we are. I, too, am strictly a spanko. Those who think spankos should become BDSMers just don’t get it. They never will, either, mainly because they don’t want to. The same goes for those in any other fetish. Why is it that some people think others are doing it wrong? Hey, people! Get a life. If someone isn’t doing what you like is no indication they are doing it wrong. They are doing what is right for them! Any of us can easily say, “You are doing it wrong.” There are some fetishes that I think are just plain gross. Ergo, I will not engage, thank you very much. But the people who do, that is their thing. Let me have my thing and you can have yours. Who are we to tell anyone they are doing it wrong anyway?

    What ever happened to being tolerant? What ever happened to being decent? I think there are a lot of people out there who need to grow up!

    Like

  25. SS — thank you! It’s not so much that it’s a burden… more like, it’s a letdown when I make an effort to post regularly and keep it interesting, and then (with a few exceptions) hear crickets. I must say, the response to THIS entry has been gratifying! As for that video — I ain’t telling! :-รž

    Jen — I WISH sometimes that I enjoyed attention to my breasts — more territory! But I hate it. I think all the sexual wiring that was supposed to go to my boobs went to my butt and my neck instead.

    CarolBeth — manic depression is its own form of hell. I’m glad you’ve found the meds that work for you. What a lot of people don’t realize is that these various meds don’t take it all away — it’s not like taking Advil for a headache. They just soften the edges and make it a little easier to cope.

    Jay — you’re such a sweetie. I’ve enjoyed our communications, both on and off our blogs. โ™ฅ I hope you will indeed continue with yours.

    M — I’m happy to see you, wherever it may happen to be. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Ian — well, I’m afraid no petticoats here, but I promise I will keep wearing stockings! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you.

    Bonnie — I love you too. You are such a solid, positive and informative beacon in the blogosphere, and I hope you stay around forever! Thank you for inspiring us all; I’m always thrilled to have you stop by. โ™ฅ

    Dan — I know that you’re right; it’s just a sign of the times, and nothing personal. I guess that’s why I’m questioning whether or not I should continue. But bottom line… I’d really miss doing this. A lot. So perhaps I simply need to adapt to the new normal. And be “mature” about it! (OK, I just threw up a little.)

    Mark — Hah! I hope she liked it.

    Anonymous — yeah, I forget about that too… I’m still on a desktop. Most people these days are on phones and tablets, and commenting is a pain on those. (sigh) But glad you enjoy!

    Bobbie Jo — I think we’re in a culture of shaming these days. Slut-shaming, etc. And among that is a sort of kink-shaming, in which one is supposed to embrace and include everything, or else they are somehow less than. Not saying everyone feels that way, of course. But I sense it acutely, because my kink is so specific. I once wrote a piece on FetLife called “Don’t hate me because I have preferences.” I actually had a couple of people unfriend me over it! (sigh)

    Like

    • She loved it.

      She wrote back that since she’s small she might take off her shoe and use the heel of it to make an impression, thwak thwak.

      Like

  26. Anonymous on said:

    Erica – I have always been dismayed by your self-deprecating comments about your face, your body, your overall appearance. Honey, you are gorgeous !!!
    I have no skin in this game, but you need to acknowledge at some point that you are an amazing (50+ babe) – – Just take some time, once in a while to think — “Holy S***, I am one hot tamale” Believe me, if you saw me, or most of my friends naked, you would look for a first aid kit to wash your eyes out!

    Like

  27. Hi – I’m another silent but frequent reader – for a couple of years. I’m glad you’re blog is there & I hope you keep posting – even though I probably like some activities you don’t & vice versa. I don’t understand criticizing anyone about that. That said, I wish you the best & just wanted to say hi.

    Like

  28. Anonymous on said:

    Hi, Erica I have to tell you that you and Chross have always been my first ‘go-to’ and now you two are almost my only. The VR world has changed but your practical common sense and sometimes-tender comments on life both lift me every time. I’m also with Anon about your whole being – outside and in – and, believe me, you’re vitally attractive. Just wanted to wave a first-time hello!

    Like

  29. Anonymous on said:

    I love your blog and live vicariously through you! If you stop I will as long as I live be checking to see if you change your mind and come back! My favorite top is over 80 so please keep sharing! I’m on a tablet too but I’m going to commit to a short comment everytime I check in and lurk! I’m not out and share a cloud and kindle with family but now I also want to figure out how to buy your book!.

    Please keep things simple for me and continue blogging. Your writing style is phenomenal!

    Like

  30. Anonymous on said:

    Hi Erica, testing to see how easy it is comment – couldn’t figure out how to comment on Alex in spankingland (you’re an awesome friend and mentor) and since I’ve been lurking for years and love your blog i’m wondering if you stayed in touch with sierra after she left dallas? I hope you keep blogging!

    Like

  31. I have been lurking for years and would also miss you if you decide to stop. I have enjoyed your movies and books for just as long. I was lucky enough to be in a fourteen year spanking relationship unfortunately that ended two years ago. I love reading about your adventures as they remind me of my own. Spanked in the back seat of a car in a parking lot in Toronto, strapped and switched in the woods, strapped on the bed. I do miss it so much but I have hope that I will find it again when I am ready. I promise I will reply more and not just lurk.

    Like

  32. Anonymous — well, that made me smile. Thank you. ๐Ÿ™‚

    R — hi back to you!

    Anonymous — so glad you decided to comment. It really does make a difference!

    Anonymous II — I appreciate your compliments as well as your comments. Thank you.

    Anonymous III — Sierra and I are friends on Facebook (under her real name). She went from a very pretty teenager to a stunningly beautiful young woman! ๐Ÿ™‚

    J — I’m sorry your relationship ended. I know that sucks! Here’s hoping you find someone special to help the void.

    Like

  33. Wow…lots of comments. Took two hours to scroll down so I could comment.

    I enjoy your comments, blog, pictures, humor. Of course I’m one of those who read and don’t comment. I don’t have suggestions for you, cause this is your life and you do these things that you enjoy. You should do what makes you and the ones close to you happy.

    I would love to see naked pictures of you every day, but I realize that I won’t find them here. You post things you find interesting and I enjoy reading about your life. Hope you keep posting
    Mike

    Like

  34. Mike — this is the way comments used to be, back in the day. It was most gratifying. Thanks for the support! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • You are almost the only one left that acknowledges the people who comment. It is most gratifying to me when that happens. In my opinion, this is the way new friends are made thru the internet. Maybe the young folks need to listen to there elders more often…lol.
      Enjoy your day,
      Mike

      Like

  35. Anonymous on said:

    WOW! You put a lot in to comment about. Let me just touch on the points that hit me the hardest.
    “I am a depressive.”
    Yeah me too though it never hit this hard. After 3 back surgeries and 2 years of PT and progressively getting better, I hit the peak I guess you could say. I am what I am and realize now I have to deal with the pain and lack of motion I was left with, “Not to mention dealing with the hell that is Workman’s Comp., and take care of Mom as her dementia is getting worse!”
    With that realization I plummeted into depression, could barely get out of bed, and driving to work was exhausting. Could barely function and went from rage to tears for no apparent reason.
    Finally I went to my Doctor last week and I guess I am going to see a therapist…well maybe, it seems like a failure for me if I get help. Arghhhh

    “Used to be that people like me, who identified spanking as their sole fetish, called themselves โ€œspanking purists.โ€ However, now that term is frowned upon; itโ€™s considered elitist. Somehow, itโ€™s not OK to simply enjoy one aspect of the lifestyle anymore. We are supposed to experiment, to try new things, to be open-minded. We are supposed to โ€œevolve.โ€
    If you are comfortable with spanking, and that is all you want, then I say, “Fuck Em’!” Why is it that people who evolve or change feel you have to do what makes them happy? If spanking makes you happy then be happily spanked and tell the rest to Piss Off!

    “But letโ€™s be real, folks. I think itโ€™s time to start calling myself a retired spanking model. My shoots are very few and very far in between these days. Donโ€™t get me wrong; I am extremely proud of the fact that I have been a spanking bottom on video all through my 40s and most of my 50s. Thatโ€™s unheard of. But even I realize Iโ€™m getting a little too old for this. I may have knocked a few years off my face with surgery, but the rest of my body is aging, in various and insidious little ways, despite all my efforts with diet and exercise.”
    You are beautiful quit trying to live to some youth ideal that society pushes on us. To me you are as sensual and lovely right now; just the way you are! Women half you age such look as good and all you have to do is walk through a mall to know that!

    “Recently I watched a video that I shot last year, and had a couple of rude awakenings, seeing myself in HD. Fact: most bottoms can look good when the spankee is bent over โ€” everything smooths out and tightens. the top told me to stand up, and I did. And watched as, in glorious HD, my bottom sort of flattened out and collapsed.”
    Again that happens to everyone and for some at a very young age. Stop watching your self in videos; let s us do it and then revel in our lusty admiration and adoration. Erica we love you for who you are, the whole you, attitude, sarcasm, and all. That does not change because of what you perceive as a flaw. No one could stand up to that kind of scrutiny. Give yourself a break!

    “I know haters are gonna hate, but Iโ€™m not made of stone. Comments like โ€œWhat is someone as long in the tooth as Erica Scott still doing in spanking videos?โ€ hurt. Yes, thatโ€™s real. Or the guy on Twitter who posted my picture and tweeted, โ€œWow, I didnโ€™t know there was such a thing as granny porn.โ€
    Again; Fuck Em’! Twitter, tumbler, fet-life, and every where else is filled with people who get of on being anomalously mean. You have a large group of Fans / Friends who like what you do, and it gives us joy. Let the haters’ go piss in the wind!

    “So what does a spanko and former video actress write about? I feel like I have a lot of wisdom and experience to share, and would love to have some interesting discourse with yโ€™all. But if all folks want is pictures these days, then I may need to gracefully retire this blog. Thoughts?”
    For me personally I always enjoy you pictures. I probably have more Erica Scott pics than any one else in my files.
    BUT; that is not why I come here. As you share your life’s journey I find so much in your posts I can relate to. In some ways I think of you as a kindred spirit. Your blog has made me smile, laugh out loud, and cry. It is the place I come to when I feel a little lost. Your journey is unique but you are never alone. Your friends come along with you through this blog.
    So you have a drop in numbers, think of it as separating the wheat from the Chaff, the cream rising to the Top. Those of us who are here; want to be; because of you.
    You make me laugh, some times cry, but always you make me think. I fell I am better for it!
    Thank you!

    Like

  36. Anonymous on said:

    anonymously not anomalously

    Like

  37. Anonymous on said:

    Arghhh….. BTW its Poppa!

    Like

  38. Poppa — thank you for this, all of it. ๐Ÿ™‚ And I must say, I’m impressed with your use of “chaff.” Every time I see “separate the wheat from the shaft,” my teeth grind.

    Like

    • Anonymous on said:

      I am probably one of the few people you would ever meet that has done that; manually; separate wheat from chaff. Its a dusty crappy job if you do it the old way like my father did.

      Like

  39. To define or be defined, tha’s the questin. I guess I am hre for such a long time just because you are so well able to do the former. That may not make you evey ones;s cup of tea – but then, I donot like that kind of tea but prefer a more pronounced one. On evolutiob aand stbility,I think, I noted at an arlier occasion that I think rhee is nothing wrong with wa=hat I would call balance and authnticity.
    A firm hug.

    Like

  40. Erica,

    Proof of your ongoing relevance and the desire for you to keep blogging is evidenced by all these comments. ๐Ÿ˜‰ You continue to make an impact.

    Just a few thoughts on your specific points.
    1. All I can say without writing a novel is that this is your blog and a reflection of you. You keep it honest and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact that is why I believe so many enjoy it. For those who don’t; I’m sure they left a long time ago.

    2. Honestly I feel the opposite about this in general in regards to staying a “spanko blogger”, but I have no proof. I ‘m not sure people would visit your blog to read about any other fetishes apart from spanking; but I may be wrong. I know you were referring more to real life situations, but just another angle to consider seeing things from.

    3. To your first sentence yes your blog is more writing-centric, but it is beyond that. There are blogs out there that post nothing, but words and never any pictures on one end and on the end we have the overexposure of Tumblr. You obviously are neither extreme. What you offer is a personal and real view of yourself and your world which makes your blog unique and eloquent (and sadly unique) on top of all that!

    I understand the need for comments and conversation and interaction as I deal with that constantly. I have never had a large commenting group of readers on my blog. I totally understand the frustration at putting out extensive energy into a post and receiving slim to no comments. For what it is worth I often tell myself; does it matter? It is always nice but does it? Why do I write? For my own sake or for others. If your blog is an outlet, let it be such and allow the comments to be icing. Easier said than done, but it helps sometimes.

    The point is you can change your writing style, tone and picture content to attract and keep more readers, but then would it still be your blog or simply the mirror of some faceless crowd?

    Like

  41. MrJ — thank you.

    Enzo — thank you, and I think it’s both. Writers write for expression… but writers also write to be read. I love blogging, but if no one were to read my blatherings, I’d feel like I might as well go back to the 1980s and keep a private, paper journal, y’know? But you’re right… I don’t want to write just to appeal to the masses.

    Like

  42. I’ve been reading Erica Scott’s views on Life, Love & Spanking for a few years now and hope to continue for many more. For all the reasons that have been outlined so eloquently above. I can’t add to the list of those reasons. Only maybe underline how they all add up to a blog that is an absorbingly interesting, very, very good read! Please keep writing what I so enjoy reading. All the best, Joe.

    Like

  43. Joe — thank you so much. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  44. Anonymous on said:

    Hey, It has been a very long time since I have been able to get on and read blogs. I look forward to catching up.

    Jean

    Like

    • Whew I finally crawled out of the wood work. You have almost made me do it several times before which is ment as high praise. Just keep doing what doing as long as you like. I have been reading for a couple of years now and always seem to come away better for it. It has all been said in the above comments so I will just wish you the best and say thanks.

      Like

  45. Jean — welcome back.

    Tom — glad you spoke up; welcome.

    Like

  46. Anonymous on said:

    I love your blog. I’m a long time (3+ years) reader and almost always lurker. I love the write ups of your play time but I also love everything else, the song parodies, the snarky rants, the random thoughts on random things. Just keep writing whatever crosses your mind and I (and many others) will continue reading and enjoying it!

    Like

  47. Anonymous — thank you for commenting! You former lurkers have really made me smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  48. I love this depressive, spanko, blogger!

    Like

  49. Steve — and I love you too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  50. Anonymous on said:

    Erica, I would miss your blog if it went away. I think we often forget how important feedback is, even if it’s just a quick thumbs up. This introverted,
    spanko-purist, lurker will try to show her appreciation more often. Smile pretty lady. Happy Hump Day!

    Like

  51. Anonymous — thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚ See, you made me smile.

    Like

  52. Until now I have not been able to figure out how to comment. It is not very obvious how to post since you moved to wordpress . Now that I know I will be commenting more often.

    Bob

    Like

  53. Anonymous on said:

    Great comments!

    Like

  54. Anonymous on said:

    Hi, I have periodically read your blog for many years, partly for the spanking content and partly because you’re a good writer with a story to tell. I hope to keep reading it for a while yet.

    Like

  55. Anonymous — thank you; I hope so too.

    Like

  56. jim sedrut on said:

    You do a great service to this community. Thank you so much :)))))))

    Like

    • Jim — you read back a long way! Thank you, you’re very kind.

      Like

      • jim sedrut on said:

        Erica:) It is the Least that I can do! You are a devilishly good (naughty) writer. And Blogs like yours are SO needed by lots of searching and sharing souls–and their hot bodies and minds of course! Thank you x 1000 !!

        Very curious in Boston.

        PS: Please don’t ever close shop!

        Like

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