Correspondence Hall of Shame, 11/6

Yes, you read correctly. It’s been a long time, but I have a new collection for your Friday snickers.

I want some of that! Let me thrash your bottom baby!

This one isn’t all that bad, just kind of annoying, but wait until you get a load of his profile:

My Ideal Person You suck my cock on the way out the door, drop in at my office to get laid in the middle of the day and you greet me on your knees at home in the evening…then you fall asleep with my cock in your ass…

If you can keep up with my sex drive, then we should meet. 

You need to be 22-40 years old, exercise regularly, fit is ideal, a gym rat gets you extra points and if you are a body builder even better. 

Two things come to mind:

1. If I could fall asleep with your cock in my ass, you must have a micro-dick.
2. I’m way past your age requirement, dumbass. Why are you even writing to me?

Hello, Let’s chat. What do you like. I’m a switch with women and a bottom for CD’s and TS’s.

Well, good for you. What do I like? Try reading my profile, stupid.

Hi was just looking and great photo your a pretty good looking lady must be great to see you in person and smack your ass so how come the one that sleeps with you is not doing his job ? perhaps grab his nuts and give him a talking to?

Not that it’s any of your damn business, but “the one that sleeps with me” is recovering from open-heart surgery. Go grab your own nuts.

i would like to introduce you to enemas and to wine enemas.

In the words of the late, great Groucho Marx, I would like to buy back my introduction to you. Ew!! Thanks, but I’m not even all that crazy about drinking wine. I don’t want it up my ass.

And finally:

Would you be interested in coming to San Diego 11/13 – 11/15 to join into a FMF. I am flying down to be with my sub and she wishes for a beautiful sub to joins us. I had her attend a FMF awhile back and she absolutely found bringing the sub to orgasms licking and playing with her very erotic and wishes to experience again while I am there controlling the play. I have also given her permission to seek out and find another female playmate for while I am away, she lives in Hemet. If interested I will furnish you her KiK or yahoo messenger information to verify. I hope this interest you and look forward to your reply.

How many things can be wrong with one post? Let’s review: I’m not a sub. I’m not looking for sex, and even if I were, I have sex with men, so I have zero interest in your FMF (threesome with two females, one male). The licking I’m into is not of the tongue variety.

Oh, and I don’t usually do this, but I simply must here: the profile name? Sirfukzalot. Seriously??

For good measure, I’m also throwing in some more search phrases I found.

downld vdeo spanking an face sllpping

OK, I get what they’re seeking here. But six words, and four of them misspelled? What is wrong with people?

stick

Huh???

habanero figging

Are you @#$%ing kidding me? First wine, now habanero peppers? No. Just NO. My colon is not a culinary zone.

spanking twice bitten

Hmm. Wonder if that has anything to do with this picture with Steve’s dental impressions.

Have a great weekend, y’all. 🙂

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