Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

A bright spot in some dark days

The SpankingBlogg’s Spanking Awards are in progress, and yesterday, the winners of the 2015 Creative Blogger award were announced.

2nd1

Yup, I got second place this year. First place went to Consensual Spanking, and Alex placed third. Congratulations, you two! Thank you to everyone who voted for me; I was in some really amazing company this year with the nominations.

The contest is ongoing — so far, the nominations are still open for Best Female Newcomer, Best Facial Expression on a Spankee, and Best Male and Female Spanker, with more categories to come. And let’s show Chief John some love, please. He’s working very hard with this project, and even if these award thingamajigs aren’t your cup of tea, they are meant to be fun and some people are really giving him a hard time about the categories, the nominees, etc. No good deed goes unpunished! To John — I and countless others appreciate what you’re doing and hope you won’t let the haters discourage you.

It’s ironic that I’ve received this award right now, considering that I am dealing with a complete blogger’s block. My views are at an all-time low; my off-topic rants get more comments than my on-topic posts. I hesitate to write now, because I’m in a negative head space and I don’t want to dwell on it. But what the hell… this is life, right now.

Sometimes, it’s the confluence of little things that send me under. It started last week, when I went to the endodontist (dental specialist) for a dull but persistent toothache that I’d had for the past few weeks. I hoped if I ignored it long enough it would go away, but no such luck. After taking an X-ray, he informed me that the tooth right in back of the one that was treated two years ago is now dying, and I need another root canal. Ugh. Lots of $$$, and lots of pain and discomfort. And then he added insult to injury by saying, without a hint of humor or teasing inflection, “It’s nothing you did wrong. This is just what happens when you get old.” Oh, swell.

So I come home from this, feeling utterly blech, and go online to check out the newest blog roll. And then I find this (all copy is verbatim, typos and all):

Spanking Mature Woman To Tears

Mature and sexy Eric Scott gets a tearful spanking. A warm-up spanking turns into a very real punishment. Erica has been forbidden to speak the name of a certain man by John. As he is giving her a nice bottom warming before a spanking party she utters those forbidden words. Her carelessness earns the mature woman a severe spanking from her angry man. John makes good use of all the spanking implements her has on hand including leather straps, hairbrushes and paddles. Erica learns to mind her words and pays a painful penalty for her slip of the tongue. She’s spanked to tears and left to reflect on her bad behavior with a red and very sore bottom in this very real mature spanking video from AAASpanking.com!

(pictures, pictures, scroll down…)

SEE MATURE ERICA SCOTT SPANKED TO TEARS HERE! (link)

Besides the fact that this person couldn’t even get my name right, check out the bold highlights. In one itty bitty post, the word “mature” was used five fucking times. Really?? This is now how I’m being described?

And despite this glowing review (cough), the clip John put up on Spanking Tube has gotten a whopping two comments.

Then there’s Shadow Lane. I will always be grateful to them; they gave me my start in this industry and brought me into the scene. But if you go to their newly renovated site and search for me, here’s what you’ll find — I am described as a cougar. I don’t care what anyone says; that is not a compliment. The image that term evokes is of a Real Housewife of Wherever, with a plastic face, duck lips, too-tight clothes and a desperately hungry demeanor, who eats men alive. Then my description blurb cuts off in the middle, and no one has bothered to fix it. In the “where to find Erica” section, they link one video, plus a compilation where I make a brief appearance.

I shot four videos for them. Clearly, I am an afterthought.

You know what, kids? I think it’s time to pull the plug. I’ve had a wonderful run — 15 years. I’ve worked with some incredible people and got to realize a lot of fantasies. But it seems I am way past my expiration date. And please don’t give me that tired cliché about how I’m ageing like fine wine and cheese. Cheese grows mold, and I’m starting to stink. I don’t want to become a punchline in this industry.

And so, while I deal with my mortality and rotten teeth, I am also worried about John, who continues to have work issues, and now he has a bad infection under his thumbnail. He has taken two rounds of antibiotics for it and it keeps recurring. He is still on blood-thinners and bruises/bleeds like a stuck pig over every little bump. He hasn’t had his meds reassessed and he’s still taking all the same stuff since right after his surgery, and I’m sure some of it could use adjusting, or even eliminating. But for whatever reason, he’s putting off seeing to that. I know I’m hypersensitive when it comes to his health, but after all this, can you blame me?

And poor Steve has a cold and a secondary staph infection in his nose; he is swollen, in bad pain, on three different kinds of medications. Don’t know when I’ll see him. No relief there. He’s so dear… he even offered to take me to my root canal appointment on Thursday and then bring me home. But I can’t take him up on that. The doc is over an hour’s drive from me, and I’ll be going home in the worst traffic time (around 6:00) on the very congested freeway. And what’s he supposed to do with himself while I’m in the dentist’s chair getting drilled? No, I just have to get there myself, get it over with, and then crawl home and die.

I really am trying to keep my head out of the darkness, really want to focus on good things. But every time I turn on the TV or the computer, there is some horrible news. Shootings, death, terrorism, illness, road rage. Social media is riddled with anger and short tempers. The upcoming election has become a joke and a circus, the rest of the world thinks we’re idiots, and there’s still over a year to go. Social media is no comfort. Yes, I still have friends there. But they have also become places of meanness, where people unfriend and block and harass.

Oh, and the mother of my childhood best friend passed away; I just found that out on Friday. Even though I’ve long since lost contact with my friend, her mother and I kept up communications all these years. Every year, on my birthday and at Xmas, she sent me cards, and always included a certificate for See’s candy, my favorite. She used to call me her second daughter and signed her cards “Mom #2.”

I have tried getting out of myself. I’ve bought presents and sent some greetings. I even bought candy canes to hand out at random when I’m out and about. But nothing seems to be working. And I’m so damn scared about my dental appointment on Thursday, that’s all I can think about. I know it’s silly; people have dental work every day. But root canals are especially difficult for me. Plus, when I’m scared, my throat tenses up and I aspirate very easily. Choking in the dentist’s chair with exposed nerves and tools in my mouth would not be a good thing.

So. I will be back when things turn around a bit. But for now, no one wants to hear all this crap. Everyone has their struggles. So I will deal with mine, and hope that everyone will still be around when I come out the other side.

 

 

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27 thoughts on “A bright spot in some dark days

  1. Have you mentioned what you’re afraid about to the endodontist? He should be able to calm you down about that, because he’ll know about it going in.

    As far as the videos, the problem is that these companies obviously aren’t appreciating experience. They want 20 somethings, but they forget that a lot of us are older and would like to see people our own age in these videos. Somebody needs to come up with a company that caters to that. Using cougar and mature isn’t helpful at all, it shows how wrong their thinking is.

    Like

  2. You have an on going negative reaction to being mature. I see it this way. 1) Mature beats the hell out of not making it this far. 2) You were not getting spanked when you were in your 20’s, so things have improved for you. Late Bloomer. 3) You would not really want to be 20-something now anyway. 4) A rational mature man does not want a bubble butt 2o 0r 30-something. 5) It took getting closer to being mature before you learned what you really wanted.

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  3. smuccatelli on said:

    Glad you got the #2 spot at least. I’ve seen the video in question and liked it very much. As I mentioned before, it looked pretty intense. I like John’s site but have difficulty appreciating it because I’m so jealous of him getting to have Sarah Gregory as his girlfriend (and spanking partner). I kinda hate him, frankly… 😉

    Never been fond of going to the dentist either, but I’ve been blessed with pretty good teeth, so it’s not so bad. I made a deal with my dentist some thirty years ago: “You don’t hurt me and I won’t hurt YOU! Deal?”. It’s worked out pretty well.

    Feel better…

    Like

  4. (Sending lots of heartfelt hugs your way) I’m sorry the days seem so dark for you right now, Erica. I’m still here for you to vent to if you ever want to send an email my way.

    So that’s what I’ve been dealing with! Blogger’s block…though I am hoping that my next post will at least be something like what I used to write. I’m almost finished with it.

    I hope John’s infection starts to heal properly and that Steve starts feeling better. I wish you the best of luck with the dental appointment. Will they give you more meds or hook up an IV for the nerves and pain?

    Like

  5. Anon E. Mouse on said:

    Keep writing. If you are feeling negative just say so. We’ve been down there too and talking about it may not always help but I’ve never known it to hurt.
    Yes, we all have our problems but if we weren’t interested we wouldn’t be here.

    Congratulations on your award. I really do feel competitions such this have great value. We the readers get to thank you in a way that is somewhat palpable.

    Aging sucks, I’m 66 and was just told that I’ll need cataract surgery in around 2 to 3 years. Oh, Goody!

    My internist of 16 years is leaving town and his replacement is half my age.

    I’m beginning to feel like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. Yes, I do have Asian neighbors.

    Best of luck with the root canal.

    Anon E. Mouse

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  6. anonymous on said:

    Is John at all close to taking an early retirement? What about FMLA leave?

    Can they sedate you or provide anti anxiety meds before starting your dental work?

    About the videos…every producer owes it to themselves if not the performers to make sure names are spelled properly. Typos evident in plot descriptions irk me and makes me feel they don’t take pride in their products which is unwise considering how many competitors there are.

    Like

  7. That was indeed a perfect storm of all things horrid. Can’t believe you felt like passing out ANY candy canes in the midst of it all. And for purely selfish reasons I sure hope you keep writing your blog. I’dmiss it terribly.

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  8. Jen — he knows I’m freaked out about dental procedures, having been through it with me before. But I will certainly remind him.

    Bogey — I agree; I would not want to revisit my 20s. I appreciate the wisdom and experiences I’ve gathered. But I hate the label. I hate how it’s used as a qualifier.

    Smuccatelli — nahhh, don’t hate him. 😉 He’s one of the good guys. Truly.

    Jay — I don’t think they give you IV sedation for root canal, since there’s no cutting and you do have numbing agents injected. I wish I could be like John — he actually sleeps during dental work! And speaking of John, he is having minor surgery on his infected finger tomorrow — very carefully supervised, since he’s a bleeder now. 😦

    Mouse — thank you. I do feel like I’m being kind of a drag lately. Never saw Gran Torino; perhaps I should. Sorry about the cataracts!

    Anonymous — John doesn’t want to retire for another ten years. (sigh) And he did take quite a bit of leave for his surgery this year. As for me, if I had a Xanax handy for Thursday, believe me, I’d take it. Even though I’ve never taken one in my life and it would probably put me to sleep until Christmas. Oh, and regarding that godawful “mature” write-up, that was a random blogger, not the producer of the video.

    Pam — I haven’t actually passed out the candy canes yet, but I did buy a package of chocolate mint ones. I like to leave them with tips at restaurants, give them to people stuck working behind counters, etc. Sometimes, if I see a really sweet kid, I’ll give them one (asking their mothers first, of course). Even my tiny little Grinch heart has to make an appearance sometime, you know?

    Like

    • smuccatelli on said:

      Only hate him because of Sarah. If she dumped him and came over to my house, I’d feel a lot better about him. Hell, I’d probably feel sorry for him… 😉

      Like

  9. Ugh, I get pissed when people call me ma’am so I don’t blame you for getting upset. Our society is so weird about growing older. And, by the way, you have a hot body and a great personality and I love your blog. When I think of you the first thing that comes to mind is not “mature” (As in old. As in wise, yes, but never old).

    I’m sorry about the health problems and everything else piling up on you. It really sucks. Sending you hugs.

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  10. Anonymous on said:

    I hate that I now have to carry around a “seniors” card…what the hell is this seniors business anyway. In my head I am still in my twenties
    And I hate any dental work…my dentist is a champion sailor so every time he sees me it is “hello new main sail”…bastard!!!
    And I hate that I am turning into a “grumpy old man” and the epitome of the xmas grinch. And I hate today’s weather, expected to be 42C (108F)

    And then I remember how the rest of the world is…and I think life is not so bad after all. Hang in there…this getting old business has many benefits as well.
    Downunder Don

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  11. I totally agree with Casey on the ma’am thing, which started inexplicably when I was in my 20s. I now just call people ma’am in response, which confuses the hell out of men. If they ask, I explain that my 89-year-old mother-in-law hates being called ma’am so imagine how I feel… (they can’t).

    The “mature” review – I’d be bummed by it too. It’s not just our society that’s got a “thing” about aging – I know for me, I do too. I’m still 25 in my head and I treat my body as being 25 and I don’t want to be considered “mature.”

    It seems like the comments that have the power to wound are those aimed at the activities we enjoy the most or the insecurities that have the most power over us. I think the reason they’re sometimes made is because the person commenting doesn’t have a passion where the person being commented on (? at? Stops to edit…) does. I was in Taekwon-do for years and made time for training above all the easily replaceable non-career jobs I was working at the time. My admitting a passion for it made person after person make comments about it – the one that stuck with me was a friend who said angrily, “At least you know where your priorities lie.” 25 years later, I still wonder why I shouldn’t have.

    You’re beautiful, you write with humor and intelligence and clarity, you enjoy what you’re doing and are living the life you want to live (with a few bumps here and there, like most of us, I guess) – there are always going to be those people who find that hard to take. Keep doing what you love – that’s the best way I know to answer them.

    Take care.
    Ariel

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  12. Congrats on second place; I think you deserved more. Anyway, i hope it’s okay but I’ve just published a post celebrating you and some of your videos on my blog. If you’d like to have a look it’s at http://timthetum.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=4cc793f4289465c3

    Very best wishes

    Tim

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  13. Erica, I am much more then a Spanko. I am a published writer and accomplished in many areas. I am not writing this to sympathize with you. I am writing this to show understanding. I know writers block, have writers block and I know negativity. I am pissed off at the world right now and it is affecting every area of my life. I relate to what you are saying possibly more so then you. The world in my opinion is in complete chaos. I see a man running for president who a few years ago would barely have a one percent standing. Yet Trump is a front runner simply because he is willing to talk about change. From reading your blog and the way you type I intuit that you are a sensitive and intelligent person. The only advice I can give is simply make it to the keyboard and type. I prefer putting ideas in other platforms like notepad or word before I copy and paste them online. Staring at something different then a blog I am used to helps. Your plight as well as your derriere has touched me (sorry, couldn’t help it).

    -Curtis-

    You wrote:

    “It’s ironic that I’ve received this award right now, considering that I am dealing with a complete blogger’s block. My views are at an all-time low; my off-topic rants get more comments than my on-topic posts. I hesitate to write now, because I’m in a negative head space and I don’t want to dwell on it. But what the hell… this is life, right now”.

    Like

  14. Casey — thank you so much. ♥ What IS it with that “ma’am” business? Every time someone calls me “miss,” I want to kiss them.

    Don — “this getting old business has many benefits as well.” Name one!

    Ariel — thank you for your kindness. I am still 25 in my head too. Not in my teeth, apparently.

    Tim — that was very sweet of you, and I thank you. And I don’t even mind that you used the “m” word. It didn’t feel icky, the way you put it. 🙂 It’s true, I AM older than most of the female bottoms in videos. I used to consider that something unique and wonderful and felt like I was breaking a glass ceiling of sorts. Now… I dunno. We’ll see.

    Curtis — it seems you get me pretty well. I am finding the world to be a very scary place lately. So I attempt to insulate myself and keep my area neat and clean and pleasant. But then life interferes with its headaches, heartaches and insults that visit us all sooner or later and then I feel like if my own little corner is violated, where the hell can I go?

    Like

  15. I’m sorry about your friend, Erica.
    And, well, comments by their nature reveal most about the commentator, don’t they?
    Love.

    Like

  16. CarolBeth on said:

    Erica,

    Though we have never met…and probably never will, I feel like I know you. I would miss you and your blog very much if you gave it up.

    Life is definitely throwing you curveballs right now, and I wish it wasn’t. As someone who was down a long dark hole, for a long time, I can relate – and tell you that you can climb out. It’s tough, but life is worth it.

    Take care of yourself Erica. You mean a lot to many people, including me.

    Like

  17. Well again, “congrats on your second place” and good luck with everything else….
    (sorry for being a little short with my comment).
    Milt

    Like

  18. MrJ — true.

    CarolBeth — I promise I won’t give it up. ♥

    Milt — thank you.

    Like

  19. I hope that all went well and you’re recovering a lot better than you expected! All my love!

    Like

    • Dave — I was a ridiculous baby, shaking and rigid through the whole thing and feeling sick afterward. But Part 1 is done. Part 2 in two weeks. I am in some discomfort, but for now, this one seems to be less painful than the last one was, mercifully.

      Like

  20. poppamark on said:

    When the darkness hits it is hard to see any kind of positive light for me. That is why I read your blog, it helps me to keep my own balance and perspective.

    As for “Mature” it just a word, in cyber space a key word that links people up so they can see topics that interest them. I love you for you, I watch your videos because they hit the right buttons for me.

    “Mature” is not a qualifier, its a badge of honor. Wear it proud as you inspire so many women not to see their birth-date as a limiting factor. Your performances are a great big middle finger to the industry and social norm. You are over 50 and sexy as hell with an in your face and “Fuck you” attitude. Do not let a word tear down your art or self esteem.
    What you do makes myself and many more proud to be playing at this time of our lives. You are our inspiration to tell people with age issues to Fuck Off and deal with it. They are the ones with the problem; not us; and certainly not you.

    I like what I see, I LOVE what you write, and most of all I love how you make me think!

    Like

  21. Elizabeth Jane on said:

    I’m wishing you comfort and a successful, good dental visit when it comes. Sorry you’re feeling so down. Idiots online think they’re invisible and so spew whatever filth is in their idiot heads while hiding behind their web names. Fuck em. You know you deserve better. Just heal up and be nice to yourself this week.

    Like

  22. Mark — you made me smile. Thank you. 🙂

    EJ — the dental ordeal is half over, I think. More to come, but for the moment, I feel OK. Thanks for the encouragement… I know better than to let stupid people upset me, but I’m only human, I guess.

    Like

  23. Anonymous on said:

    Of course it’s up to you, but what I’d suggest is that you make a new video, “The Immature Erica Scott” where you act out in the most outrageous fashion, much like a filthy, perverted teenage boy except without that same height of class. Of course, your viewers know how that tale will end. “I’m mature,” you’ll insist over his lap as he paddles you with his firm hand. Slap. Slap! “Wait, no! Five times over!!! Ouch, ow that hurts you fuckface! I am *too* mature! Ow, ow, ow, please stop. You’re an asshole. No, it *is* true. I read it on the internet, that’s why. Let me go! Ok ok ok I’ll be mature and a cougar too if you just stop, fuckface. Ow, ow! Please stop. Please. I’ll hold my breath until I pass out.”

    Like

  24. Dear Anonymous — in the midst of dealing with a shitstorm of problems right now (John’s finger is much worse than we thought), this made me laugh. Out loud, a lot. So I thank you. ♥

    Like

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