OT: My family
A comment was made to me recently. I don’t think it was intended to bother me, but it did anyway. Something along the lines of how I’m trying to drive you all nuts with my tease about who my family is.
Not my intention, and I’m sorry if it comes off that way.
Here’s the deal, for those who haven’t been following me for a while: I have three family members who are/were in show business. My father and cousin — TV writers/producers. My stepmother (the nice one, not the evil one) — an actress/dancer. I spoke of all three of them at length in my book, and have mentioned them many times in my blog. But I’ve never given their names. Why?
First, although I’m fairly open about who I am and what I do, I still don’t feel like being outed to the world. My father passed away in 1998 and most people under a certain age don’t remember who he was anyway. But to tell his name would give away my real name. My cousin and stepmother are very much alive, and mentioning either of their names would tie back to my father.
Second, while I’m not ashamed of what I do, I know it’s not widely accepted. And if I were to mention my family members’ names on here, that would mean that if anyone Googled them, my blog would come up in the search. “Whoa! Look at the kinky skeleton in so-and-so’s family closet!” Think of the embarrassment and awkwardness this could incur, for everyone involved. The consequences could be far-reaching. It’s not worth it.
Am I dying to share more information, stories, names? You bet. I’m very proud of these people. Even though their era is bygone and their names would mean nothing to most of my younger friends, I still wish I could reveal more. My father and cousin won nine Emmys between them. My stepmother was a stunningly beautiful and talented woman, one I often wished was my real mother.
So yeah. I tell the stories that I can, when I can. I love wearing the necklace my stepmother wore for 50 years, that was given to her by Jerry Lewis in 1962. I love that my dad co-wrote a sketch that is considered one of the funniest in TV history. I love that my cousin created indelible TV characters. But that’s all I can and will say. It is not my intent to tease or be obnoxious. It is my expression of pride, and my yearning to tell more. Because every time someone compliments my writing or tells me that I’m funny, I give a silent thank you to my DNA, the genetic talent passed on to me. Because there is a lot more to me than the spanky stuff. Mind you, I’m proud of that too. But it’s not all there is.
Who knows. Maybe when I’m older, everyone in question has passed on, and none of it matters anymore, I’ll say “screw it” and reveal it all. And then most people will say “Who??” and it will be rather anticlimactic. 🙂
Have a great weekend, y’all.
Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking 
Bottom line, no pun intended, is that it is up to you to share whatever personal details of your life you choose to share. Period. That an explanation or disclaimer is even necessary is annoying. I kinda feel a little responsible since I recently said I always enjoy hearing more about Erica, the person. And I do. But certainly respect your right to have a private life. Have a great weekend.
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Pam — no no NO, it wasn’t you, or anything you said. Honest. I loved what you commented; it’s nice to know that people are interested in other parts of my life. This was more like, I don’t know, someone saying I was playing you all somehow. Just needed to clear things up a bit for my own peace of mind. 🙂
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Stick to your guns girl . No one is entitled to any information about you our your vanilla life and family . If people are digging for that type of information they are generally up to no good anyway!
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Dad — well… I think it’s just human curiosity, rather than anything nefarious. 🙂 I just didn’t want anyone thinking I’m being a deliberate tease.
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Yes it’s just human curiosity. As far as I’m concerned (and I am concerned) over the years you’ve given out way to much information about your family and “vanilla” career for a person who wishes to keep their real name hidden. You even mentioned that your “cousin” had published his autobiography! Not everyone who reads your posts is a youngster and some in your audience, no doubt, are buffs on the Hollywood stuff and/or know there way around a computer. I’m just saying be careful. If I sound protective of you it’s because I am. We’re kindred spirits and I consider you part of an extended spanko family even though we’re never met. OK now I’ll go back to minding my own business.
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I can’t believe I wrote “know THERE way around” that kind of error must make your editor’s heart sad.
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SS — very good point taken. I don’t mind your saying so at all; it’s quite valid. Believe me, for everything I have revealed, there’s so much more that I wanted to and didn’t! (sigh) This discretion thing is for the birds! In a perfect world, I could be who I am in the kink world AND be open about the rest of my life too.
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> Who knows. Maybe when I’m older, everyone in question has passed on, and none of it matters anymore, I’ll say “screw it” and reveal it all.
But Erica, I read somewhere 🙂 that you’re *90*! What if *you* pass on before we get our answers? Don’t make me get a Ouija board for Questions and Answers month in the blogosphere!
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In these instances I’m so in favor to err on the cautious side. It’s a boundary courtesy extended to “innocent” non spanking friends/family which shows class. To have a spanking passion is awesome for the person it pertains to. But like you acknowledged it’s too easy to link people to one another. A little digging can go a long way and for your family or others’ associates who don’t enjoy the lifestyle I completely agree it could bring about scrutiny, disdain and judgement from them onto us and or the “embarrassment/ridicule onto them from malicious sources.
On the other hand, for all you know each of your family members could be spankos but perhaps that’s best left to your imagination for now. LOL
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Anonymous — ha! That would be FetLife you’re referring to, where I list my age as 90. Best move I ever made on there — stopped all the age comments! 🙂
A. — you get it. It’s a dilemma for me, and a little sad. I’m proud of them… but I don’t think they’d be especially proud of me!
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Of course you just share hat you wish to share – no more and o less.
More difficult to grasp for me is your self-description as a kinky skeleton. I mean: kinky, OK – but skeleton?!???
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MrJ — it’s just an expression, not a self-description. When one is said to have “a skeleton in the closet,” it means they have a secret they’d rather not reveal. 🙂
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Sure / but I found the metaphor to unfitting, even on this weblog.;-)
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Hi Erica ♡ It’s so cool that your Dad and stepmother and cousin were famous 🙂 Am I to young to know who your Dad was? That’s funny that someone said you were 90 on Fetlife, I am a little over a hundred on Facebook HAHAHAHAHA LOL 😉 I did that to be funny 🙂 Wishing you and John a Lovely weekend ♡ Much Love and hugs always from naughty girl Jade / Emily Jean xxxxx ♡
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Hi, I would like to ask since you have experience on the topic. Is it normal to want discipline bare bottom spankings as a young adult. If so how would I come across a disciplinarian cause I’m sure it would be strange to ask my mom since I’m 21 years old. I guess it’s cause I was good at lying my way out of spankings when I was little and was never on my bare bottom so I barely felt it. So it’s like I got away with a lot even when I was punished and feel later in life in need of discipline.
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Jade — I don’t think you’d know my father by name. But you’re not too young to recognize some of the people he worked for. 🙂
NaughtyJ — well… this isn’t really on the topic of this particular post. But I’ll try to answer it for you anyway. Don’t worry about being normal. “Normal” is what works for you and what makes you happy, as long as it’s safe, consensual and legal. No, I wouldn’t ask your mother, or any relative. You may want to start exploring some of the spanking- and fetish-oriented sites and connecting with some like-minded folks. I don’t know where you live, but perhaps there are groups with munches or parties, where you can meet others who have the same desires you do. You quite literally have the world at your fingertips, and many ways to connect with other spankos, which is a wonderful advantage that I definitely didn’t have at 21. Be safe, be careful, and most important, have fun and be true to yourself.
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This is the second (0r third; there’s one borderline case) time just this year that I’ve posted something that made you feel bad. I think as a matter of courtesy I should stop replying. I won’t un-subscribe from you; I’ll still read what you offer. I’ll simply STFU about what I think of it.
One last thing before I go: In this specific case, I think what you were doing interacted with a specific weakness of mine. My kinkiness has a strong voyeuristic or stalk-ery aspect to it. I realize that’s an indirect, cowardly way of asserting control or dominance, versus the way would-be Tops are supposed to do it, by throwing out our chests and exuding a aura of command (which only works for those of us who HAVE a aura of command).
So, anyway, what to you was saying as much as you could, to me was perceived as hints. “Okay, if I Google TV producers married to dancers, will I get anything?” I think you even mentioned a specific TV show once and I went to the IMDb and scrolled through everyone who had ever written (or produced, I can’t remember which and am not going to go back and try to look it up in your past posts) an episode. It feels like what I’m SUPPOSED to do with the information; it feels (irrationally; inappropriately) like you are ASKING us to pry. And when it doesn’t work, I think “Maybe she changed just enough details so we couldn’t find it” and I experience that as frustration. Even though all you ever wanted to do was brag.
So now I’m NOT going to make a mental list of funny TV skits (Carol Burnett wearing the curtain rod across her shoulder? — can’t be Tim Conway and the elephant story, because Conway “wrote” that himself, I’m pretty sure) and try to cross-reference it with actresses who also dance. I’m just not. You didn’t give us what I perceive as “all those hints” because you wanted your privacy violated. You’re not trying to drive US nuts — it’s the other way around, it drives YOU nuts not to be able to brag on family members of whom you are proud.
I think I get that now, but my … okay, I’ll say something we kinksters are not even supposed to THINK, my mental disorder won’t see it that way, it sees it the other way. So I have to overcome that.
(I guess kink becomes a mental disorder when it messes up our lives or causes us to mess up the lives of others, so I qualify.)
Anyway, sorry to make you feel bad. I’ll be quiet now.
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I have no idea how I typed a 0 instead of an o in the first line of my post. For some screwy reason, 0 and o look THE SAME in this box we type in, so I didn’t notice the error till I posted it, because once posted, they do NOT look the same.
You appear to be a proofreader or copy editor in your day job, so I felt I should apologize for the typo.
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Erica,
IMHO everyone that reads your blog is a voyeur of sorts. That is not to be considered an insult to anyone. If your passing comments, or hints, as some may see it, are considered teasing, well then so be it. It’s your life, your family, your blog. Write what you want and remember to just be true to yourself – like you always tell us to be.
Personally, I don’t read your blog to learn about your family. I read your blog to get hot and bothered and to get my imagination going. Oh, and sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall!
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Hi Erica,
I know your secret and you have every right to feel very, very proud. The history of television cannot be written without an entire chapter on your family. You now extend this tradition of brilliance into a whole new medium.
Big hugs,
Bonnie
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There seems to be a belief that we “The public” have some sort of right to know everything and anything about everyone else. provided of course that you leave THEIR privacy intact. How much or how little you wish to share with people about your private life is the is your right. that is why we call it privacy!
Erica puts herself out there probably more than any other person I know of in this scene. I always thought her stories of who she was and how she came to be where she is in life as she related in her book and her blogs had to include her family dynamic. No one has a right to anything more than you are willing to share.
In the end I am impressed that you took that huge leap of faith to write your book and I am impressed and enjoyed what you shared about your private life. If that is not enough for people then perhaps they should consult Webster for the definition of privacy!
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Michael — I’m glad you get it now, that I wasn’t trying to screw with people here or cause frustration. It’s not so much what you say, I think; I mean, all my readers are welcome to express opinions. It’s the way you said it, on tweets, in a very brief but challenging way. Same thing with the tweets about my eating disorder and how I felt about the comments people make about me sometimes. It came off a little judge-y. I know that it’s difficult to put nuance and shading in 140 characters, but that was my knee-jerk reaction. Then again, I’ve been known to be hypersensitive.
I’m sorry you put in all that time searching! I can understand how I played into that side of you and I’m sure it was a bit crazy-making.
And yes, I am a proofreader/copyeditor. No secret there. 🙂 Typos happen; as long as I can figure out what people meant, I’m good.
CarolBeth — you don’t want to be a fly on the wall. You might get hit with a stray implement! 😉
Bonnie — you are such a love. ♥ Thank you.
Mark — I really don’t fault people for being curious. I would be too! I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t trying to play games, even though I know it could have come off that way.
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Erica, you come from an illustrious family, and I applaud your desire to protect them. The autobiography was awesome!
Hugs,
Hermione
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Hermione — thank you! 🙂
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Those of us who explore our feeling ought to have a special regard for the whole concept of respecting the feelings of others.
We certainly expect it for ourselves often enough. We must. Therefore, we ought to be first in line to respect others.
I’m aware of the many times and places when those who explore nonetheless judge others and trample on feelings. Their failure highlights the rule and their hypocrisy.
Good for you. Good example.
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Mark — me, a good example? Since when? 😉
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I was making a general observation about peoples “motives” You are probably correct . However in the world today one cannot be to careful . And I am old enough to Know Names , However I cant remember names anyway . lololololol
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Erica, you have every right to be proud of your family. For the credentials of the many Emmy Awards that they won must have truly been deserved. Yes, your blog of writings tell me you certainly inherited their bygone writing talents. XXX Luv ya
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Six — I hope so. 🙂
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I think you are making the right choice. No one really needs to know who your family is to enjoy your stories. No one benefits if you reveal who your family members are, except maybe some stalkers.
Personally, I like that you’ve hinted without coming right out and saying who they are. You’ve left enough clues that people who are really interested can find out, but without confirming anything.
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Ben — you know, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. If people know, they know. I just don’t want unknowing bystanders to be embarrassed by the association with me. Which is kind of a crummy way to feel, but it is what it is.
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