Revisiting the “Dreaded Mush-Butt”

How many of you go wayyy back with me, reader-wise? As in, when this blog was on MySpace? Six years ago, in April 2010, I posted about one of my biggest peeves in spanking photos. I decided, since I’m not seeing any improvement in this scourge, it was time to revisit the topic. Before anything else, I will repost the original piece of writing. Many of you didn’t see it the first time, but who remembers this? (Sorry, the photos are a bit blurry.)

April 13, 2010 — Disclaimer: The following is My Opinion Only. Your opinions may vary. Feel free to chime in either way.

Bet you guys know what I’m talking about just from the title, without seeing an example. Anyone who has ever been in spanking videos or photo shoots, had spanking pictures taken of them or simply viewed these pics online knows. Some call it an “impact shot”; I call it the “dreaded mush-butt shot” (hereinafter called the DMBS). A photo that captures the exact moment when the hand or implement strikes the bottom and flattens it.

A lot of men seem to like these shots. I can’t speak for all women, but I can (and do) speak for this woman — I detest them! I think they are criminal. Universally unflattering, no matter what kind of bottom the woman has. NOTE: This is not a weight commentary. It doesn’t matter what size, weight or shape the bottom is; when it’s photographed in this manner, the most perfect bottom on the planet will still look lumpy, squished and misshapen.

That poor girl. She must have cringed at the above shot. Who wouldn’t? What woman wants to see her bum smooshed out like that? Bottoms are beautiful things; full, rounded and smooth. Don’t show them like this, for God’s sake. Where’s your humanity?

We’ve all had the DMBS crop up amongst our photos. Yours truly has had them too. But I make damn sure, whenever possible, that they are swiftly relocated to the cyber trash.

Of course, some of this flattening is due to (again, My Opinion Only) poor technique. Look how these men are striking — completely flat-handed. Hello — your hand is not a board, and the bottom is not a tough cut of meat to be flattened. Take a minute to cup your hand to the bottom you’re spanking; form your fingers around it, take on its shape. Then your smacks will be delivered with a crisp SNAP instead of a dull thud, and the pain and sting will be imparted without pounding down your target like bread dough.

Such an otherwise lovely photo, a lovely behind. Too bad the spanker is plowing into her like a pile driver.

So to recap, folks — just stay away from the DMBS. Don’t take them. If you take them by accident, delete them. I really don’t think any woman wants to see her butt in that state on the Internet. Be kind. Be flattering. Show your spankees in their most flattering photos.

Of course, with some heavy, thuddy, flat implements like thick wooden paddles and solid, inflexible straps, the DMBS is inevitable:

The solution? Simple. Avoid these implements altogether. They suck anyway.  Oh, and while you’re at it, avoid that position too. But that’s another subject.

End of original. As I recall, this actually got Chrossed; his tag line for the post was “I guess I like them.” (It’s OK, sir, I forgive you.)

What brings this up again? Like I said, I’m not seeing any fewer of these atrocities. Here’s the latest one that got my cringe on.

An otherwise perfect photo. Hunky guy, beautiful naked girl, a lovers’ spat in the boudoir. He’s oh-so toppily gripping her hair (yes, I know that’s not a word. Shut up. Blogger’s license) and uttering a yummy challenge.

Aaaaaand he’s giving the poor girl a most unattractive case of Pancake Ass. Am I the only one whose eye is irretrievably drawn away from all the sexy aspects of this photo to focus on the flattened Frisbee that is her backside?

And finally, does this hand have a license plate? I’d like to report it.

By the way, I have no idea where any of these photos are from — I plucked them at random from a search of “spanking impact shots.” If you know the origin of any of them, please feel free to identify them.

But my point remains the same: The DMBS needs to be eradicated. There ought to be a law. Bottoms, rise up and let your voices be heard. Stop allowing the posting of pictures where a bottom is more flattened than roadkill. It’s just wrong. Some of us log too many hours in the gym to countenance our bottoms looking like a deflated ball the cat dragged in.

And on that note, I’m headed to the gym. Happy Monday.

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