The art of clever bratting

Yeah, I’m still here. I figured I’d come back when I had something fun to post. Today, I do.

In my nearly 20 years in the scene, people have often read my thoughts on bratting, a spanko behavior that has a bad reputation with many. Why? Because it’s not done cleverly and with a light touch — too often, it’s executed in a heavy-handed manner that is more annoying than provocative. I’ll reiterate my personal favorite metaphor: Clever bratting is a feather tickling a top’s nose, not an anvil slamming onto his foot.

Good bratting is a tease, and if done right, should make the top smile in spite of himself. He should want to spank the minx’s bottom, not wring her neck.

What got me started on this? Recently, Sarah Gregory released a video, starring Kajira Bound and UlfSayer, called “Lumberjack Spanking.” In it, U played a Canadian lumberjack (complete with green flannel plaid shirt) and K is a bratty American, making fun of him until he decides to take her in hand. You can read about it here, and in the meantime, here’s a picture:

What of it? Of course, being of a certain age, I couldn’t help but think of Monty Python when I saw this, and their classic “Lumberjack Song.” A show of hands — who hasn’t heard of it? Who hasn’t heard of Monty Python? (Spankos, of course you have, even if you don’t think so. Who among us has never heard the lines “Bad Zoot! Naughty Zoot!”) Anyway, for those who don’t recall, the Lumberjack Song starts out with a man singing about being all macho and slowly slides into a ditty about a cross-dresser, while his sweetheart goes from beaming happily to openly weeping. (No, it’s not politically correct. But come on, it’s Monty Python.)

In a mischievous moment, I took this link, pasted it into a tweet, and posted it to K & U, since we all follow one another on Twitter. I figured it was good for a giggle or two.

But Kajira grabbed the brat ball and ran with it.

Last weekend, while John and I were at lunch, I was thumbing through my Twitter notifications and saw that U had replied to my tweet (which K had liked, retweeted and commented on). It seems the alarm on his phone had “somehow” been changed to the Lumberjack Song.

I burst out laughing in the middle of the restaurant, no doubt startling everyone around me. Brilliance. Sheer brilliance.

But wait, there’s more. Today, U tweeted that K had also purchased napkins in a plaid flannel pattern. I damn near fell off my chair.

This, my friends, is a classic example of clever bratting. It’s funny. It’s creative. It harms no one, insults no one, doesn’t mess up anyone’s clothes or break anything. The payback will be as fun as the execution of the prank. Silly String and water guns are for the Brat Bush League. Kajira has firmly established herself as being in the Majors.

I’m so proud.

As an aside, I’ve had an affinity for the Lumberjack Song for a long time. Years ago, when we were at Shadow Lane, John began a tradition of singing to me, when I couldn’t get out of bed during the day:

♪ She’s a cutie-pie and she’s OK,
She’s spanked all night and she sleeps all day!♫

😀

(To everyone who commented on my last post, or who wrote to me, who cared, thank you. I’ll have more about that another time. Today, I just wanted some fun.)

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