Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

OT: May I vent, just a little?

Don’t worry. I’m not going to talk about politics, or about terrorism, or about guns. Although the circumstances of late have got me on edge and are making my tolerance a lot lower for life’s little aggravations. So if y’all don’t mind, I need to blow off a little steam here, over my First World Problems.

My mother passed away in 2012, and my stepfather in 2014. Here it is the middle of 2016, and would you believe all the details of their trust still aren’t fully resolved?? I won’t bore you with who’s who and what’s what, but let’s just say certain people haven’t been cooperating. Not responding to requests, not communicating, not providing what’s needed. And so, things drag on and on and on. Why do people have to be so damn difficult? I have my crazy stepsister’s all-caps emails and one of her drunken rants saved on my voice mail. What a piece of work. She got more money than anyone else in the will, and she’s still complaining. In her last message, she slurred, “I wish Dad were here so I could shake some sense into him.” Really? THAT’S why you want your dad here? Ick. I wish she didn’t have my address and phone number. Thank goodness for caller ID.

Also, remember at the end of last year when I had a root canal and a crown restoration? Guess how much of that my dental insurance covered? Zero. WTF is the point of having dental insurance if they don’t pay for anything? Oh yeah, they cover cleanings and x-rays. Big whoop. But as soon as you need anything besides that, they deny you. I spent a fair amount of time online researching the racket that is dental insurance, and discovered that unless I pay a fortune, I’m not getting any decent coverage. If your dental insurance is covered by your office group plan, give thanks. Because an individual paying for their own plan is screwed. Soooooo… I am now trying something different: A dental discount plan. You pay a small annual fee, and then all your dental procedures are discounted. Not free, mind you. They’re still expensive. Just not as expensive. For example, the root canal that cost me $1300 would have cost $700. I spent about forty-five minutes on the phone with an agent today who explained it all to me. The good news? No waiting period. I’m on the plan immediately. More good news? My dentist and endodontist accept the plan. So now, if my teeth continue to fall apart, at least I won’t go broke as quickly. The plan is Aetna, so at least it’s not some Joe Blow dental plan that will get bought out before I get to use it.

But what a headache. This, on top of paying over $800 a month for medical insurance. This is the downside of self-employment. Still… I wouldn’t have it any other way. Everything comes with a price.

And finally — those of you who have been with me for a while, or who read my book, know that I had the Stepmother From Hell, my father’s third wife. When he finally wised up and unloaded her, he stayed close with her son, B, who is about eight years younger than I am. When Dad passed away, B came to help me with packing up his place, and he came to Dad’s memorial. He was a decent kid, nothing like his mother. After that, we kind of fell out of touch. I knew he had married and had a couple of kids (I got the Christmas cards and the erstwhile email), but we didn’t communicate otherwise. This week, clear out of the blue, I got email from him. Said he’s been through some “crazy life changes” and would love to get together to catch up. Coffee? Sure, I said. We agreed for this Thursday. This morning, he wrote again, asking if we could do lunch instead. Said he had to do something for his son later that afternoon, and that “wouldn’t leave sufficient time for his long-lost sister.”

I know he meant that in the nicest possible way. I know I should be flattered that he thinks of me that way. But I couldn’t help it; I felt creeped out. “I’m not your sister,” I thought. “I had a brother. You aren’t him. And I don’t share any of that bat-shit crazy woman’s blood with you.” Am I horrible? I don’t mean to be this way, but you have to understand — his mother made my life hell for years. I know it’s not his fault, but seeing him, hearing from him, reminds me of her and I feel almost sort of a PTSD. I mean, to this day I still can’t stand to hear the c-word, because she called me that all the time.

And what does he want, anyway, after all these years? What are these crazy life changes? Divorce? Am I a terrible person for wondering if he needs money for some reason? Ugh. Between John’s family and mine, I’ve known way too many truly crappy people. I am suspicious, and I don’t like being that way.

So yeah. I’m meeting B for lunch on Thursday. I am curious. And my dad was very fond of him. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to meet up and hear him out. I’ll just have to brace myself to hear about his mother. Maybe the witch is dead. Ding dong! Oh, please. Trust me, B has no illusions about Mommie Dearest. Years ago, when his first child was born, he said something along the lines of “I don’t want her [his mother] to come anywhere near him.” I think she’d be somewhere in her late seventies now.

Oy. I need to get my spank on. Soon. And I am way overdue for a Girls’ Night Out. I am hoping that both will happen next week. Meanwhile, this week I will stay busy with work and do my best to maintain some semblance of sanity in a world of chaos.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you…

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16 thoughts on “OT: May I vent, just a little?

  1. I can relate to a good deal of your feelings regarding both your step sister and your step brother… I understand your reticence to gaving lunch with your step brother, but maybe the changes in his life are positive, and maybe he just wants to share the joy…

    Either way, my thoughts are with you.

    Like

  2. Susan on said:

    Just read and had to comment (IRL I’m a psychotherapist—licensed clinical social worker). So here goes….

    Good for you for getting that off your chest! No you’re not horrible, evil, nasty…for it either. I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your father (and even step-mother)—when our parents die it always has an effect. As I was adopted, my parents were older and died over twenty years ago—my friends are dealing with their parents’ illnesses now…I did back in my 30’s. I can tell you this, it will bring out the pettiness in so many—usually the work falls to one (or two) people, a few supportive individuals are around—then there will be the greedy and the backstabbers; just tends to happen.

    Makes sense to associate the step-brother with the Wicked Witch of The West. Maybe he does just want to re-connect, I mean, you never know. Think its fine to have the guard up. Okay, know you don’t want to hear ’bout ‘ol BHHS, but I was friends with some “movie stars” kids—many NEVER wanted other kids to know who their parents were because some folks just wanted to know them to get to know the parents—they were ALL VERY GUARDED and for very good reasons. (BTW—I was part of the Cultural Diversity Program, started by the late Mr. Lyle Suter, art teacher at Beverly, and didn’t live in BH).

    Anyway, its all good! Gotta take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.

    Sorry ’bout the long reply—I could go on and on…..

    Oh, think insurance is a joke for dental care, I won’t get started on how I have to fight insurance companies to actually GET PAID after I’ve seen patients/clients :O
    Maybe those insurance people need to be spanked!
    Susan

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  3. Deanna — I hope you’re right! I will hold a good thought until Thursday (or try to, anyway).

    Susan — thank you. I’ve lost both my parents, my stepdad and my brother, so I’ve been around this bend a few times. I still have my dad’s second wife (my first stepmother), whom I adore. But she’s 85… (sigh)

    Oh my, you just took me back. Lyle Suter was my art teacher, and he signed my senior yearbook. I just found it in the closet. “I really enjoyed having you as a student, Erica; you have a mind of your own.” ♥

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  4. Anonymous on said:

    This will go either of 2 ways:

    All good or
    He wants something.

    Hoping for the first alternative,

    Anon E. Mouse

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  5. Mark on said:

    My dentist just this last month explained to me that I have the wrong plan. A few do pay for root canals and crowns and stuff. He gave me a list. There were three among the blizzard of plans available. I had no idea.

    I have a cousin whose father remarried an evil witch. She avoided him, because she just had to avoid her. And the woman is evil.

    As her father was dying of cancer, she braved the evil woman, who did make a serious irritant of herself, the lying witch. My cousin has since expressed great sorrow that she did not sooner brave that witch to get to her father.

    I realize that a step-brother is not a father, but half of him is your father. Look for that half in him. You might (or not) be glad you did. You won’t get a do-over if you later realize you ought to have tried.

    Some spanking helps clear the head too. Good luck with it all.

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  6. Graham on said:

    Erica the Americans take the piss out of us English regarding their teeth (GOD KNOW WHY) but I sure don`t have any trouble regarding getting 1st class treatment and the payments here are fine,none of this insurance crap,get yourself into a NHS job sorted,I think you should be flatted he thinks of you as his sister,its a really nice touch,maybe just me but sounds great

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  7. Hope you discover and understand how come your father loved the guy – may help you have a good time.

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  8. Mouse — me too.

    Mark — he is my stepbrother, so he is not half my father. You’re thinking of a half-brother. He is the son of the woman my father married (and fortunately divorced years later), but his father is her first husband. What is it about evil stepmothers? I rarely hear about evil stepfathers, although I know they exist.

    Graham — the various health systems here in America are out of control. But I guess we love our teeth, so we pay. And pay.

    MrJ — I hope so. I guess I’ll find out!

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  9. Anonymous on said:

    Hi Erica, I hope nothing but good comes from both events…teeth that don’t fall out and a nice step brother. If the universe is looking after you all he will want is to reconnect and you will find a friend as well as a step-brother. Good luck
    Downunder Don

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  10. Don — I hope so. I am leery because of all the horrendous memories, but I have to keep reminding myself that he was not responsible for any of them.

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  11. Mike on said:

    Wouldn’t it be interesting if your step brother somehow discovered your alter ego and is a fellow spanko?

    Estates ALWAYS take longer then you should. I’ve heard horror stories from other friends and family members and I’m currently dealing with one of my own. I’m the executor of my dad’s estate (he passed away in 2014) and I’m still dealing with a “to do” that’s a mile long. I actually took the day off from work so I could go to two different banks today. I’ve had to chase people down for signatures. I’ve had to stay on top of so called professional (who charged exorbitant fees for their services) in order to make sure that legally required paperwork was filed by statutorily mandated deadlines and so on and so forth. It is was it is. That said there is light at the end of the tunnel and if all goes well things should be resolved by the end of the year. Hopefully your mom’s and step-dad’s estate will resolve itself sooner rather than later.

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    • Mike — you know, I think that would creep me out!! :-O

      When my dad passed away, his will was simple: I got everything. Bing bang boom, no waiting, no hassles. However, my mother and stepfather’s trust is divided among five heirs, and each one’s distribution is different, so it’s caused a lot of bad feelings. Me? Considering how long they both lived, and how much they had to spend on assisted living, I was surprised there was anything left. I’ll be glad when it’s all over and I don’t have to hear about these people ever again.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. bklynny0856 on said:

    Vent any time you’d like-friends are here for you. Dental insurance is a racket-I’m spreading necessary repairs over 5 years for limits and deductibles. As for family, remember, “You can pick your nose but you can’t pick your family.” Lotsa luck!

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  13. Bklyn — don’t I know it. I wouldn’t have picked most of mine.

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  14. Jadelyn Mathias on said:

    Hiya Erica ♡ I wish you the best of luck with everything 🙂 I know how you feel when you mention a evil Stepmother. I had 2 of them and my Dad’s girlfriend is evil as well 😦 it’s a terrible thing to go through, stress and anxiety and bad feelings are not a good thing at all, I been through it as well and I still go through it. I wish you and I never had to experience this. Much Love and hugs always from naughty girl Jade / Emily Jean xoxoxoxo ♡

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  15. Jade — I’m sorry you had to go through it too.

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