OT: Yup, it’s time again for disgusting food!
OK, I gave you guys a nice long break from my food rants. My last one was a year ago, about disgusting sandwiches. This week, I became aware of a brand-new gastric monstrosity from Burger King that couldn’t be ignored. So, I present to you, their newest side:
Mac ‘n Cheetos.
Because what’s better than macaroni and cheese? Deep-fried portable macaroni and cheese, of course. They’re kinda like mozzarella sticks, but there’s macaroni, too. And they’re encased in a crunchy Cheeto-inspired shell, complete with greasy orange dust that gets all over everything.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, people. I get the allure of mac and cheese, truly I do. Guess who used to eat good old Day-Glo Orange Kraft Macaroni and Cheese by the potful? Yup, yours truly, back in my chubbier days. I am not a fan of cheese, but if it’s mild and melted, and combined with something starchy like bread or pasta, I enjoy it. But I definitely don’t like the Redneck County Fair mode of deep-frying everything. Mind you, a crunchy crust on a mac ‘n cheese casserole can be delicious. But not one made of Cheetos.
Apparently, this is the latest entry in the “fast-food mash-up” trend, along with Taco Bell’s Taco Waffle (a waffle folded into a taco and filled with spicy sausage and eggs, hence mashing up breakfast with Mexican food). I do not trust this term “mash-up,” any more than I trust the latest foodie term, “fusion.” To me, they both mean the same thing: “We’re just throwing a bunch of shit together to see what might work. We have no idea what we’re doing.”
Granted, the serving size of this orange menace isn’t going to kill you: there are just five sticks in a box, costing $2.49. Oh, and if they’re not gross enough, they come with a side of ranch dressing. Ranch?? What the hell for? Who decided on that pairing? Do you pour ranch dressing on your mac ‘n cheese? Of course not! Who made the rule that every goddamn thing in fast food has to have a dipping sauce? There’s melted cheese inside! Isn’t that enough goo for you? (And no, that is not a typo for “good.” I meant “goo.”)
Speaking of nausea (how’s that for a segue), I had to laugh at the Trump insults on Twitter today. I don’t care to repeat most of them, but when I saw that one guy had called Trump “Cheeto-face,” I laughed out loud.
Hey! Maybe Mac ‘n Cheetos should be Trump’s new favorite snack. When he gets that orange crap all over his face, it won’t show.
And on that note… have a great weekend, y’all. 😉