Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

OT: Yup, it’s time again for disgusting food!

OK, I gave you guys a nice long break from my food rants. My last one was a year ago, about disgusting sandwiches. This week, I became aware of a brand-new gastric monstrosity from Burger King that couldn’t be ignored. So, I present to you, their newest side:

Mac ‘n Cheetos.

mac-n-cheetos-box

Because what’s better than macaroni and cheese? Deep-fried portable macaroni and cheese, of course. They’re kinda like mozzarella sticks, but there’s macaroni, too. And they’re encased in a crunchy Cheeto-inspired shell, complete with greasy orange dust that gets all over everything.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, people. I get the allure of mac and cheese, truly I do. Guess who used to eat good old Day-Glo Orange Kraft Macaroni and Cheese by the potful? Yup, yours truly, back in my chubbier days. I am not a fan of cheese, but if it’s mild and melted, and combined with something starchy like bread or pasta, I enjoy it. But I definitely don’t like the Redneck County Fair mode of deep-frying everything. Mind you, a crunchy crust on a mac ‘n cheese casserole can be delicious. But not one made of Cheetos.

Apparently, this is the latest entry in the “fast-food mash-up” trend, along with Taco Bell’s Taco Waffle (a waffle folded into a taco and filled with spicy sausage and eggs, hence mashing up breakfast with Mexican food). I do not trust this term “mash-up,” any more than I trust the latest foodie term, “fusion.” To me, they both mean the same thing: “We’re just throwing a bunch of shit together to see what might work. We have no idea what we’re doing.”

Granted, the serving size of this orange menace isn’t going to kill you: there are just five sticks in a box, costing $2.49. Oh, and if they’re not gross enough, they come with a side of ranch dressing. Ranch?? What the hell for? Who decided on that pairing? Do you pour ranch dressing on your mac ‘n cheese? Of course not! Who made the rule that every goddamn thing in fast food has to have a dipping sauce? There’s melted cheese inside! Isn’t that enough goo for you? (And no, that is not a typo for “good.” I meant “goo.”)

Speaking of nausea (how’s that for a segue), I had to laugh at the Trump insults on Twitter today. I don’t care to repeat most of them, but when I saw that one guy had called Trump “Cheeto-face,” I laughed out loud.

Hey! Maybe Mac ‘n Cheetos should be Trump’s new favorite snack. When he gets that orange crap all over his face, it won’t show.

And on that note… have a great weekend, y’all. 😉

 

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15 thoughts on “OT: Yup, it’s time again for disgusting food!

  1. Bobbie Jo on said:

    Bleck! I won’t be eating that garbage anytime soon! Besides that, I don’t go to burger places on a regular basis. Only on occasion and not for burgers.

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  2. Anonymous on said:

    mash-ups, fusion and what about “animal style” : a bundle that ensures the health insurers don’t go belly-up :^0 Only thing better would be to have a deluxe donut shoved up my ass at the same time!

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  3. Bobbie Jo — I don’t either. Although I like some salads and grilled chicken sandwiches at those places. When we were kids, they never had healthy alternatives, just burgers and fries.

    Anonymous — (shuddering)

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  4. Jadelyn Mathias on said:

    Hiya Erica ♡ That combination sounds so disgusting EWWWW 😦 Who the hell came up with that a witch doctor LOL. I like mac and cheese and cheetos but NOT together. I agree you don’t need ranch sauce for that it’s bad enough all on its own. Just the thought of it makes my stomach sick. Wishing you and John a Lovely weekend ♡ Much Love and hugs always from naughty girl Jade / Emily Jean xxxxx ♡

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  5. I saw that on tv. I’m not huge on the “massive cheese” kind of mac and cheese, I like the baked kind that isn’t orange. Mashups and fusion are pretty much the same thing. It’s just that foodies are pretentious, so they needed a word that fit their douchiness about the subject. LOL This post reminds me, I was watching The Chew yesterday, and they had ice cream from a place that makes weird combinations. One was chicken and waffles, and one was avocado and something, can’t remember what, but avocado ice cream should NOT be a thing.

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    • Q — oh, you really don’t want to get me started on weird-ass ice cream flavors. Your ice-cream maker is not a trash compactor, dammit. Stop throwing all sorts of random crap in there.

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  6. Lindy on said:

    Glad that hasn’t made its way down under. EEEWWW! sounds gross. I’ll stick to my gluten free/dairy free diet any day than ingest those calories.
    Hugs Lindy

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  7. Graham on said:

    Jesus Christ Erica and people wonder why everyone`s catching Cancers eating all that crap,what the hell is wrong,why can`t people just cook some beautiful fresh food,you only need 3 to 4 ingredients in a dish…….BTW did you notice we finally quit that cesspit called the E.U?

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  8. It’s amazing what they dream up to attract business. Who would have thought! They do look like giant Cheetos, but I’m certainly not tempted. I haven’t been to a Burger King in years. We have our own homemade burgers on the barbie.

    Have a great weekend!

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  9. It’s no food, its no foodstuff, it’s… stuff

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  10. Hi Ms. Scott,

    I just wanted to say how much I agree with your comments on “Mac n Cheeto’s”. I find the very idea gross.

    On a different note, I have been trying to subscribe to your blog for months. Every day I go in and request to subscribe. However, the only way I am currently able to receive your posts is by having Bob Holbrook email a copy of the email he gets in his mail. Unfortunately, I am also having this problem with Rollin’s blog. I am unsure what to do. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Deanna Marie

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  11. Lindy — I do love bread and frozen yogurt, so I’d be miserable without gluten and dairy, I’m afraid. But I don’t like crap like this at all.

    Graham — I agree, fresh food is better, but people want convenience, I guess. And the good stuff is more expensive.

    Hermione — I can’t remember the last time I had a hamburger. Turkey burger, yes. But regular good old beef burger, no.

    MrJ — that’s a nice way of putting it.

    Deanna — I wish I knew how to answer that. I don’t subscribe to blogs, I just have certain ones I visit regularly, so I don’t know how to do so. If I figure out how it’s done on WordPress (or if any of my readers know), I will let you know.

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  12. Mimi on said:

    zzzzzzzzzz…

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