Important: please do take a moment and read this
No, not my blog. Today, I am focusing on someone else’s writing. A blog post, to be specific, that highlights yet another piece of writing. Roundabout? Yup. But bear with me.
The piece I’d like you to read is by author Ava Sinclair, entitled Twisting a fetish into abuse: One blogger’s dangerous message that hurts us all. (NOTE: I have tried and tried to link directly to this post, and it’s not working. So go to her blog page, and click on the article at the top.) The writer she’s calling attention to is Matt Forney, someone you probably never heard of (I know I hadn’t, before today). This man exemplifies Every. Wrong. Notion about TTWD. When you link to her blog, do click on the link to his post entitled, “How to Beat Your Wife or Girlfriend and Get Away With It.” I guaran-damn-tee you, your blood will boil. At least I hope it does. Because if you agree with him… I don’t think you and I have much to say to one another.
Ava Sinclair writes spanking erotica (I have had the pleasure of copy-editing several of her books). She writes about women getting spanked. I read about women getting spanked, and I am a woman who gets spanked. Because I choose to. Because I love it, even though I like to pretend I don’t. It’s fully consensual, even though I admit to liking the fantasy of non-consent. No man puts me in my place, and no man spanks me because he wants to “inflict the maximum amount of pain” with “minimal risk” to himself. Any man who has that attitude really doesn’t want to be in the same room with me, because I will verbally rip off his nuts and shove them up his ass. The man I play with are respectful, kind, and are interested in our mutual pleasure. They are not misogynistic, hateful chauvinist pigs whose big fat egos mask their tiny little members.
I will speak out against people like Matt Forney until I no longer have breath in my body. Why? Because I need to. Because people need to be told that what we do isn’t about beating women because they deserve it, no matter what jerk-offs like this say.
By the way — yes, I know that Slate called Forney out as being one of Trump’s followers at the RNC. That is not, repeat, not why I’m writing this. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass what this moron’s political leanings are. What I do care about is that he’s spreading a poisonous, sexist message about something I and many others love, making a sick joke of it, and I won’t stand for it.
So please, go read Ava’s blog that I linked above. Comment on it. Share it with others. Don’t let the Matt Forneys of the world taint our pleasurable, consensual fetish.
Oh… and Slate made a point of showing a picture of Matt Forney and saying that he is not married. No shit, Sherlock!
Have a great weekend, y’all.
Hiya Erica ❤ What that bloody idiot said makes my blood boil as well 😠 How dare he think it’s ok to beat women, and to make a fetish we enjoy something that it’s not, He is a piece of shit 😦 People like him are a big disgrace to the human race. Wishing you and John a Lovely weekend. Much Love and hugs always from naughty girl Jade / Emily Jean xxxxx ❤💙💚💛💜💓💖💟
This guy is not a spanker, he’s a criminal. What he’s talking about is not a spanking, it is a case of assault and battery.
I can’t imagine why he would even want to do such a thing. Myself I would get no pleasure at all from spanking a woman in a way she doesn’t like.
For me the three orders of priority in a spanking are:
1 As we say a spanking should be safe, sane and consensual.
Safe is the first adverb for reason. I would never do anything to harm a woman I am spanking, even if she wanted me to.
2 The second most important thing is her enjoyment and the satisfaction of her emotional needs.
3 My enjoyment, I enjoy spanking a woman only if she enjoys being spanked. Her enjoyment comes second, mine comes third and of course safety comes first.
I am an attorney. I’ve handled cases of consensual spanking play charged as domestic abuse. It is amazing how busybodies can intrude, misunderstand, get judgmental, and pursue that. I’ve had to go all the way to a state Supreme Court, but we won.
It is not easy. This guy would go to jail. In fact, asserting it and having it rejected after the other person complains would get him extra jail time. He’d be looking at at least a year, and being both a felon and a registered sex offender.
The law does not favor this explanation. It is harsh in custody cases. It charges domestic abuse and pursues it despite the “victim’s” desperation to stop them. If the victim wants to push it, the guy would be destroyed.
The law is not kind to those with our kink, but it is extraordinarily harsh to anyone who tries what this guy suggests.
I read it. He is advocating abuse. No matter how he twists things, it’s abuse, plain and simple.
In my opinion, he is a sick and pathetic excuse for a human.
Great find! Thank you for sharing Ava’s post with us. Ava is correct when she says that many CDD blogs advocate that kind of treatment of women. Forney probably has lots of readers who agree with him. What an idiot he is. It figures that he is a Trump supporter.
I tried to leave her a comment but that requires a Facebook account, and I’m not going there.
Erica, I have said this many times. If one engages themselves in the fetish of ‘spanko’, it must be between TWO CONSENTING ADULT”S. PERIOD.
It is difficult to choose the most appropriate adjective for this guy: ignorant, dangerous, sexist, stupid, cheap, un-stylish, …
This reminds me of a Law and Order type of episode where the criminal is a highly intelligent-very well known politician or lawyer who used his clout to bully and frighten people into doing what he DEMANDS!
He implies the victims are too weak willed to pursue criminal complaints. He’s long overdue for a SMASH in the face dose of reality if he behaves this way towards women.
Beautiful and well stated post. Thank you
I wholeheartedly agree with all of the previous comments. If you chose to read any of his other posts, you would see he is a pot stirrer making comments to be edgy and fuel enquirer like headlines. If his articles were in a newspaper, they would make great hamster cage lining
I only read so far and I couldn’t read any further. The guy is an Alpha Hotel and that is being kind, I think. I could say a lot of other things as well. As for those who think Trump is a magnet for these creeps, I disagree. There are just as many of these types of creeps on the liberal side as well. There are also decent people on both sides. Many decent people.
Jade — sadly, there are way too many like him.
Anonymous — agree X3.
Mark — wow, really, Supreme Court? You must be listed in the NCSF organization.
CarolBeth — at the very least, I don’t think he likes women very much.
Hermione — ah, forgot that it was linked to Facebook. No worries. I did take heart in that many of the comments on his post were negative. He probably just laughs at that, though.
Six — yes.
MrJ — reprehensible?
Anonymous — did you see a picture of him? He looks like he was already smashed in the face, repeatedly. *snark*
Ron — thanks.
Anonymous — I definitely will pass on his other stuff. My stomach could barely handle the first one.
Bobbie Jo — I refuse to get into the political side of this, so I’m not going to state my own thoughts on that aspect. Suffice it to say, this guy’s an ass, and we have no use for him.
I was once part of Kink Aware Professionals. They’ve since merged. It has been awhile.
Any time read something like this I wonder to myself what is really going on inside this guy’s head. Does he really believe this crap and if so how does he rationalize something so obviously wrong? How do you come up with a logic that simply will not stand up to even the slightest self examination and yet stick to it and advocate it for other people?
I want it to lead me to the conclusion that he is just stirring things up but I have met too many people who truly believe things like this and there is no talking sense to them. They choose to remain ignorant even when presented with incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.
That was me.
Bob — I don’t even care what he believes, you know? My worry is that OTHERS believe him. Others read this crap and think this is how what we do works. It sickens me.
Low information people are vulnerable. It takes some time and effort to gain real, reliable information. New people all start out low information, vulnerable, and it can take awhile for them to learn. Remember how it has been for yourself and your friends. It has gotten a bit easier, but not easy. Sometimes it can take too long for their own good.
I suppose people who have no clue about adult spanking might get the wrong idea but most people would know he’s a crackpot.
Thanks for raising our awareness about this. I’ll go there now…
Quai — glad to do it.
Well now! That certainly provoked a few responses didn’t it.
Yes, I think reprehensible covers it about as well as possible.
Think I’ll turn on the “full ignore” switch in my brain.
Anon E. Mouse
Mouse — yeah, I’m needing to do a lot of that lately.
Without going too much into a tirade about this guy here are just a few comments.
This guy is a mess, a bully who has found a voice thanks to social media. He is like so many others out there unfortunately. I’ve met quite a few. He sells his hatred (especially of women) to other men of low self-esteem and has a following).
Amongst his devious actions, has he pretended to be a women in writing (pretending to me a female in a CDD relationship) and admitted to it. Why would he do this you ask? It is not that the believes in this but rather that he is smart enough to know that he can get others to act on his thoughts and gets amusement and pleasure from it all; the psychotic amusement and joy of finding out others have followed his advice and hurt others.
Guys like these are one of the reasons why people keep their fetishes hidden away. Because as a women you fear ever meeting a lunatic like this bent on just hurting you. As man out there trying to explain to a women yes I want to spank you, but not I don’t want to damage you nor do I hate women.
I tied to comment on Ava’s post, but could not not did I see any other comments, am I missing something?
Enzo — I share your outrage, of course. Hmmm… you may have overlooked something. She currently has five comments on her post, one of which is mine. However, you have to have a Facebook account to comment; maybe that’s the issue?