You know what?
I think, next time I go to a party and then want to write a report, I will switch things up a bit. I’ll post a couple of pictures (and make sure to include butt ones this time), and then I’ll write: “A good time was had by all. The end.”
Because fuck it. Any more than that and people’s eyes glaze over, according to the dearth of reads and comments on my last report. Why bother with remembering details, sequences and anecdotes? They are of little interest, on here and on FetLife as well.
And I think I should probably cut way back on the candid revelations of my vulnerabilities/insecurities. No one wants to read about Erica and her silly meltdowns and melodramas. They’re all dealing with their own stuff, their own lives.
To add insult to injury, something in my latest report (which has since been edited) ended up offending a friend. It was completely unintentional, I feel dreadful, and I have apologized profusely, but the damage is done. Yet another case for just shutting the hell up.
I’ll be more careful about the pictures I post and where I post them. On Facebook, I put up one of the glamour shots John took of me in the corset, because it was sexy but tasteful. The very first comment that appeared? “Naughty Granny.”
Of course, many people added their thoughts and compliments and likes after that, and a few of them had choice words for the man who called me a granny. I appreciated it all. But no amount of sweetness could eradicate the nasty taste left by that first comment.
Party drop? Sure. It’s bad. But I’m not posting this in the throes of post-party roller coaster. I thought about it all day yesterday, while the crickets were chirping.
So, I guess the tradition of post-party tomes has aged out, in the age of photos, instant likes, and little else. Noted.
That’s all.
Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking 
I read your party reports. As a former party goer, I understand what you are saying and it sounds fairly standard. Just the players are different.
I was never able or willing to do the late nights. Midnight was my limit. I would hear about all the exciting things I missed the next day.
I have wondered what John does at parties. I suppose if he wanted me to know he would have his own blog. Still I wonder.
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Erica, I, for one, enjoy your “darkly humorous blathering,” even if I don’t comment. I’m sorry that you inadvertently offended someone, and I’m sorry that someone insensitively referred to you as a “granny” of any sort. Thanks for blogging.
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Bogey — no need to wonder; I can tell you. It’s true, John doesn’t play at these things. But other than that, he does the same things I do. He socializes, he laughs, he hugs, he catches up, he enjoys our friends. And he is my companion, through the entire roller coaster weekend, the ups and the downs. I cannot imagine ever being at a party without him.
Biker — thank you.
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Hello
I have a serious foot-in-mouth problem esp when I hear myself saying something completely off. I must limit my comments because the last thing I want to do is offend or injure anyone.
I wanted to thank you in person for signing my copy of “Late Bloomer” but I got too emotional and thought it wasn’t appropriate to cry on someone who I admire so much.
Emanuele
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Emanuele — it was my pleasure. You’re very sweet.
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I for one enjoy your party reports. Especially since the odds of my ever going to one are between slim and none. (As you and I have discussed, I’m a male bottom who is into male male spankings and I’m aware of only one party that offers to what amounts to a brief interlude for those of us of my persuasion.) Would it be fun to go to Shadowlane (or Boardwalk Badness or one of the other parties)? Yes. It would be nice to finally get to meet you and some of the other people that you talk about. But I most likely wouldn’t get to play — at least not without making other people very uncomfortable. (I certainly would never do it publicly for the same reason.) Would it be fun to mingle with the stars of some of my favorite videos? Yes. I can and do enjoy male female videos. (That’s how I became aware of you.) Since I’m most likely never going to go the Shadowlane, it’s very enjoyable to live vicariously through your eyes.
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Don’t go by me as far as not reading or commenting. I’ve been held captive for the past two weeks by my mom who is in two casts almost up to the elbows, so I’m WAY behind on blog reading. Other than that, except for the offending passage, post what YOU want to post. If you start trying to please everybody, you’ll go crazy.
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Before thias post, I had no clue something was wrong with your reports, your picture or you.
After this post, I still don’t know.
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Mike — the parties are not everyone’s cup of tea. Yes, they are fun, but they are physically and emotionally intense.
Jen — *shrug* Posting with little response or readership is like talking to yourself.
MrJ — there is nothing wrong with them. They’re simple not of interest like they once were.
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I´m far from sure.
But I forgot to add that I can see that iy hurts when you appear to have hurt, unintendedly, a friend.
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I enjoy your blogposts. I get to live vicariously thru you as I was too shy to sign up for SL. I live in LV and it does have a lot to offer for non gamblers. Would love to give recommendations ☺. Keep up the posts.
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Please don’t stop writing! I check your blog daily and I’ve read every single post. I discovered your blog about 2 years ago, loved what I saw and started from the very beginning. Your blog led me to your book which ultimately led to helping me take my first steps in finally acknowledging my desires and interest in spanking, It’s been a little over a year since my first spanking and I’m only a few months away from my first party. Your posts, especially your party posts, have given me the opportunity to see what this world of ours is about, providing me a window to look through until I chose to find the courage to open and walk through the door.
The instant gratification obsession that consumes the population does not apply to all of us. Pictures and captions only tell some of the story, your writing speaks the whole truth. A friend is offended? That person should accept your apology and move on if they truly value you as a person and a friend. For what it’s worth, and it may not be much, but I think you’re a beautiful person inside and out who has much to share with the world.
Okay, rant over. Thank you for what you do and thank you for assisting me in my making my first comment on any blog somewhat of a novel. 😉
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(Waving arms above head) Wait! Wait! There’s something I need to tell you.
Blogger acquired a new bug this week where links to non-Blogger blogs are not refreshed. As a result, your update did not appear on my blog or any other Blogger blog that links yours. I suggest that your post is every bit as wonderful as always, but fewer people saw it.
I wouldn’t presume to tell you to blog or not blog, except to say that I love your posts.
Big hugs,
Bonnie
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People who write nasty comments or back stab do so because they are insecure or just plain jealous.The person who wrote the comment will just be some stupid little piss ant who lives in Torquay, who`s got a 2 inch dick and won`t know what to do with it anyway.
Just keep doing what your doing,its great stuff we all love it and love you too
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I greatly enjoyed your party report. It was long, but it was entertaining and I liked your on-the-ground reporting. And I like your other musings, dark or happy or sad. Please don’t cut back, some of us read and just don’t comment often.
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Erica I really enjoy your party reports. I live in the UK so the chances of getting to one were a bit remote, even more so now that I’m in a wheelchair. So please keep writing!
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Without a doubt my tastes/preferences have transformed over the years or as I SHOULD say, even after experimenting with various dynamics I returned to square 1 with what really thrills me.
I enjoy your posts/pics, etc. But don’t always comment if I don’t share the same perspective because I feel my comments bear more appreciation when I am in agreement with the blog topics. I know my ULTIMATE scene dynamic differs 100% from yours. LOL!!! But that’s ok. M-F spanking is right behind for me. 🙂
In all honesty I think my overall ‘national/party scene’ interest has waned to a near non-existent status for VARIOUS reasons spanning over the last 3-5 years.
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Kelly — maybe someday you’ll join us?
Katie — thank you, dear. Comments like yours make me want to keep going, truly. I’m always happy to hear that I’ve had a positive impact on someone. I don’t have any plans to quit writing… I just think I’m going to stop the lengthy party reports. They belong to another time.
Bonnie — thanks for letting me know. That might explain this week, certainly. But my views and comments have been way down for a lot longer than that. Plus, I linked the party report to Twitter and FetLife, so plenty of people saw it nonetheless.
I won’t stop blogging yet. But I am definitely rethinking the way I blog, especially the long party reports.
Graham — I think two-inch dick is probably being generous… (sigh)
Ben — thank you.
David — I’m glad you enjoy them, thank you.
A. — you never have to worry about not agreeing with me. I know we have very different scene turn-ons! It doesn’t matter.
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While you are probably right about many of us dealing with our own lives, that does not mean we have no interest in yours, Erica. I, like Katie mentioned in another comment, live vicariously through your detailed accounts of your party adventures. I am also very interested in your everyday happenings. I love reading about John making you laugh with his crazy sense of humor, I enjoy reading about your exciting scenes with Steve, and I share your sadness and pain through all the rough and dark times in life. I am very sorry that I do not comment nearly as often as I used to, but as you know I have been dealing with my own stuff. I certainly understand the feelings and fears of being abandoned and forgotten, and all I can offer is reassurance that you are most definitely not alone even when the comment counts are down. I will support you if you decide to change the way you blog, but please know that I think it’s perfect the way it is because it is you and we (your readers) love and care for you. ♥
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I, for one, loved the whole report but was rather lax in not liking or commenting, so please accept my apologies. I also enjoy reading everything you post, no matter how deep or flippant. Keep it up please.
In my own journey with this thing we do I appreciate the psychology of it all as I still sometimes struggle with it. Despite my wife’s willingness to facilitate my kinkiness I can still feel alone and rather strange about it even though I try to make it as normal as possible.
We don’t roleplay, we don’t do punishments. She spanks me because, well, it just feels so darned good and in all I have read so far is more akin to a lot of female spankees. I am not effeminate in any way, shape or form and my wife doesn’t want to dominate me or lead our household, and neither do I want her to. We are equal partners in this marriage and love each other dearly and it is because she loves me and sees how much I need it that she accommodates me so. She understands I have the need but doesn’t get “it” if you know what I mean. So far though, it’s an arrangement that works quite well.
Enough of my blathering. Thankyou Erica. I may not comment much but please know that I am always reading. (I will try to comment more)
Happy Spankings,
Yorkie.
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I’m another reader who is never going to get to a Shadowlane or any other kind of spanking party, but lives vicariously through your reports. It took me years to comment at all on your posts, partly for fear of offending unintentionally or sounding like an idiot for padding catlike around a world I’m interested in but not part of.
I read all of your party reports, look forward to them because that is as close as I’m likely to get. Since I’m the world’s worst journal-keeper but do write up vacations and fan conventions and the like for myself, in detail, I know how much work goes into such a report, and appreciate that you do it.
In a blisteringly stupid moment of my own, it never occurred to me to just “Like” a post — if I don’t have a comment, I just wander off having liked it but not ever let you know (unless your ESP is really good).
As for the nasty comment dude, ick – it’s that sort of thing that has made me very, very cautious about what I put into social media or even conversations with groups or a few more judgmental or snarky acquaintances. Some people just live to find those moments they can hurt other people, especially by ruining something special. It’s supposed to be comforting to know we don’t have to live with them or *be* them, but it still hurts. I’m sorry someone did that. He’s an idiot.
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Wanted to let you know I enjoy reading your party reports. I’ve never been to a party and it’s good to learn a bit more about them from your blog. And I appreciate you sharing with us. My situation is is similar to Yorkies, so i don’t think it’s too likely i’ll attend a party. There are always a few jerks and trolls. It sucks, but don’t listen to them.
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Erica –
Well if the previous post did not, this one certainly did prove people read you blog and remain interested. I understand very well how the lack of comments can be disappointing especially when you take so much time to put together such a comprehensive well though out post.
However, I think there are multiple reasons why comments are down and I can think of 3 easy possible reasons why comments have been down: 1) It is summer and the spanking blogworld seems quiet in general, 2) People are just busy with their own crazed lives and perhaps haven’t yet had the opportunity catch up to your most current posts (my reasons) 3) To what Bonnie said about the blogger bug – if you look on sites that lists your blog and normally would show current post and update date ( ie. “2 days ago”) that isn’t working for your blog, you are at the bottom or near bottom of the list.
Also like others who have commented on this post, I doubt I will ever end up at one of these parties (for slightly different reasons than the others – these events don’t seem very open to newcomers), but doesn’t mean I still don’t enjoy reading about them.
Best,
Enzo
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Jay — I do know you’re going through a lot. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Blogging takes a lot of thought and energy and it’s just not fun when the reactions aren’t there. But times are different. People don’t save up their thoughts and experiences for a blog anymore, it seems… they text and tweet and Facebook them, in the moment. I need to accept this.
Yorkie — that’s very kind, thank you. I do get what you mean about your wife being very accommodating but not feeling the same way you do. It’s hard… but I’m glad she’s supportive.
Ariel — I so wish people didn’t worry about offending or about how they sound. What’s interesting and ironic is that the people who do worry (and rarely post because of it), often end up posting the nicest things! Thank you.
Anonymous — I try not to. Some days I’m better able to ignore them than others.
Enzo — thing is, with this post, people commented because I bitched and moaned and guilted them into it. I don’t want to do that. It makes me feel like a pathetic nag. Yeah, the Blogger bug doesn’t help at all, but things were slow long before that. I don’t know… I’m just tired and sad. Hopefully I will snap out of this soon.
By the way, the “Erica” who commented on your latest blog was me. For whatever reason, my picture didn’t go up with my post. Stupid.
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Erica – Perhaps blogs in general are not what they used to be as far as comments go, but you still seem to get your fair share on a consistent basis from what I have seen. Also often times you just never know what will drive people to comment. For example, my posts are consistently low on the comments, but this last post had literally some of the most comments I have had all year and ironically I honestly was not even expecting a single one.
You just never know. Hope you feel better soon.
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Bonnie is right. As soon as I saw your latest post near the top of my blogroll this morning I knew that the blogroll problem – which I had reported to the powers that be – had been fixed. It was just bad timing for your Shadow Lane post. (It affected all non-Blogger posts.)
As for what you post, it’s your blog and no one else’s, and you are perfectly entitles to write about whatever you please. If it helps to talk about what’s going on inside your head, please do continue.
Hugs,
Hermione
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Sorry for not commenting earlier. I think your post a great, and your party reports are the best of all. I would like to see more photos, you have said photos from Shadow Lane are coming and I look forward to them. One thing I do miss on all your posts are the videos you used to post when you were at blogger. I know you said you haven’t figured out how to post them on WordPress, but I bet there are plenty of folks around it would be happy to provide technical advice.
Anyway your poster great.
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I am sorry for your trials at the SL event. I understand the feelings of being left out at times whilst other are playing. Every party I’ve attended , I have felt at some point that I wasn’t invited to some real or imagined side event , where everybody was making the most wonderful memories that I was not to partake in. I confess as to having a tear in my eye as I read your feelings. Your writings touch me. I smile when you write of your happy times and fret as you write of your down periods. I guess that’s what makes you such a great writer. I look forward to your blog and check daily for any updates , and especially look forward to your party reports. This one was , IMO, the best. it showed all the ups and downs the happen, not just the fun, pie in the sky things. I think that’s important to folks that have never been to one of these. Best they know that these events are a filled with hours of fun punctuated with either boredom or disappointment. You tell the truth of all of it. please please continue your truthfulness.
Scott
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Hermione — the Blogger bug was indeed a factor, I’m sure. But I linked it to Twitter and to FetLife as well, and with a few exceptions, pretty much got crickets.
I don’t know how I’ll proceed. I probably shouldn’t make decisions when I’m depressed.
Anonymous — there are no more photos from Shadow Lane, sorry. I hope to have a photo or too from my shoot with Alex, but that’s about it. As for videos, Steve and I haven’t shot anything in months, so there’s nothing to post, even if I knew how. (sigh) Sorry… I know people love pictures and videos.
Scott — you’re very sweet, thank you. And I’m sorry your party experience left you with FOMO. That’s a lousy feeling and sadly, a common one.
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Hi Erica. What I have to say basically mimics a lot of what has been said already. I’m one of your newer followers and I can already see that you never come on here to offend anyone intentionally, especially those who you would consider a friend. I agree with what Katie said in regards to whoever, that offended friend is. You apologized, and took steps to try to correct the situation. I hope this person is able to get past whatever it was.
As far as the waste of internet bandwidth on facebook….. Well, that’s about all I want to say as far as that idiot.
Mainly I wanted to expand on what Hermoine said. Blog in a way that’s best for YOU. What makes you happy? If tinkering with your style is something that YOU feel is the right thing to do, then by all means do it. If not, then keep on keeping on. Either way, I know I will continue to love reading all your posts. You have a lot of talent, and thank you for sharing your great writing with us!
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SH — Facebook is where I play Scrabble and connect with the writers whose books I edit. But of course, there are idiots everywhere. Thank you. No, I really don’t want to change my style. But times are changing, viewers have different desires than they used to, and I’m not sure where my style falls in the spectrum. Blog views don’t lie.
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I think you hit on it when you said times have changed as well. It used to be that forums were the place to go. Now they seem to all be dead. You started blogging on Myspace was it? Then because of change you moved to this. Now, it might be that people spend less time browsing blogs. Or it could be that there are just so many of them now. Who knows. You also mentioned IMs, and all the different types of social media that are out there now. You will always have your loyal following.
Also I agree with Mark, in that your very direct and honest style is what draws people to want to read what you have to say.
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Blog views do lie. You changed services, and things leading to you change all the time. There are more variables than just speculation that the readers who have liked you suddenly don’t like you anymore. Really, you do hear an emotional over reaction to something in that, don’t you?
As for the party write up, I liked it very much. I’m not a party person. Your write up was so complete that I renewed my understanding why I am not a party person, even as I saw how and why party people do enjoy it. I’m glad you had fun. I was able to enjoy it through you, though it would not have been for me in person.
Considering the volume of your posts on this very personal topic, I’m surprised you have not made more mis-steps that set off some sense of offense with someone. It goes with the territory of honesty about shared personal matters. I hope you continue, since that is one of the things that draws me here. What is your alternative to honesty about this? Really. I doubt you are the silent type anyway.
Fondly, Mark
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Mark — overreaction? Absolutely. It’s a character flaw, for sure.
No, I’m not the silent type. When I go truly silent, people get worried. But I don’t want to talk to myself. I need to know people see me. And not just when I complain about not being seen.
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That is not a flaw. It is a feature, one that is fun to read. But don’t make yourself suffer from it. We all here like you too much to want to see that.
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This may be repeating some part of the thirty-plus comments I haven’t read yet– but I’ve always loved your story-telling skill, Erica, and have always noted how you involve the reader in vicarious and splendid and very full adventure.
But to go to all that trouble when there’s no one in the room is indeed vexing. You can’t help but feel jilted a bit, and I’m sorry for that.
I don’t know where everyone else might have gone, but I’ve been having my turn Mommy-sitting, and it leaves me wrung out for a bit. I look at what the kids and others are up to on FarceBook, but to see that means scrolling past all sorts of tiring political and advertising dreck, and doesn’t last long. Then I decide maybe I should be done with ComputerLand for a bit.
Blog responses all over are down or gone, even for mostly-picture types. (Even Wolfie cartoons, gasp!) Maybe there’s just too much. As you mentioned, everyone has things and people to attend, and when it seems like one can’t possibly get around to all the blogs one would like, much less make some meaningful comment, and not wanting those left out to feel insulted, it sometimes might seem simpler just not to do any, at least “not this time.”
Anyway, I do love your sexy corset picture I saw o FB and am heading over for last weekend’s missive.
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Wolfie — I’m so sorry you have to go through the “Mommy-sitting” thing. It’s so hard, I know. And yeah, I get what you’re saying. There’s such a glut of information out there, so much to read, and it’s daunting trying to choose what to read, let alone comment on. Times certainly have changed!
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