OT: Car problems, eye woes, and makeovers

Sorry I’ve been MIA, everyone, but it’s been a strange, hectic week with nothing fun, kink-wise, to post. So please bear with me while I give an off-topic ramble of an update.

In the “only you, Erica” file, we have last Saturday night. I was at John’s, and we were walking in the town square. There are always plenty of people out with their dogs, and I love dogs. So I have made a habit of stopping and petting them whenever it’s feasible. (I always ask the owner first.) I seem to have a knack with dogs, as they’re usually responsive to me. Anyway, we saw a young woman with a bull terrier (I don’t know if you can picture one; they are not really large dogs, but they have distinctively shaped large heads). I crouched down and began petting him, and he hunkered down on the sidewalk, wagging his tail furiously. After a bit, I stopped and started to get back up, and I guess he got excited, not wanting the petting to stop. So, as I was bent over him, he suddenly and very quickly lunged upward… and the top of his head slammed into my left eye.

The dog was fine. I, however. was seeing stars. I had my glasses on; I don’t know if that helped absorb the blow or made it worse. At least they didn’t break, thank goodness. My eye didn’t swell or turn red or anything, it just hurt. I figured it would be OK. The owner was very apologetic, BTW.

But the next day, I wasn’t OK. I could see, but I had floaters and flashers in my left eye like I’ve never had before. It looked like clumps of dust were swirling around in my vision, moving in every direction I looked. So that night, I called my HMO’s after-hours number, spoke to an advice nurse, and he said I should try to get in to see an eye doctor the next day (Monday). Easier said than done with my HMO, of course, but after long waits and two call-backs, I had an appointment at 2:00.

Good news… I do not have a detached retina, which requires laser surgery and can lead to blindness if not attended. I do have what is officially known as vitreous detachment — which, in laymen’s terms, is floaters. A big new crop of them, due to this trauma. The doc dilated my eyes and performed several tests; said my retina was fine. There’s nothing that can be done about floaters; they come with age anyway, but this blow really exacerbated the situation. He told me one of two things will happen: this latest batch will fade away in time (could be three to six months), or I’ll get used to them. (sigh)

“Oh, and your vision will be blurry and you’ll be sensitive to light for the next four-five hours,” he added. “How am I supposed to drive home?” I blurted. He said I could if I had sunglasses, which I did. I was supposed to drop my car off to the shop, which was just a couple of blocks away from the hospital, to get a smog certificate for renewing my registration. But, in my distracted state, I forgot the damn DMV document I was supposed to bring… so, with badly impaired vision, I had to drive all the way home and then all the way back to the mechanic. Not my day.

It got better. After I got home — unable to do any work because I couldn’t see — my mechanic called me. Long story short, I went in just to get a freaking smog check and oil change, and it turned out I’m due for a bunch of other maintenance services. Oh, and my right side view mirror holder is broken, and the entire contraption is hanging by a wire. (I knew that; I just kept shoving it back in place.) He can get a replacement from the dealer, but it will be black, not silver, so he’d have to take it to the body shop and get them to match the paint, which would make it cost a lot more. Or… I could get TWO new mirrors, both in black, so they’ll match. Fine. Whatever. Order the fucking things and just fix it.

Steve couldn’t come by Tuesday, and I had no car, so that gave me a full day at home to catch up on work, considering I’d lost so much time on Monday. Got my car at 8:00 that evening; it cost me $1060. Oh well. It’s only money, right?

Onto Wednesday. I needed a break. My workload wasn’t huge, and Alex and SC and I had planned to go to Sephora to get makeovers. (Sephora is a well-known beauty shop with copious skin products, and they are famous for their mini-makeovers. They’re also famous for their high prices. But the makeovers are $50 — if you don’t buy anything — and I had my $50 gift card from Steve, so I figured I’d go for it.) Mind you, I am incredibly unsophisticated when it comes to makeup. I use drug store products. I hate foundation. I never use eye shadow, and I’ve never even tried brow pencil. So I figured I’d learn some new tricks, if nothing else, and would look really smashing for a couple of hours!

So we met at the mall, had lunch, and then headed to Sephora — SC and I had our appointments at 1:00, and then Alex at 2:00. It was a fun process, sitting and having the technician fuss over our faces, transforming them. They ask you what you’d like to focus on, what your preferences are, etc. I said I wanted a polished look overall on my skin, without caking on foundation, and I wanted to see what really done up eyes would look like. Oh, and cover-up for my under-eye bags/circles. Products, products, products — I don’t think I’ve ever had so much makeup on my face. Contouring, priming, shadowing, highlighting. But the finished look was… wow. I looked like me, and yet not. I kept trying to get a decent selfie, and even SC tried to get a couple of shots for me, but I didn’t like any of them. So, I kept the one I found the least objectionable. Ready? Look at Ms. Glamour…

SC and Alex looked stunning, of course. We took a shot of the three of us, but I’d have to block out SC’s gorgeous face, so there’s no point in posting it.

So… here’s where they get ya. You see these results, and you’re hypnotized. Oooh! I want this! and this! and this! I bought only a quarter of the stuff she used on me… and still spent about $140. (Only $90, deducting Steve’s gift card. They don’t charge you for the makeover if you buy $50 or more of products.) And you know what? There’s no way I’m going to be able to reproduce this on my own. But… I guess it won’t kill me to have some decent products. Although I must confess, she did a lousy job on the under-eye concealer. She put a ton of it on… and later that afternoon, I glanced in a mirror and was disconcerted to see that it had settled and caked into my wrinkles, emphasizing them like a beacon. Ack! There has to be a concealer out there that doesn’t do that!

The three of us shopped around for the rest of the afternoon — SC had also brought replacements for the corset she’d bought that was too big for me. They didn’t have the same one in my size, so she actually bought two others and brought them for me to choose! So we had a fashion show in the mall restroom. 🙂 They were both gorgeous, but one fit a bit better than the other.

Got home around six, and got a few hours of work done. I had planned to go to the gym after our expedition, but I was too wiped out.

Funny side note: when it came time to take the makeup off, I went through two Neutrogena makeup remover cloths and one Eye-Q makeup remover pad, and scrubbed my face in the shower with soap and water, and yet when I was drying off, I still had raccoon rings under my eyes, so I used another Eye-Q pad on them. The next morning, I used some toner on a cotton ball and swiped it over my face… and it came up completely saturated with brown. For God’s sake — how do women who wear this s#$% all the time get their skin clean??

Anyway. My car is well. My bank account is depleted. My eye is driving me nuts; it definitely makes my work a bit more challenging, seeing crud float in front of my eye while I’m staring at the computer. So I take breaks often. This too shall pass, I hope. Who else do you know who has been head-butted by a dog??

Have a great weekend, y’all.

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