Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Fair warning, kids

I’m sorry I’ve been MIA. But the simple truth is, I haven’t felt like writing.

I haven’t felt like doing much of anything, really. My sense of responsibility gets my work done. My sense of vanity gets me to the gym… barely. But other than the necessary basics, all I really want to do is sleep. The rest, I drag myself through kicking and screaming inside. My nerves are shot.

No, it’s not depression. It’s a soul sickness, a deep well of frozen fear and anxiety, a profound sense of powerlessness over all the ugliness and dissension around me — including the helpless rage within my own gut. I know I’m not fooling anyone — you all know who I voted for (already have, by mail). If we’re friends on Twitter or Facebook, you’ve seen what I post. But for the most part, I really, truly tried to keep politics off this blog. I tried to stay on topic. Lately, though, my desire for the topic has waned, along with my libido, my energy, my interest in all things fun. Because I am so consumed with this miserable cesspool of an election. Last week, Steve came over, and we didn’t play. Because I was so despondent, I wasn’t up for it.

So… here is my plan for tomorrow night. I am going to do my best to stay offline. My television will not be tuned into anything but the nostalgia channels or NetFlix. I will not immerse myself in the blow by blow of the incoming results and make myself crazier than I’m already feeling. Then Wednesday morning, I will get up, log on, and cautiously, hopefully, fearfully peek in to see who is president.

And then I will weep. Either in utter despair, or in pure, sweet relief.

If those tears are indeed of relief, once I pick myself up off the floor, I’m coming on here and posting an epic rant, the likes of which you’ve never seen from me before. I’m going to give a certain person a torrential tirade of profanity and contempt, a single-finger sendoff. I’m going to get all the poison out of my system, once and for all, and move on.

Why? Because I want to, and it’s my damn blog. Because I need to.

So… stay tuned. Or not. Your choice.

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21 thoughts on “Fair warning, kids

  1. Anonymous on said:

    I like your plans. Stay as far away as you can from a mass media orgy the likes of which has never been seen before in human history, at least since the Cubs won that baseball thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anonymous — ah, yeah, the Cubs thing. Happy for them; after all, it’s been over a hundred years. But yes, I will try to avoid the media insanity (famous last words).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yorkie69 on said:

    I’ve said it before – hang in there.
    And I am SO looking forward to your rant!

    Yorkie

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anonymous on said:

    I’ll be sure to stop by post election. On Facebook I had to un follow the suggested pages shit as well as the hundreds of daily political memes. My mind is made up for the candidate I’m choosing-I am no one else’s judge, jury or executioner.
    No matter who wins, our lives will continue in our various routines.

    Like

  5. Yorkie — I hope I will be able to post it.

    A.– I tend to disagree with your last statement — I believe our very freedoms and ways of life are at stake. But we’ll see.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I empathize with you. This election … I hate to call it a season because it’s been so horribly long… has been hella stressful. And it’s not just the negativity, nor the fact that so much intolerable hatred and prejudice has been exposed, but also the fact that if the wrong person wins, our liberty, equality, civil rights, health care, are all at stake. And if the better candidate wins, we still have a fight ahead for the next, smarter version of the wrong candidate. Because all that impotent white male anger is not going anywhere. There’s so much work to do…

    Like

  7. Oh Erica. I’m really sorry you’re having such a hard time. Such difficult seasons really suck, don’t they? You’ve got a good plan, though–binge-watch classic movies and munch chocolate–it’s the only way to cope, isn’t it?

    (M*A*S*H re-runs help too, I find.)

    Like

  8. Good for you.

    “Lately, though, my desire for the topic has waned, along with my libido, my energy, my interest in all things fun.”

    Actually I wonder how you keep up the level of your enthusiasm even apart from this election. I flag far more than you seem to, depression, issues, and all.

    So give yourself a break. Then I’m sure I’ll enjoy your rant.

    Like

  9. Terri — I have been watching reruns of Johnny Carson. He still makes me laugh, although I try not to think about how he and most of his guests are gone… bleh.

    Mark — my everyday level of enthusiasm is not all that high. I manage my depression with meds and some coping mechanisms, but overall, I’m tired a lot of the time. I just try to focus on the fun stuff here… but I fail at that sometimes.

    Like

  10. I guess it’s safe to comment here. I can’t on Facebook…I have had to hide the bullshit on Facebook just so I don’t get pissed every time I log on. I can’t believe I am related to some of the people who are sharing the outrageously obvious lies and even more appalled by those who blindly accept it all as facts. I’m so dumbfounded…in total disbelief…that I can’t even formulate coherent thoughts to continue this comment. I don’t even know how to express how I feel because most of the people I know are of the “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” when it comes to their candidate. And, I truly don’t wish to offend anyone but I could never in a million years give my vote to someone who thinks so little of mutual consent.

    Like

    • Jay — you are always safe here, my friend. I am fine with polite, adult disagreement. But any abusive, insulting comments will be deep-sixed. I have to put up with the BS everywhere else — I will not do so here.

      Like

  11. Anonymous on said:

    Hi Erica, politicians come and go but the bullshit stays the same. I just don’t know how you have stayed sane through all this…but just hang in there for a few more hours and it will all be over.
    Remember, a good book and chocolate are your best friends
    Downunder Don

    Like

  12. Anonymous on said:

    Stay strong. The worm always turns….

    Like

  13. Needless to say, you have my, and indeed the world´s, full support here.

    Like

  14. Anonymous on said:

    Yes it all sucks but our system will weather the storm surely coming. I really hate to see it but the acronym BOHICA is about to be visited upon us all.

    Looking forward to your return,

    Anon E. Mouse

    Like

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