Erica Scott: Life, Love and Spanking

Ruminations, opinionated observations, darkly humorous blathering and the occasional rant from an outspoken spanko and unapologetic attention wh–, um, hog.

Correspondence Hall of Shame, End of Year Edition, and more

Greetings, readers. As this will be my last post of 2016, I thought I’d present a hodgepodge of treats for you. So grab a beverage of your choice, whack off a chunk of that stale fruitcake with a hacksaw, and settle in.

First up, a few CHoS entries:

I swear this sounds lile so fucking fun and a turn on
Lolol love it when a women love other thing beside sexΒ 
You do have a sexy ass that should always be SMACK!! Good when that se,y booty is out

Uh… what? I’m sorry, I’m not bilingual; I don’t speak Moronese.

hi cutie, my name is Xxx and we have the same sexual interests.. I enjoy passionate kissing, foreplay, oral sex, anal sex, FWB, LTR, BDSM, role playing and doing anything to please you. I would love to explore every inch of your body with my hands and tongue. I like hard and fast sex, but prefer marathon all night sex.. I may be older than what you are looking for, but age is just a number and PLEASURE, weather it comes from yourself, someone younger, or older, is still PLEASURE. I am always horny and available. If this is what you are looking for, check my profile to see if we match and message me back

I don’t know whose profile you were reading, but it wasn’t mine, since mine said I wasn’t seeking sex. Yes, age is just a number, and so is IQ. Yours, apparently, is in the double digits.

You may have seen this comment before, since it was left right here on this blog. I thought it deserves its own special message. What a shame this person thinks they’re so clever.

I bet you only get spanked on the left side of your ass

Wrong again, Breitbart Breath, as is evidenced by this recent photo:


And finally, to my special hater out there: Really? You think my last blog was all about little ol’ you? Tsk… now who’s vain, hmmm? My upbringing in the “entertainment world” had nothing to do with my political views — I am a well-educated woman and I have a mind of my own — so you may can the condescending claptrap. But hey, thanks for saying I have a pretty face. I do believe that’s the first time in all these years that you’ve ever said anything nice about me. πŸ™‚

Interesting side note: Someone very close to me — who is a conservative and voted for Trump — read my last blog. He could have been pissy about it, but all he had to say about it was that it’s a funny and satirical piece, and some of the best writing he’s seen from me. How about that. I thanked him for his civility, and he said, “I’m the norm. The people who act like a-holes are the exception.” I’m afraid I disagree with that; I think it’s the other way around. But we’ll see.

Moving on — did you guys miss my annual sniping about fruitcake? Then this is for you. Our ever-trendy coffeehouse, Starbucks, unveiled a Christmas treat this year, available for one week only: the Fruitcake Frappuccino. It was described as a blended iced coffee drink with hazelnut and cinnamon, topped by whipped cream, caramel and matcha (whatever the @#$% that is). What’s fruitcake-y about this, you might ask? Well, also blended into the beverage are bits of dried fruit. That’s right, so you can eat your Frappuccino as well as drink it. It’s creamy! It’s chunky! It’s chewy! It’s disgusting!

And if you’re not already sick, here is a real view of it:


I’m sorry, but this doesn’t resemble anything drinkable to me. It looks like the inside of a Times Square toilet on New Year’s Eve.

Did everyone have a nice holiday? Mine had some pleasant moments, although I was struggling a bit. Earlier this month, Alex and Paul had a lovely little party, and I did my best to get into the spirit, dressing myself up, complete with black stockings that had red bows at the top, red pumps, and a black shirt that had “Naughty” on the front and “Nice” on the back. Last week, Alex, SC and I had a long-overdue girls’ night out, where we chatted for hours and exchanged presents. I got some nice things, including a beautiful, soft and plush robe from Alex, and SC gave me a Lego set… to build the Yellow Submarine! I haven’t played with Legos since I was a kid; this should be fun. But I think my favorite gift was one that came as a surprise in the mail: it was from Lily Starr, and when I opened it, I smiled, then giggled, then guffawed. It was a crystal pendant… of a snowflake.

I think this might have been the beginning of a turnaround for me. I felt my humor, long dormant, kick back in a bit. And my feistiness. Damn right I’m a snowflake, and I’ll accept that term, meant to be insulting, with pride. In fact, Lily’s gift inspired me to shoot this little video. πŸ™‚Β Screw with me, and I’m screwing right back. I may go down in a nuclear holocaust in the coming year or so, but I’m going down laughing.

* * *

Now, if I can be serious for a moment. This has been a brutal year. No, not just because of the obvious, but for so many other miseries befalling people I care about. Job losses, illnesses, broken relationships, getting outed. Deaths… so many deaths. John lost his own closest friend last month, and we are still reeling from that. And this was a terrible year for our beloved icons, with an unbelievable count of losses. Actors. Musicians. Authors. Sports figures. Astronauts. Just this week, we lost Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, one day apart. Reportedly, Ms. Reynolds’ last words were “I want to be with Carrie” before she had a massive stroke. I guess it is possible to die of a broken heart. My own heart breaks for Todd Fisher, who lost both his sister and mother within 24 hours, and for Billie Lourd, who lost her mother and grandmother. Sometimes life is very cruel.

If you have never seen Singin’ In The Rain, I am telling you to do so. Even if you say you don’t like musicals, see it anyway. It is so much more than song and dance, although those numbers are dazzling, and it’s impressive to watch a 19-year-old Debbie Reynolds, who’d never danced professionally before, holding her own with two of the best dancers of the 20th century. It’s funny, clever, energetic, romantic, and if it doesn’t put a smile on your face and lift your spirits, you might want to check for a pulse.

What’s my point? Life is short. Hold your loved ones close. Hang in there, and do the best you can. I say this as much to myself as I do to my friends. I’m going to put on my rain gear and boots, and plow bravely forward into the crapstorm that 2017 is looking to be, determined to have fun and experience love and joy where I can. May you all do the same.

Have a great weekend, y’all. β™₯

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24 thoughts on “Correspondence Hall of Shame, End of Year Edition, and more

  1. I like your meme, and liked seeing that happen in real life too. πŸ˜‰ I’m glad you were able to have some holiday fun!

    You know I’m with you on Singin’ In The Rain, now I want to watch it again and will. πŸ™‚ Her death made me really sad though, maybe the worst one this year, especially the one-two with Carrie. There have been so many major ones though.

    I’m happy to see the old you coming back. It has been an awful year, and I don’t know if 2017 is going to be any better, but I know we can get through it together. β™‘β™‘β™‘


  2. 0thistle0 on said:

    “Matcha” is this horrible green tea stuff that Starbucks randomly likes to put in your drink without telling you…especially at the one closest to the party hotel in Chicago.

    Id rather they put in roofies.

    Havent gotten to spend much time with Alex lately, I was thinking about her and Paul this morning. We are hoping to visit Lily and Robert after 50 if we can make it work, havent seen them in ages either.

    oh, how does time get away from us so fast?

    Love to you and John, sis, and may 2017 be the best ever for us all.

    Tasha Hastings


  3. Each snowflakes is a beautiful, unique little wonder of nature. So yeah, you’re a snowflake, suck it up πŸ™‚


  4. Lily — that’s right, you were there. Thanks for being a special part of my holiday. Yeah, I don’t have high hopes for 2017, but good people will help us through. Much love to you and Robert!

    Tasha — blech! I’ll pass on matcha, then. Time does pass too quickly… but we will see you in February! Hugs and love.

    David — well now, when you put it THAT way. πŸ˜‰


    • Please accept my apologies for the inappropriate plural – I posted afore my first cup of tea of the day πŸ™‚


    • I enjoyed sharing it with you too, much love back to you and John! β™‘

      I’ve been getting into superfood smoothies lately and bought some matcha, lol. I haven’t tried it yet, but was going to attempt a creamy vanilla green tea healthy Frappuccino type thing. Hopefully I can make it taste not awful…


  5. All the more reason to try to uphold the occasional standard or two, if you ask me.


  6. Yes – we are always stronger than ill fate if we keep our beloved ones close and enjoy what is good in life.
    I am looking forward to seeing a pic of your Yellow Submarine once it is there!


  7. Anonymous on said:

    Good wishes for 2017.Do not let the B*****Ds grind you down.


  8. MrJ — I have no idea when I’m going to have time to do it! Pesky work, you know, paying the bills and all that. But hopefully soon. I have a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle that’s been sitting about 2/3 finished for months now. sigh

    Anonymous — thank you, I will try not to.


  9. Anonymous on said:

    You look so damned adorable in your video. I belly laughed over its finale. πŸ™‚
    I say OWN your snowflake status. In fact anyone who overcomes MAJOR struggles deserves to OWN their great/strong statuses. And for those who derive great pleasure in cutting them down with insults because they are jealous/hateful, etc. well then raise that middle finger over and over! πŸ™‚


  10. I usually don’t experience anything more than a twinge of sadness when a celebrity passes on. I feel sorry for their loved ones and I’m grateful for the memories if I’m familiar with their work, but that’s about it. I don’t know why but there was something about Carrie Fisher’s and Debbie Reynolds’ deaths that deeply moved me. You’re right – Singing in the Rain is one of the best movies ever and 19 year old Ms. Reynolds (it’s hard to believe that she was ONLY 19) more then held her own against Messers O’Connor and Kelly.) I obviously didn’t known either one of them personally, but I was more than a little upset by the news of the heartbreaking losses for their family. Then I thought of this:

    No I wouldn’t give you false hope
    On this strange and mournful day
    But the mother and child reunion
    Is only a motion away ….

    Those lyrics, as sung by Carrie Fisher’s former husband Paul Simon, are heartbreakingly appropriate at this very sad time.


  11. Oh, the yellow submarine – lucky you! I want one too!

    Clips from Singing in the Rain has been shown on many newscasts. I saw it years ago but hard to believe she had never learned to sing, dance or act before and achieved all that at only 19.

    I feel a flame war coming on πŸ™‚

    Happy 2017,


  12. That was awesome!!!


  13. Downunder Don on said:

    2016 has been such a terrible year for so many people…all we can hope is that 2017 brings a little peace, harmony and humour to a world that surely needs it. Hoping you and John have a Happy New Year and that all your wishes come true. Blessings


  14. A. — you can bet I will, my friend.

    Mike — oh, my. You’re right, that is especially poignant now. (sigh) Dammit, I just teared up again.

    Hermione — she actually didn’t do all her own singing; even though she was playing a singer who was dubbing someone else’s voice, her own voice was actually dubbed for some of the songs! MGM gave her a three-week crash course in dancing, and Gene Kelly was a bit of a tyrant on set, according to sources. When they finished filming the “Good Morning” number, her feet were bleeding in her shoes.

    KB — why thank you!

    Don — thank you, dear. I appreciate the good wishes, and I hope things get better for us all. They need to.


  15. Happy New Year, Erica. Hope 2017 is a good year for you and John.



  16. Anonymous on said:

    I’m glad you’re back with us! The letters sound like your typical aholes, except for that one, that special one: “Go get some phony tits and then we’ll talk, snowflake!”


  17. Chibob on said:

    That looks like mold in a petri dish.


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